Reading about race

I read a blog post yesterday that really bothered me, but I somehow didn't feel so comfortable posting there. The post is about choosing an adoption agency, but my thoughts are about race. To start, it's clear that Mrs. D is simply repeating the options she has been given about adoption. And perhaps the phrasing bothered her just as much as me. And I can understand when you desperately want a baby why you can't eliminate an agency (that you will have to deal with temporarily in order to get a forever baby) because their choice of words bothers you. The post can be found here: http://babywait.blogspot.com/2008/04/what-would-you-choose.html (I have included this so it is clear I am not misrepresenting the words - these are clearly not of Mrs. D herself). But what struck me after reading it was these two lines:

"baby may be mixed race, Hispanic, or Caucasian with possible drug use or smoking during preg."

"You must be open to (a) a baby that is full African American (B) documented drug use in birth mother, or (C) documented mental issues with one birth parent... if you are open to 2 of the above you may get a child sooner"

How can the words 'mixed race' and 'possible drug use' fit into the same sentence, as if they were equally damaging to the child? And how can adopting a black child be in any way equally distressing to documented drug use?

I know there are lots of reasons why interracial adoption can be problematic. It can be a challenge to the child to form a complete identity. It can be a challenge for parents who may live in an unfriendly neighborhood or have relatives and friends who do not embrace the child. And many, many other reasons. I don't think those are insurmountable issues, but I understand that they are real. But still.

And it made me think quite a bit about the contents of my little bump (don't worry, euphemisms whenever possible).

Because one thing I have to be careful about is not to fantasize about a beautiful, healthy baby who looks just like my friend A's, or B's or R's will. Because they are all white. With white spouses. And JD is not white, so our baby won't have blond-blond hair like me and my sister had as babies. And it may not have blue eyes. And it certainly won't have the red curly-Annie-esque hair that I always requested for my dolls (but then, that was never a real possibility).

I just wish words like that, and the assumptions behind them, weren't still floating around when we have a child. I don't want 'mixed race' to be tantamount to 'damaged' in any context.

Note: I realized that I wanted to add that JD is not African-American. I think that African-Americans have a very particular legacy in the United States and I wanted to clarify that those are not the identity issues we will be grappling with in the future.

And since I have such kind, well-informed readers, do you know of any terms of endearment, or even less clinical terms, for mixed-race children?