preceded by a brief introduction/rant, naturally.
I read a lot of new parent blogs where the parents at some point express their admiration for Waldorf/Montessori/Reggio Emilia parenting philosophies, usually grouped together. I most definitely also went through that phase judging by the books on our shelves. There is something very appealing about the deliberate, conscientious parenting put forth in those philosophies. The adorable Waldorf gnomes, the Montessori notecards bound with metal rings, the beautiful artwork. But there are so many blogs out there were the families seem to ascribe wholesale to the advice of Rudolf Steiner or Maria Montessori or Loris Malaguzzi. And let's be slightly realistic here: I hardly think that the wonderfully intuitive and observational practices of a few individuals decades ago are the very best practice today. I feel perfectly confident to interject my own opinions into those philosophies. Montessori believed that children must be weaned at 6 months to a day or they risked over-attachment and limiting their exploration (hence the focus on weaning tables, glass dishes, setting the table for toddlers). Steiner argued that there were certain colors which were simply too emotional or strong for children to handle before a certain age. He's also opposed to picture books for children, believing that oral traditions resonated better. And for all that most American Waldorf schools endorse "ritual" over "Christianity," in many of them the woodland elves have been taken over by a very strong Catholic tradition. So yes, while we have endless silk scarfs and I firmly believe in the importance of a well-stocked dress-up box, we are very much the family that picks and chooses, leaning heavily towards a Montessori-ish approach.
Oh yeah, and I was raised by very devoted parents who surrounded me with science experiments and art projects and sent me to a lab school. And JD marched in lines and has no memory of fantasy play of any sort, or being allowed to help out in the kitchen, or picture books, or bath toys, etc.
My #1 piece of advice is to prepare/actually set out activities the night before. As a working mom who is also not a morning person and happens to have a rather adventurous baby underfoot, I just don't have the time during the day to pull out a new puzzle or set up a painting project, etc. So every night after the babies are asleep I consider what I want us to do the next day and I set out activities in 1-3 of our "work" places. It sometimes buys me a few extra minutes sleep, and it always makes the fusspot excited. So, for example, I might set out all the non-refrigerated ingredients for cupcakes on the fusspot's art table in the kitchen and let her get started with putting cupcakes liners into the tray at 7 am even though I know we can't bake until 6 pm, or counting bears near her high chair in the living room, or a book related to the seasons/something we're doing in her room.
With no further-ado, a few things we like:
(the ceilings are really high. Those butterflies are about 3 feet across, and her week calendar is about 4 feet across)
When you open our front door, it's pretty apparent we have a toddler-centric apartment. On the wall directly across from the door is the fusspot's weekly calendar. I know that the idea of days of the week is too advanced, let alone reading the names, but I think that she does get the idea of rhythm/pattern, and it has helped to cut down on "I don't want to go to daycare" fights. She gets that there is a day when dada is home, and a day when we buy flowers on the way home and light candles with dinner. And she loves to tell people about her week when they come to the door.
Every mother knows that getting out the door is the bane of our existence in the mornings. This is our wall of winter clothing. When it gets really cold I'll add a basket for mittens/hats/scarves/wool socks. The fusspot can't yet really get herself dressed in the morning (and that's fine. I usually grab both of my kids sans winter gear and dress them in the elevator or the lobby because it shortens the protests), but she does get the idea of putting away her coat and boots when we get home. She's been doing that since before her second birthday actually (although it may be the only clean-up she does unprompted).
Oh, and around the corner we have our incredible sling collection. Yes, I still carry my almost-3 year old in a sling some days, and yes I use at least one every day (don't even ask about the stroller collection, it's also
rather excessive):
This is the fusspot's room. The ceilings are really high, but I guarantee that it is smaller than almost any non-city bedroom and I know that it looks a good deal more crowded than ideal. But we also don't have any storage space for "rotating" toys (a fundamental of a Montessori classroom). The fusspot has her musical toys collection, dress-up box (no disney items here, mostly playsilks from goodwill with a couple of awesome purses and hats also from goodwill), a desk for "work" and items the baby can't really ingest yet (plus it was the most incredible bargain ever on craigslist. They practically offered to pay for my cab home), and our beloved reading corner (with a cloth basket of train tracks hiding behind the rocking chair. There's also a doll's crib and blocks just out of sight. And about 10 pull toys. I love pull toys).
Here's a close-up of the reading corner (more inspired by Steiner than Montessori). Many of the books were mine as a child, but I also bought a book per injection when cycling (we lived next to the most fabulous public library with a secondhand bookstore in it in City Y. I still dream about going back and grabbing another handful of $1 pristine condition classic hardback picture books. We also just scored a full 50 used books for $1 a piece at a school fair this fall).
The bathroom next door is fairly intuitive and not all that exciting. In fact, the photo is a bit inaccurate because the fusspot's basket usually has both toilet paper and a pull-up in it. She is actually able to go to the bathroom alone in the evening, use the toilet, wipe, wash her hands and put on her own pull-up, which is pretty incredible (she's been toilet trained since 26 months but we still do a pull-up at night since she's in a crib. Both Steiner and Montessori opposed cribs, but folks, I
love them and plan to keep her in there until college if possible). This is one of those places were Montessori's "care of the self" just makes sense, and it makes
my life so much easier.
And if you're wondering about the elegance of small city apartment life, here's the full view. Note the baby bathtub precariously perched on the toilet. The bumbo seat is used for about 10 minutes per week, but it is an essential restraining device to keep the dumpling from face planting in the bathroom while I get the fusspot out of the bathtub (they bathe together, with the baby bathtubs basically floating in the big bathtub. I take him out but then have to find someplace to put him so he won't get into trouble while I get her out and dried. Ah, the joys of bedtime routines alone). Ah yes, and we do use the bathroom windowsill to store playground toys:
Our pride and joy in this new apartment is the fusspot's workplace in the kitchen. It is actually a chalk table, although we use it for everything from painting to baking to "number cakes" (peg boards for counting. I love that the fusspot calls them numbercakes).
There's a chair for her and a chair for me (craigslist), the table (craigslist), a blank wall and window for displaying art projects, an easy-to-clean floor and a gate on the kitchen to keep the dumpling out in desperate times. It is also quite convenient to have it in the kitchen because we have devoted an entire cabinet in the kitchen to art, math and science supplies. I guess some people really do have a closet for home "school" supplies, but we certainly don't.
Bakin' some number cakes:
I am happy to post about the "work" we've enjoyed thus far, but needless to say there is a heavy focus on sensory/art and science. Contrary to the impression our living room table gives, we are not actually pushing literacy at the moment, but I am hoping that sometime in the next 6 months the fusspot will notice her letters and then we can take the sandpaper letters off the wall and really use them. The item in the photo above is a light box and the fusspot LOVES it. This is a
link with some incredible ideas although we've mainly stayed in the pouring/counting/painting realm thus far. A brief word of warning: light boxes from school supply stores are incredible expensive (over $100) and there are plenty of cheap ones on Amazon but a lot of them are meant for drafting and the surface is on an incline and thus very frustrating to a toddler. This one happens to have been mine as a child. You can make a super-easy light box by putting a bare lightbulb into a large clear tupperware container (like one of the ones designed for under-bed storage). And yes, she is pouring with real glass bowls thanks to goodwill. I don't understand why people buy super-expensive "pouring sets" from school supply stores but it is totally unnecessary. And yes, we clean up broken glass every once in a while. Here's a shot that better captures the magic of the light box:
This is the same corner on a different day. Note the apartment-sized answer to the large play kitchen (available on e-bay although this one is circa late 70s and was most certainly mine as a child):
The dumpling will soon be able to reach both the fusspot's desk and her art table, and so we have added a little project corner on our kitchen table (which naturally sits in the living room). At the moment her basket here has scizzors, hole punches and some paint strips, but we try to rotate through different activities:
Questions? I've been considering a few posts on my favorite childrens books if there's interest, or city activities or art projects. Or maybe just back to my usual gripes about infertility, motherhood and my health.
I am so excited about exactly 7 days and 2 hours of just vacation. No plans except to see my friend, play with my baby sans loud toddler, and enjoy the sights (however constrained they may be by conditions).
