JD and I might not get that many stares when we're out and about as a couple in NYC, but let me assure you that when a 20-something white girl in pajamas, imitation uggs, and unbrushed hair (that's me, and given my recent lack of showers or real clothes, I tend to look on the younger side of the 20s) wanders into a liquor store on Long Island pushing a newborn in a stroller (that's the alien) during a snowstorm with a 50-something Chinese man (that's my FIL) ... well, you can tell people are puzzled. But we needed champagne for New Years. And chocolate chip cookie mix because I'm too tired to make real cookies.
We have a lot of New Years to celebrate. We always spend the Jewish new years with my parents in the South, and try to spend Chinese new years with JD's parents, and since neither of us love crowded bars we tend to spend American new years also at his parents sitting on the couch sipping champagne and eating warm cookies and watching TV (because of course we don't own a TV). Not too exciting, but very cozy. And JD's mother always makes us dumplings, which are totally scrumptious, because that's how you celebrate new years. And the entire family sits around eating unshelled sunflower seeds (they crack them in their mouth) which is a skill I totally lack. While JD and his parents and cousins accumulate these little stacks of sunflower shells, I usually manage to crack about 10 seeds before giving up in frustration ...
I hope your New Years is as pleasant and relaxing, and for those of you still waiting for a take-home baby, my thoughts are with you.
ps - If you have a moment, please pop over and congratulate Patti and Mark on the arrival of Baby Jack. And if you want a good cry, please read the most recent post at Uterine Wars and congratulate Soper, D and Moonpie on finally completing their family after a very long wait.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Even better news
We got the best news yesterday at the pediatrician: the resident alien gained 14 ounces in 7 days, putting her back at a normal weight and allowing us to relax the 10+ hours a day I was spending trying to get her to eat.
In fact, we decided not to set any alarms at all tonight in celebration. Which I must admit, only works because the alien usually sleeps on JD's chest. I have realized that I really am that awful mother who is going to sleep through her baby's cries. It shouldn't be that surprising given that I could still sleep through the night at 9 months pregnant (and have a long history of doing things like falling asleep in airpots and sleeping through flight announcements, etc. and missing my flight ...), but everyone kept reassuring me that I would become a light sleeper post-partum and that I would be in tune with my baby's needs. I think I'm fairly well in tune with them during the day, but the truth is I just sleep through her cries at night. Even when she is sleeping in my arms or napping in her cradle directly next to the couch.
I do think JD and I need some perspective on what a baby is supposed to look like. We both feel more than a bit overwhelmed by this new, chunky creature who actually has a neck roll! and a line on her arm! and will occasionally open her eyes while eating! and wake up to look at you even when she is not working on something down below! And today my tiny little baby wore a 0-3 month onesie without looking completely absurd, although I'm sure the fit was seriously aided by the very bulky, cheap newborn cloth diapers and diaper covers we are currently using.
In fact, we decided not to set any alarms at all tonight in celebration. Which I must admit, only works because the alien usually sleeps on JD's chest. I have realized that I really am that awful mother who is going to sleep through her baby's cries. It shouldn't be that surprising given that I could still sleep through the night at 9 months pregnant (and have a long history of doing things like falling asleep in airpots and sleeping through flight announcements, etc. and missing my flight ...), but everyone kept reassuring me that I would become a light sleeper post-partum and that I would be in tune with my baby's needs. I think I'm fairly well in tune with them during the day, but the truth is I just sleep through her cries at night. Even when she is sleeping in my arms or napping in her cradle directly next to the couch.
I do think JD and I need some perspective on what a baby is supposed to look like. We both feel more than a bit overwhelmed by this new, chunky creature who actually has a neck roll! and a line on her arm! and will occasionally open her eyes while eating! and wake up to look at you even when she is not working on something down below! And today my tiny little baby wore a 0-3 month onesie without looking completely absurd, although I'm sure the fit was seriously aided by the very bulky, cheap newborn cloth diapers and diaper covers we are currently using.
Monday, December 29, 2008
final thoughts on gestational diabetes
(Please, please, please let these be my final thoughts).
I finally talked to the GD doctor today. His receptionist had twice told me that I could not have a follow-up appointment until I had redone the GTT at 12 weeks post-partum. I had twice told her there was no possible way I was having that test and that I still wanted to talk to the doctor. I would have preferred to have a real face-to-face appointment, but settled for a conversation over the phone instead.
In case you're wondering, he agreed 100% that I do not need another GTT. After all, I was insulin resistant pre-pregnancy, my numbers did not change with pregnancy, so there's no reason to presume that I would be worse post-pregnancy. And more importantly, I'm not going to do anything to radically change my lifestyle (He suggested that I must have been pretty healthy pre-pregnancy and following a diet without simple carbs. I maintained silence while eyeing my double-portion bowl of oatmeal covered with brown sugar ...)
For the most part the doctor stuck to the party line: You had blood sugar problems (note: he did not say GD on the phone today), your baby was healthy because you kept them under control. She was not abnormally small (25th percentile, it turns out but both JD and I were 9 lbs and everyone in my family has enormous babies) nor is GD responsible for her sudden weight loss after birth. And of course, I got to have the unmedicated birth I wanted, so I should be grateful for their advice.
So I asked if it was possible that by being so strict with the diet I had starved my baby. And he said that there are several good studies indicating that following the GD diet strictly does not have adverse affects on babies, even those born with low birth weight ... and then there was a long pause ... and then he added "Of course, none of those studies start with women with normal BMIs before pregnancy." So there you have it. There really is no evidence about whether such a restrictive diet (and the related not gaining weight and fighting just to stop losing weight from month 7 to the end of the pregnancy) can have a detrimental effect on a baby whose mother is not overweight. Brilliant.
In happier news, I have discovered that despite my adamant wish not to co-sleep,* my firm belief in schedules and crying it out, etc. we might just be an attachment parenting family. The little alien is currently snoring away in a sling on my stomach (the outside of which has several distinct traces of oatmeal on it), she slept on JD's chest all night until he left for work, after which we nursed in bed for 2 hours ... so much for all that planning.
* Just to clarify, not because I think there's anything wrong with co-sleeping but because I am such a heavy sleeper and sleep better without extra company.
I finally talked to the GD doctor today. His receptionist had twice told me that I could not have a follow-up appointment until I had redone the GTT at 12 weeks post-partum. I had twice told her there was no possible way I was having that test and that I still wanted to talk to the doctor. I would have preferred to have a real face-to-face appointment, but settled for a conversation over the phone instead.
In case you're wondering, he agreed 100% that I do not need another GTT. After all, I was insulin resistant pre-pregnancy, my numbers did not change with pregnancy, so there's no reason to presume that I would be worse post-pregnancy. And more importantly, I'm not going to do anything to radically change my lifestyle (He suggested that I must have been pretty healthy pre-pregnancy and following a diet without simple carbs. I maintained silence while eyeing my double-portion bowl of oatmeal covered with brown sugar ...)
For the most part the doctor stuck to the party line: You had blood sugar problems (note: he did not say GD on the phone today), your baby was healthy because you kept them under control. She was not abnormally small (25th percentile, it turns out but both JD and I were 9 lbs and everyone in my family has enormous babies) nor is GD responsible for her sudden weight loss after birth. And of course, I got to have the unmedicated birth I wanted, so I should be grateful for their advice.
So I asked if it was possible that by being so strict with the diet I had starved my baby. And he said that there are several good studies indicating that following the GD diet strictly does not have adverse affects on babies, even those born with low birth weight ... and then there was a long pause ... and then he added "Of course, none of those studies start with women with normal BMIs before pregnancy." So there you have it. There really is no evidence about whether such a restrictive diet (and the related not gaining weight and fighting just to stop losing weight from month 7 to the end of the pregnancy) can have a detrimental effect on a baby whose mother is not overweight. Brilliant.
In happier news, I have discovered that despite my adamant wish not to co-sleep,* my firm belief in schedules and crying it out, etc. we might just be an attachment parenting family. The little alien is currently snoring away in a sling on my stomach (the outside of which has several distinct traces of oatmeal on it), she slept on JD's chest all night until he left for work, after which we nursed in bed for 2 hours ... so much for all that planning.
* Just to clarify, not because I think there's anything wrong with co-sleeping but because I am such a heavy sleeper and sleep better without extra company.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Good news and holliday wishes
I think our fai.lu.re to thri.ve scare might just be over (and please don't let that statement come back to haunt me). Our little alien gained 5 ounces between Sunday morning at 8 am and Tuesday midday. And we were given our first reprieve from weight checks every 72 hours - a full 7 days. Of course, she still sleeps through too many feeds and panics her mother, and the challenge now is to keep up our vigilance through the sleep deprivation. I have never been so glad that christmas is a national holiday (for any new readers, we don't celebrate christmas).
And even though she has a pretty weak latch and loves to push my breast out of her mouth while feeding, I got some more confirmation that she is getting enough to eat today. Of course, it took a terribly irresponsible act to make me feel better. To start with, the baby slept for 3 hours straight this morning between our hospital visit (see below) and shopping excursion. And then, I had to run a few errands and I was totally exhausted and I went to bed to take a short nap just before JD was supposed to come home tonight. And I slept for 3 hours straight while JD finger-fed the baby. Great for being well-rested, awful for my guilt and trying to fatten up a mini-baby. But when I pumped tonight (after a feeding) I got 8 ounces, which leads me to think that the resident alien is in fact consuming a large quantity of milk everyday.
Today was full of lots of other good news. I returned to the hospital and the alien passed her hearing test (she failed in both ears when she was released, but that was most likely because she was less than 18 hours post-birth and still had fluid and vernix in her ears).
And we went shopping. To be precise, I went to a store where I had several gift cards and finally completed my wedding registry. Another errand that had been scheduled for December 9th.
And I finally braved the world of slings and wraps, and I LOVE the Moby wrap. It is soft and warm and really easy to use for a newborn (much easier than the Bjorn). And it allowed me to run out to a friend's apartment and to hang up the laundry tonight.
Which brings us to tonight's photo. Chag sameach to all of you - whether you are celebrating hanukkah or christmas or just a vacation day, I hope you are having a relaxing and peaceful evening.
And a little note about occupation therapy since the fabulous Ms. J. (herself a new mother who went through a much tougher first few weeks than I could even imagine) asked. I had no idea that O.T. was an option at 11 days old, but our lactation consultant recommended someone and they landed up coming together because of the snowstorm. The woman worked on the baby's latch, and also a bit on her general 'alignment.' Apparently because most bodies are stuck on one side in utero for the last several weeks, it is normal for them to be off balance and to have trouble with their latch and swallowing for the first few days. With a fai.lu.re to th.riv.e baby, you don't have those extra days to allow them to adjust, so that's why we went for the therapy. I will admit to being as skeptical as ever, but the woman was incredibly calming and the baby's latch and suck definitely improved after the visit (she said it can take up to 72 hours to see an improvement).
And because you have to celebrate the humor whenever possible, the O.T. woman looked around our apartment as she was leaving and asked if we wanted her to try and find some charitable funds to help cover the cost of the visit. I was a bit puzzled since I hadn't asked or even asked the cost when setting up the appointment, and although we might be currently drowning in medical bills, JD and I are both well-employed and able to afford this bill. But after she shut the door JD just cracked up - because of course if you didn't ask what we did for a living and you looked around at our living room you'd think we were living straight out of goodwill and the local dumpster, which happens to be where the vast majority of our furniture comes from. It is in fact a matter of pride for us that the only two items we have ever bought new are a large shelf from ikea and a filing cabinet - and that includes all of the furniture in the living room, the baby's equipement and our own bedroom furniture. It's just that we have so many other things we want to spend money on (in the past travel, recently infertility, getting married, allowing JD to take 3 months off between jobs, the awful exchange rate with the euro ...) and we have very comfortable, functional furniture. But I could see where you might get the wrong impression.
And even though she has a pretty weak latch and loves to push my breast out of her mouth while feeding, I got some more confirmation that she is getting enough to eat today. Of course, it took a terribly irresponsible act to make me feel better. To start with, the baby slept for 3 hours straight this morning between our hospital visit (see below) and shopping excursion. And then, I had to run a few errands and I was totally exhausted and I went to bed to take a short nap just before JD was supposed to come home tonight. And I slept for 3 hours straight while JD finger-fed the baby. Great for being well-rested, awful for my guilt and trying to fatten up a mini-baby. But when I pumped tonight (after a feeding) I got 8 ounces, which leads me to think that the resident alien is in fact consuming a large quantity of milk everyday.
Today was full of lots of other good news. I returned to the hospital and the alien passed her hearing test (she failed in both ears when she was released, but that was most likely because she was less than 18 hours post-birth and still had fluid and vernix in her ears).
And we went shopping. To be precise, I went to a store where I had several gift cards and finally completed my wedding registry. Another errand that had been scheduled for December 9th.
And I finally braved the world of slings and wraps, and I LOVE the Moby wrap. It is soft and warm and really easy to use for a newborn (much easier than the Bjorn). And it allowed me to run out to a friend's apartment and to hang up the laundry tonight.
Which brings us to tonight's photo. Chag sameach to all of you - whether you are celebrating hanukkah or christmas or just a vacation day, I hope you are having a relaxing and peaceful evening.
And a little note about occupation therapy since the fabulous Ms. J. (herself a new mother who went through a much tougher first few weeks than I could even imagine) asked. I had no idea that O.T. was an option at 11 days old, but our lactation consultant recommended someone and they landed up coming together because of the snowstorm. The woman worked on the baby's latch, and also a bit on her general 'alignment.' Apparently because most bodies are stuck on one side in utero for the last several weeks, it is normal for them to be off balance and to have trouble with their latch and swallowing for the first few days. With a fai.lu.re to th.riv.e baby, you don't have those extra days to allow them to adjust, so that's why we went for the therapy. I will admit to being as skeptical as ever, but the woman was incredibly calming and the baby's latch and suck definitely improved after the visit (she said it can take up to 72 hours to see an improvement).
And because you have to celebrate the humor whenever possible, the O.T. woman looked around our apartment as she was leaving and asked if we wanted her to try and find some charitable funds to help cover the cost of the visit. I was a bit puzzled since I hadn't asked or even asked the cost when setting up the appointment, and although we might be currently drowning in medical bills, JD and I are both well-employed and able to afford this bill. But after she shut the door JD just cracked up - because of course if you didn't ask what we did for a living and you looked around at our living room you'd think we were living straight out of goodwill and the local dumpster, which happens to be where the vast majority of our furniture comes from. It is in fact a matter of pride for us that the only two items we have ever bought new are a large shelf from ikea and a filing cabinet - and that includes all of the furniture in the living room, the baby's equipement and our own bedroom furniture. It's just that we have so many other things we want to spend money on (in the past travel, recently infertility, getting married, allowing JD to take 3 months off between jobs, the awful exchange rate with the euro ...) and we have very comfortable, functional furniture. But I could see where you might get the wrong impression.
Monday, December 22, 2008
still here
On the couch, that is. Same as yesterday and the day before. Oh, and all night too.
Called the pediatrician again in a panic when I couldn't wake the baby after 4+ hours. Apparently my whole pediatric practice discussed this case at their meeting this week because a doctor I had never met called me back about 60 seconds after I left the message and knew quite a bit about what was going on. She did calm me down a bit, but it's quite terrifying when even ice cubes on your newborn's stomach don't't cause her to stir.
The radiator in our apartment is broken. Drs. Google suggest being careful not to overheat a sleepy baby.
And yesterday night JD, my mother and I lit hanukkah candles together. Our daughter's first night of hanukkah and she slept through it all. And I managed not to cry during the candle lighting (JD and my mother are on too high alert for PPD) but I did cry for at least an hour after they were all in bed. My little miracle baby. The cycle no one wanted to finish, that my RE allowed us to complete 'so that I would feel better.' The cycle with 30 follicles where the trigger had to be moved up because I was leaving the country. The trigger shot I carried in my purse to a conference, and ran out during a Q and A to have student health administer the shot because I didn't have time to run home and use my full length mirror. The cycle JD had to buy a last minute plane ticket up to NYC and came home rather drunk on Saturday night after catching up with his friends. The first time I -ever- ovulated. We have so much to celebrate - now if only I could get enough rest to remember it.
Called the pediatrician again in a panic when I couldn't wake the baby after 4+ hours. Apparently my whole pediatric practice discussed this case at their meeting this week because a doctor I had never met called me back about 60 seconds after I left the message and knew quite a bit about what was going on. She did calm me down a bit, but it's quite terrifying when even ice cubes on your newborn's stomach don't't cause her to stir.
The radiator in our apartment is broken. Drs. Google suggest being careful not to overheat a sleepy baby.
And yesterday night JD, my mother and I lit hanukkah candles together. Our daughter's first night of hanukkah and she slept through it all. And I managed not to cry during the candle lighting (JD and my mother are on too high alert for PPD) but I did cry for at least an hour after they were all in bed. My little miracle baby. The cycle no one wanted to finish, that my RE allowed us to complete 'so that I would feel better.' The cycle with 30 follicles where the trigger had to be moved up because I was leaving the country. The trigger shot I carried in my purse to a conference, and ran out during a Q and A to have student health administer the shot because I didn't have time to run home and use my full length mirror. The cycle JD had to buy a last minute plane ticket up to NYC and came home rather drunk on Saturday night after catching up with his friends. The first time I -ever- ovulated. We have so much to celebrate - now if only I could get enough rest to remember it.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
slight improvement
Our darling resident alien is up 2 ounces.
She also had her first occupational therapy at 8 am on a Sunday morning. Somehow I really doubt her insurance (whenever they send us any information) is going to cover that bill. But she does not have a good latch or suck yet and yet again I feel under a deadline to make everything better.
She's 12 days old now and fast approaching the 14 day mark when they want to see significant gains in her weight (from its lowest point). And we have another weigh-in on Tuesday. She is also now 2 days past her due date.
We are now using both an eyedropper and an SNS (supple.men.tal nutritional system - the little cord that premies use to eat EBM at the breast) to feed her. And I'm supposed to pump 10 times a day. And feed every 2 hours. And since feedings take a good hour at times, plus pumping for at least 10 minutes, eating for 5 minutes for me ... I am getting a bit tired.
But honestly, feeling much more optimistic now that she has finally stopped dropping weight.
She also had her first occupational therapy at 8 am on a Sunday morning. Somehow I really doubt her insurance (whenever they send us any information) is going to cover that bill. But she does not have a good latch or suck yet and yet again I feel under a deadline to make everything better.
She's 12 days old now and fast approaching the 14 day mark when they want to see significant gains in her weight (from its lowest point). And we have another weigh-in on Tuesday. She is also now 2 days past her due date.
We are now using both an eyedropper and an SNS (supple.men.tal nutritional system - the little cord that premies use to eat EBM at the breast) to feed her. And I'm supposed to pump 10 times a day. And feed every 2 hours. And since feedings take a good hour at times, plus pumping for at least 10 minutes, eating for 5 minutes for me ... I am getting a bit tired.
But honestly, feeling much more optimistic now that she has finally stopped dropping weight.
1:46 am
I just finished pumping and I don't need to wake the baby and feed her again until 3 am, so this is my long break of the day. And why aren't I asleep? Because I am sitting her composing a letter in my head to Dr. R- at the GD clinic.
It's pretty much a joke that each of my GD appointments cost my insurance over $600, and I managed to ring up a $900 bill while in labor having my regular NST and BPP before being admitted to the hospital (from 12 feet down the hall - actually in sight of the room I delivered in ... but that's part of the birth story I have yet to post). However, I realized that as a result I won't be able to have a follow-up appointment at the GD clinic and resolve these issues face to face.
So here, in short, is what I want to know: Even when you (i.e. Dr. R.) admitted I probably didn't have GD and the residents twice tried to release me from the clinic, why did no one think that such a restrictive diet might just starve my daughter in utero? Both JD and I were over 9 lbs and everyone else in my family has had enormous babies. Do you think that my over-zealous following of your GD diet hurt my daughter? And why didn't we even discuss that possibility along the way?
We have another weigh-in at 8 am tomorrow morning. I am still hoping for good news. Of course, I can also still feel all of my daughter's ribs and her sternum poking out of her chest. And see the empty old-woman folds of skin on her arms. Off to bed, or at least to the couch since I have started to get panic attacks when I go to sleep that I will sleep through the next feeding.
It's pretty much a joke that each of my GD appointments cost my insurance over $600, and I managed to ring up a $900 bill while in labor having my regular NST and BPP before being admitted to the hospital (from 12 feet down the hall - actually in sight of the room I delivered in ... but that's part of the birth story I have yet to post). However, I realized that as a result I won't be able to have a follow-up appointment at the GD clinic and resolve these issues face to face.
So here, in short, is what I want to know: Even when you (i.e. Dr. R.) admitted I probably didn't have GD and the residents twice tried to release me from the clinic, why did no one think that such a restrictive diet might just starve my daughter in utero? Both JD and I were over 9 lbs and everyone else in my family has had enormous babies. Do you think that my over-zealous following of your GD diet hurt my daughter? And why didn't we even discuss that possibility along the way?
We have another weigh-in at 8 am tomorrow morning. I am still hoping for good news. Of course, I can also still feel all of my daughter's ribs and her sternum poking out of her chest. And see the empty old-woman folds of skin on her arms. Off to bed, or at least to the couch since I have started to get panic attacks when I go to sleep that I will sleep through the next feeding.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
not great
Just a quick update.
The baby is holding her weight but not gaining. Her eyes are turning yellow, so I guess her jaundice is getting worse. No idea why we can't just put her under the jaundice lights, but the doctor seems to be very hesitant (and yes, they've tested her blood levels and it's not dangerous yet but it certainly makes it harder to feed her).
I bought a breastpump, which was broken. Medela has the worst customer service. Hopefully will manage to buy another one today. Definitely getting plugged ducts and spiked a high fever yesterday night while nursing. Trying to feed the baby hand expressed milk with an eye dropper - probably the least effecient method ever. There must be something better out there.
There's nothing wrong with my supply or the baby's latch, she's just so little that she gets too tired to nurse. I am supposed to nurse her every 2 hours night and day until she gains some weight. As you can imagine, I am tired.
I will post in a few days. Another pediatrician appointment tomorrow.
The baby is holding her weight but not gaining. Her eyes are turning yellow, so I guess her jaundice is getting worse. No idea why we can't just put her under the jaundice lights, but the doctor seems to be very hesitant (and yes, they've tested her blood levels and it's not dangerous yet but it certainly makes it harder to feed her).
I bought a breastpump, which was broken. Medela has the worst customer service. Hopefully will manage to buy another one today. Definitely getting plugged ducts and spiked a high fever yesterday night while nursing. Trying to feed the baby hand expressed milk with an eye dropper - probably the least effecient method ever. There must be something better out there.
There's nothing wrong with my supply or the baby's latch, she's just so little that she gets too tired to nurse. I am supposed to nurse her every 2 hours night and day until she gains some weight. As you can imagine, I am tired.
I will post in a few days. Another pediatrician appointment tomorrow.
Monday, December 15, 2008
6 months, 6 days, 5 ounces
Six months ago today I stood beneath a chuppah and married the man of my dreams.
Six days ago we welcomed our daughter.
And today I found out that she lost five ounces since Friday.*
Here we go lactation consultants, pumping after every feed, more pediatrician appointments and a whole new level of anxiety. She is currently draped across my chest, nude except for a cloth diaper and there is milk running from both of my breasts into the top of my sweatpants. And lurking in the back of my mind is that sinking feeling that if I hadn't been put on such a restrictive diet for a disease I probably did not actually have, I would have had a beautiful, healthy seven or eight pound daughter instead of one who now weighs slightly less than the smallest weight I ever use at the gym and who is getting increasingly challenging to wake every two hours.
No wonder I am a bit emotional today.
* She had already lost some weight in the first three days, so this weight loss pushed us over the 10% limit (babies are not supposed to lose more than 10% of their body weight in the first two weeks).
Six days ago we welcomed our daughter.
And today I found out that she lost five ounces since Friday.*
Here we go lactation consultants, pumping after every feed, more pediatrician appointments and a whole new level of anxiety. She is currently draped across my chest, nude except for a cloth diaper and there is milk running from both of my breasts into the top of my sweatpants. And lurking in the back of my mind is that sinking feeling that if I hadn't been put on such a restrictive diet for a disease I probably did not actually have, I would have had a beautiful, healthy seven or eight pound daughter instead of one who now weighs slightly less than the smallest weight I ever use at the gym and who is getting increasingly challenging to wake every two hours.
No wonder I am a bit emotional today.
* She had already lost some weight in the first three days, so this weight loss pushed us over the 10% limit (babies are not supposed to lose more than 10% of their body weight in the first two weeks).
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Day 5
It would be really easy to write that I've been so busy caring for my daughter that I just haven't had time to post ... but actually, the truth is a little different. The truth is that I've been so pampered this week that I have been eating non-stop, napping, lying on the couch and directing other people in how to do my laundry ... and it's hard to fit in posting between such important and busy activities (yes, JD went back to work the morning after I was released from the hospital, but that was expected and as a result his parents and now my family have come to help).
In fact, as I write, I am hidden away in the bedroom ostensibly 'catching up on schoolwork' (ok, I had to write one e-mail to cancel a meeting. Not so much work) because JD ran out and bought me a red velvet cupcake and he didn't want my mother to see me eat it since I've already had 2 bagels, juice, sugar cereal, chocolate, pizza, and a large gelato after my somewhat healthy breakfast ...
In short, things are great. The baby is 100% nocturnal but JD has been taking the early shift (till about 1 am) and I can easily handle the rest of the night for at least a few more nights (for the record, my normal sleep pattern pre-pregnancy was about 4-6 hours per night and I'm hoping to be able to return to that soon). So much for not co-sleeping (which I happen to think is fabulous for light sleepers and people who are just very comfortable with a little person in bed - we are both heavy sleepers which makes me really nervous and we also have a quilt in bed) ... the baby does best when she's snuggled between us, so that's where she lands up by about 5 am. My milk is in and thus far breastfeeding is going fine, although I wish someone had told me how uncomfortable it would be the first 3 days when it gave me contractions every time the baby latched on ...
And in other shocking news, I wore a full outfit of pre-pregnancy clothes out today (I'll admit it, stretch jeans, but that certainly counts). I'm only down 10 lbs, which is a bit impressive since the baby was 6.5 of those pounds and I must have lost at least a little water weight, but that also means I'm below my pre-TTC weight. I think that I've set a goal of losing another 5-8 pounds by the time I start work again, but I'm certainly not stressed if that doesn't happen. Of course, it wasn't until after I took a 3 mile walk today that the midwife called to check in on me and told me not to do anything strenous for another week ... oh well.
And as for names, JD and I completely stalled on the discussion on Thursday because he was trying to catch up at work and I was a bit tired and home with the baby ... so we have yet to give her a middle name. But her first name is Ta.li.a. Which happens to work very well with JD's last name. But her nickname for now is the little alien because she has incredibly dark, deeply set eyes and she tends to spend a lot of time freeing her left hand from her swaddle and waving it slowly in the air as if she is signaling to some distant orchestra or spaceship about how weird life is here on earth.
I'm back to filling my sugar fantasies and then taking a nap before everyone else goes to bed ... I plan to post the birth story tomorrow and then I'll have to find something slightly less obnoxious to write about then lying on the couch all day with a beautiful, snuggly little alien who doesn't yet have the lung capacity to make anything more than very cute, bird-like cries.
And thank you so much for such kind, wonderful comments.
In fact, as I write, I am hidden away in the bedroom ostensibly 'catching up on schoolwork' (ok, I had to write one e-mail to cancel a meeting. Not so much work) because JD ran out and bought me a red velvet cupcake and he didn't want my mother to see me eat it since I've already had 2 bagels, juice, sugar cereal, chocolate, pizza, and a large gelato after my somewhat healthy breakfast ...
In short, things are great. The baby is 100% nocturnal but JD has been taking the early shift (till about 1 am) and I can easily handle the rest of the night for at least a few more nights (for the record, my normal sleep pattern pre-pregnancy was about 4-6 hours per night and I'm hoping to be able to return to that soon). So much for not co-sleeping (which I happen to think is fabulous for light sleepers and people who are just very comfortable with a little person in bed - we are both heavy sleepers which makes me really nervous and we also have a quilt in bed) ... the baby does best when she's snuggled between us, so that's where she lands up by about 5 am. My milk is in and thus far breastfeeding is going fine, although I wish someone had told me how uncomfortable it would be the first 3 days when it gave me contractions every time the baby latched on ...
And in other shocking news, I wore a full outfit of pre-pregnancy clothes out today (I'll admit it, stretch jeans, but that certainly counts). I'm only down 10 lbs, which is a bit impressive since the baby was 6.5 of those pounds and I must have lost at least a little water weight, but that also means I'm below my pre-TTC weight. I think that I've set a goal of losing another 5-8 pounds by the time I start work again, but I'm certainly not stressed if that doesn't happen. Of course, it wasn't until after I took a 3 mile walk today that the midwife called to check in on me and told me not to do anything strenous for another week ... oh well.
And as for names, JD and I completely stalled on the discussion on Thursday because he was trying to catch up at work and I was a bit tired and home with the baby ... so we have yet to give her a middle name. But her first name is Ta.li.a. Which happens to work very well with JD's last name. But her nickname for now is the little alien because she has incredibly dark, deeply set eyes and she tends to spend a lot of time freeing her left hand from her swaddle and waving it slowly in the air as if she is signaling to some distant orchestra or spaceship about how weird life is here on earth.
I'm back to filling my sugar fantasies and then taking a nap before everyone else goes to bed ... I plan to post the birth story tomorrow and then I'll have to find something slightly less obnoxious to write about then lying on the couch all day with a beautiful, snuggly little alien who doesn't yet have the lung capacity to make anything more than very cute, bird-like cries.
And thank you so much for such kind, wonderful comments.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
She's Here
6 lbs 9 oz. Born at 6:01 pm yesterday evening after 13 hours of back labor.
Birth story to come later, but I had the exact labor I wanted despite the back pain. No meds, no interventions. Of course, both doula and midwife told me repeatedly how unusual my labor was since the contractions were irregular for the majority of the day. Early labor was incredibly speedy, transition and pushing were very slow. JD was allowed to stay in the room with us overnight and we were discharged early this afternoon.
And even though you can't tell in the photo, we both look a bit silly at this point. I burst a ton of blood vessels in my face and she has a weird rash, huge birthmark on her forehead (which will fade), and dark blue 'Mongolian spot' on her rear end (which looks like a bruise if you've never seen one).
And now I'm sitting on the couch sipping a (very, very small) glass of champagne and watching the baby sleep. Oh, and trying to think of a name for her.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Strategy #1 in progress
Update: Roses and sour cream and onion chips were just delivered to me. Of course, he forgot one of the two items I actually needed.
I think I just got JD's attention. Let's hope so.
He usually calls before he leaves work to check if I'm at home or still at my desk. So tonight I told him I need him to stop and pick some stuff up on his way home. [This is so exciting, right?] Except I told him I want 2 items from our 24-hour corner supermarket - 2 blocks from our apartment, and the type of place I am totally comfortable running out to in my pajamas.
He was like "Woah, not feeling well enough to go out yourself?" And the truth is I'm just not feeling inspired to go out myself. I had a sudden realization during acupuncture today (which I enjoy if just because it gives me 30 minutes of silence to think and not feel guilty about not doing things)* that this might very well be my last week to be pampered for a while. For example, I really didn't feel like cooking dinner tonight. I could have splurged and ordered out, but that tends to be more frustrating than rewarding at this point given how few foods I can eat. So instead I had a repeat of breakfast (and since I skipped lunch because of a late appointment that makes it the most boring food day ever - 2 mini whole wheat bagels with cream cheese, 2 bowls of plain lowfat yogurt, 2 small bowls of plain cottage cheese and a few pomegrante seeds for dessert). But wouldn't it have been great if someone had offered to cook dinner for me?
And yes, JD is working 12 hour days and all, but he needs to squeeze in a little time to pamper me. So we'll see if he gets the message. Oh, and this (rather expensive) 24-hour supermarket just happens to have beautiful flowers out front. I know because we've twice brought flowers to bring to other people since moving ... so we'll see if JD gets the hint. Of course, I'm not expecting that much improvement in a single night.
Don't worry, I have several other ideas up my sleeve if this one fails.
* And yes, Rachel, I think it hurts when they put the needles in. Certainly the needles in my feet, but it doesn't hurt once they're in and not at all when they take them out. The acupuncturist always tells me not to tense up when she puts in the needles, but, um, really?
I think I just got JD's attention. Let's hope so.
He usually calls before he leaves work to check if I'm at home or still at my desk. So tonight I told him I need him to stop and pick some stuff up on his way home. [This is so exciting, right?] Except I told him I want 2 items from our 24-hour corner supermarket - 2 blocks from our apartment, and the type of place I am totally comfortable running out to in my pajamas.
He was like "Woah, not feeling well enough to go out yourself?" And the truth is I'm just not feeling inspired to go out myself. I had a sudden realization during acupuncture today (which I enjoy if just because it gives me 30 minutes of silence to think and not feel guilty about not doing things)* that this might very well be my last week to be pampered for a while. For example, I really didn't feel like cooking dinner tonight. I could have splurged and ordered out, but that tends to be more frustrating than rewarding at this point given how few foods I can eat. So instead I had a repeat of breakfast (and since I skipped lunch because of a late appointment that makes it the most boring food day ever - 2 mini whole wheat bagels with cream cheese, 2 bowls of plain lowfat yogurt, 2 small bowls of plain cottage cheese and a few pomegrante seeds for dessert). But wouldn't it have been great if someone had offered to cook dinner for me?
And yes, JD is working 12 hour days and all, but he needs to squeeze in a little time to pamper me. So we'll see if he gets the message. Oh, and this (rather expensive) 24-hour supermarket just happens to have beautiful flowers out front. I know because we've twice brought flowers to bring to other people since moving ... so we'll see if JD gets the hint. Of course, I'm not expecting that much improvement in a single night.
Don't worry, I have several other ideas up my sleeve if this one fails.
* And yes, Rachel, I think it hurts when they put the needles in. Certainly the needles in my feet, but it doesn't hurt once they're in and not at all when they take them out. The acupuncturist always tells me not to tense up when she puts in the needles, but, um, really?
Photos and obsessiveness
So it's true. We still don't have a name picked out. We spent hours going through name books (and lists of online names, including the top 200 names in NYC for the past 2 years, which is a great list) and family trees and trying to come up with a name in September. And we couldn't find anything we both liked. So we basically just stopped talking about, and that's how we got to 38 weeks with no name. JD seems to think we'll just think of one when we see the baby, but honestly, all newborns look pretty much the same and if I'm tired and grumpy I doubt I'll be in a reasonable mood. Oh, and in NY State if you leave the hospital with the baby unnamed you have to go to family court to fix it, which sounds like quite a hassle.
I really wish we could name the baby after one of my grandmothers or great-grandmothers, but they all had very dated (and Yiddush) names. JD's family doesn't reuse names, so that doesn't help much. And then of course we need a middle name too ...
And although I still feel great and it's really incroyable to think that we might have a real baby by the end of the week, I guess I am kind-of showing. Here's the belly at 38 weeks, 1 day (i.e. earlier today, in the freezing cold). The craziest thing is that I am only 3 lbs above my pre-TTC weight from last year. But I'm assured that there's at least 7 lbs of baby in there and apparently plenty of pading:
Unfortunately JD cropped my new, cute slouchy gray suede boots out of the photo.
Ok, so for the record, now that I am definitely at 38 weeks and the clock is ticking loudly towards pitocin here's what we've been up to:
- Acupuncture (twice a week)
- Red leaf raspberry tea
- Foot massages
- Um, that (really awkward) thing you do with your partner that's supposed to help
- Primrose oil (although not as a suppository because it interferes with #4 and just sounds gross)
- No more prenatals (never heard of this but I'll clearly try anything)
- Long walks and stairs
- Yummy spicy Indian food
And yes, I know this qualifies me as completely obsessive. But given that basically anyone at any of my seven medical appointments this week could make the call to send me straight to the hospital (ok, half of those appointments are in the hospital so they'd just have to send me across the hall) for an induction or C-Section, I don't see the point of dragging this out any longer. Any other suggestions?
I really wish we could name the baby after one of my grandmothers or great-grandmothers, but they all had very dated (and Yiddush) names. JD's family doesn't reuse names, so that doesn't help much. And then of course we need a middle name too ...
And although I still feel great and it's really incroyable to think that we might have a real baby by the end of the week, I guess I am kind-of showing. Here's the belly at 38 weeks, 1 day (i.e. earlier today, in the freezing cold). The craziest thing is that I am only 3 lbs above my pre-TTC weight from last year. But I'm assured that there's at least 7 lbs of baby in there and apparently plenty of pading:
Unfortunately JD cropped my new, cute slouchy gray suede boots out of the photo.Ok, so for the record, now that I am definitely at 38 weeks and the clock is ticking loudly towards pitocin here's what we've been up to:
- Acupuncture (twice a week)
- Red leaf raspberry tea
- Foot massages
- Um, that (really awkward) thing you do with your partner that's supposed to help
- Primrose oil (although not as a suppository because it interferes with #4 and just sounds gross)
- No more prenatals (never heard of this but I'll clearly try anything)
- Long walks and stairs
- Yummy spicy Indian food
And yes, I know this qualifies me as completely obsessive. But given that basically anyone at any of my seven medical appointments this week could make the call to send me straight to the hospital (ok, half of those appointments are in the hospital so they'd just have to send me across the hall) for an induction or C-Section, I don't see the point of dragging this out any longer. Any other suggestions?
Sunday, December 7, 2008
More whining, but photos and enthusiasim coming soon
For the record, giving birth is not a spectator sport. I'm very impressed with those of you who have enough generosity to allow spectators in the room. I'm sure it is very meaningful for those people to be there. I am not one of those kind, generous people. In fact, I fully expect to be exceedingly grumpy during this entire process (I've heard through the grapevine that it hurts ...)
A relative of mine, who used to be an L and D nurse, and is an exceedingly fun person to hang out with, offered a few weeks ago to attend the birth. However, she lives 3 or so hours outside NYC and has not once come to visit us in the city. She's also not so young and has some health problems and I really can't imagine calling her at 2 am and asking her to hope in her car and drive in to hang out with us. Which is why we hired a doula. And I thought that was that. I just got a guilt trip about it from none other than my sister about the situation. Not that making me feel guilty will change anything, but it did annoy me. Mind you, she did not offer to come help out with the newborn after I give birth - just the delivery part.
Moreover, we are not calling anyone until we are home from the hospital. For one simple reason, I don't want visitors in the hospital. My family is all too far away to show up, my friends are too clueless to know what's appropriate (except those with kids who are too busy), and JD's mother is still convinced that she's going to pick me and the baby up (not JD, mind you) and take us to her house 2.5 hours away ... and I think the easiest way to avoid that conflict is simply not to call until we're home. Plus, we'll need to go to the pediatrician within 48 hours of our release, so there's no reason to torture the baby with 5+ hours of driving in her first 2 days for absolutely no reason. And my apartment is completely set up for me and the baby (with my hearty stash of desserts in the freezer). And I don't really think it's fair or nice to call my family and not JD's, plus we'll most likely be released within 24 hours and so there's just no reason people can't wait to find out (I did concede JD could e-mail his buddies on his blackberry if he needs 'support' and he seemed pretty content with that) and if I'm not released it's because they've cut me open and I'll just want to sleep and relax.
I of course thought it was better just to tell people what we're going to do, so that they have time to get over it. But the more complaining I hear from them, the less interest I have in talking to any of my family (except my mother, who very dutifully listens to me whine almost daily) until after I've given birth. Nobody has yet expressed any real concern for how I'm feeling, or, just like my wedding, how I'm doing emotionally and it's really starting to peeve me. Oh well.
Oh, and one other annoyance just to show you how obnoxious I am when JD's family is clearly going out of their way to be helpful. My MIL called from Costco today to tell JD she'd bought us a huge stash of (disposable, not even chlorine free) diapers. Of course, she also bought us some cloth diapers before so she knows we want to use cloth diapers. I know we'll also need disposable diapers for when we're traveling or overwhelmed with laundry, etc. but I just think a huge Costco-scale stash is going to be way too tempting to use full time. And we live in NYC! There are 3 24-hour drug stores within 3 minutes of our apartment where we can stock up on disposable diapers whenever we should need them. So of course I'm peeved, even though I'm sure this shopping excursion was done with nothing but the best intentions.
Coming up when JD comes home from work: the final belly shots. We actually had taken none since our honeymoon in August so in the freezing cold today we went outside and took a bunch, and they are really cute. Plus more news on how the obsessive woman deals with her rapidly-approaching due date by indulging in every known 'natural' induction method.
A relative of mine, who used to be an L and D nurse, and is an exceedingly fun person to hang out with, offered a few weeks ago to attend the birth. However, she lives 3 or so hours outside NYC and has not once come to visit us in the city. She's also not so young and has some health problems and I really can't imagine calling her at 2 am and asking her to hope in her car and drive in to hang out with us. Which is why we hired a doula. And I thought that was that. I just got a guilt trip about it from none other than my sister about the situation. Not that making me feel guilty will change anything, but it did annoy me. Mind you, she did not offer to come help out with the newborn after I give birth - just the delivery part.
Moreover, we are not calling anyone until we are home from the hospital. For one simple reason, I don't want visitors in the hospital. My family is all too far away to show up, my friends are too clueless to know what's appropriate (except those with kids who are too busy), and JD's mother is still convinced that she's going to pick me and the baby up (not JD, mind you) and take us to her house 2.5 hours away ... and I think the easiest way to avoid that conflict is simply not to call until we're home. Plus, we'll need to go to the pediatrician within 48 hours of our release, so there's no reason to torture the baby with 5+ hours of driving in her first 2 days for absolutely no reason. And my apartment is completely set up for me and the baby (with my hearty stash of desserts in the freezer). And I don't really think it's fair or nice to call my family and not JD's, plus we'll most likely be released within 24 hours and so there's just no reason people can't wait to find out (I did concede JD could e-mail his buddies on his blackberry if he needs 'support' and he seemed pretty content with that) and if I'm not released it's because they've cut me open and I'll just want to sleep and relax.
I of course thought it was better just to tell people what we're going to do, so that they have time to get over it. But the more complaining I hear from them, the less interest I have in talking to any of my family (except my mother, who very dutifully listens to me whine almost daily) until after I've given birth. Nobody has yet expressed any real concern for how I'm feeling, or, just like my wedding, how I'm doing emotionally and it's really starting to peeve me. Oh well.
Oh, and one other annoyance just to show you how obnoxious I am when JD's family is clearly going out of their way to be helpful. My MIL called from Costco today to tell JD she'd bought us a huge stash of (disposable, not even chlorine free) diapers. Of course, she also bought us some cloth diapers before so she knows we want to use cloth diapers. I know we'll also need disposable diapers for when we're traveling or overwhelmed with laundry, etc. but I just think a huge Costco-scale stash is going to be way too tempting to use full time. And we live in NYC! There are 3 24-hour drug stores within 3 minutes of our apartment where we can stock up on disposable diapers whenever we should need them. So of course I'm peeved, even though I'm sure this shopping excursion was done with nothing but the best intentions.
Coming up when JD comes home from work: the final belly shots. We actually had taken none since our honeymoon in August so in the freezing cold today we went outside and took a bunch, and they are really cute. Plus more news on how the obsessive woman deals with her rapidly-approaching due date by indulging in every known 'natural' induction method.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
I was trying so hard to stay positive ...
Just got a call from my midwife. Not a big deal, but another little wrench in the plans and another little thing to worry about. Turns out the first lab read was incorrect, I am Group Strep B positive. Right? Not such a big deal.
Except that I had this test done extra-early (i.e. 2 weeks ago) so that they could test the sensitivities of the strain and strategize about which antibiotics to give me given my very extensive and serious allergies to meds. But somehow the lab forgot, even though it was circled twice on the lab slip. So unless we have time to rerun the lab results before I go into labor, I'm consigned to the one and only drug treatment they're sure I'm not allergic to ... which just happens to make me throw up violently. My miwife assures me I'd probably be throwing up by this point anyway, but really? Do I need to go into this knowing that because of a lab error (which also wasn't caught so early ...) I'll be guaranteed to feel nauseous in labor in addition to whatever else is going on ...
And then I get the guilt trip about this being the best thing for the baby. Of course I'm not going to deliberately expose my child to a potentially fatal complication, but that doesn't make me feel better about the lab error, especially when I really was proactive about this issue weeks ago to try and avoid any time crunch ...
Except that I had this test done extra-early (i.e. 2 weeks ago) so that they could test the sensitivities of the strain and strategize about which antibiotics to give me given my very extensive and serious allergies to meds. But somehow the lab forgot, even though it was circled twice on the lab slip. So unless we have time to rerun the lab results before I go into labor, I'm consigned to the one and only drug treatment they're sure I'm not allergic to ... which just happens to make me throw up violently. My miwife assures me I'd probably be throwing up by this point anyway, but really? Do I need to go into this knowing that because of a lab error (which also wasn't caught so early ...) I'll be guaranteed to feel nauseous in labor in addition to whatever else is going on ...
And then I get the guilt trip about this being the best thing for the baby. Of course I'm not going to deliberately expose my child to a potentially fatal complication, but that doesn't make me feel better about the lab error, especially when I really was proactive about this issue weeks ago to try and avoid any time crunch ...
Friday, December 5, 2008
Good news
I'm starting to dilate! I couldn't be more excited. Of course, don't worry, I'm not even at 1 cm yet but all seems to be well. Passed another NST thanks to 2 liters of ice cold water and a lot of wiggling, but I did not pee in the exam chair. And the midwife thought all was well and I should really stop worrying about going past my due date. So there we have it. Shabbos starts momentarily so I'm off to services and then a long day of rest.
Of course, this does mean JD and I really should start talking about picking a name tonight. Wish us luck.
Of course, this does mean JD and I really should start talking about picking a name tonight. Wish us luck.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
One more checkmark, and a funny one at that
As you might recall, my midwife waited until directly before Thanksgiving to mention that I needed to see her supervising ob/gyn (NY State law - all midwives practice under an ob/gyn even if they never see that person) now that I was classified as 'high risk.' So off I trundled this afternoon, having been warned by the receptionist that their waits tend to be -very- long.
The wait wasn't actually that bad, and the moment the doctor walked into the room I realized it was all going to be fine. Of all things, it was the doctor from 'The Busin.ess of Being Bo.rn,' the one who rants about how doctors do everything during labor for their own convenience and the one who lands up doing a C-Section. Turns out he'll be doing my C-Section should it be necesary. And he couldn't have been more relaxed.
He told me I can go as far past my due date as I feel like, although I should try to go into labor sooner rather than later. He was all for massage and acupuncture and primrose oil and anything else I feel like trying. The one odd thing he recommended was to stop taking prenatals - he thinks they may delay the onset of labor. Has anyone else heard of this? I'm sure I have plenty of folic acid in my body by this point (and it's really most important in the 1st 1/2 of the 1st trimester) so I'm going to give it a try. Other than that, I was in and out of his office in under 5 mintues and he scrawled a very cheerful note to my midwife which his nurse dutifully made official with a big, bright stamp.
The wait wasn't actually that bad, and the moment the doctor walked into the room I realized it was all going to be fine. Of all things, it was the doctor from 'The Busin.ess of Being Bo.rn,' the one who rants about how doctors do everything during labor for their own convenience and the one who lands up doing a C-Section. Turns out he'll be doing my C-Section should it be necesary. And he couldn't have been more relaxed.
He told me I can go as far past my due date as I feel like, although I should try to go into labor sooner rather than later. He was all for massage and acupuncture and primrose oil and anything else I feel like trying. The one odd thing he recommended was to stop taking prenatals - he thinks they may delay the onset of labor. Has anyone else heard of this? I'm sure I have plenty of folic acid in my body by this point (and it's really most important in the 1st 1/2 of the 1st trimester) so I'm going to give it a try. Other than that, I was in and out of his office in under 5 mintues and he scrawled a very cheerful note to my midwife which his nurse dutifully made official with a big, bright stamp.
This cold needs to end
I am turning into an excessively belligerent person. Although honestly in the littlest and pettiest of ways.
I had to run out to my midwife's office to pick up medical records for an appointment later today, despite the canceled appointment with her. And on the way back I took the bus.
I was sitting quite comfortably when a very, very large woman and her equally large friend got on. She proceeded to sit next to me, and then kindly offer to squeeze in so her equally large friend could also sit. Since I honestly feared that my little bump might be seriously squashed by the girth next to me I proceeded to stand. Which was totally fine. I felt fine, these women clearly needed to sit, and I'm hardly one to blame someone for their size ...
Except that I then proceeded to unbutton my coat which was covering up the little bump and to lean suggestively against the pole. Basically just to give the poor woman a guilt trip for no reason at all. And there she is merrily thanking me and wishing me Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and all the best of luck.
I really hope my cold clears up soon.
I had to run out to my midwife's office to pick up medical records for an appointment later today, despite the canceled appointment with her. And on the way back I took the bus.
I was sitting quite comfortably when a very, very large woman and her equally large friend got on. She proceeded to sit next to me, and then kindly offer to squeeze in so her equally large friend could also sit. Since I honestly feared that my little bump might be seriously squashed by the girth next to me I proceeded to stand. Which was totally fine. I felt fine, these women clearly needed to sit, and I'm hardly one to blame someone for their size ...
Except that I then proceeded to unbutton my coat which was covering up the little bump and to lean suggestively against the pole. Basically just to give the poor woman a guilt trip for no reason at all. And there she is merrily thanking me and wishing me Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and all the best of luck.
I really hope my cold clears up soon.
The little things we forgot
My midwife's office is tiny. Two midwifes. Which is great because you know exactly who will be catching babies on any given day.
But ... when the midwives are both out catching babies sometimes they have to reschedule all their appointments ... which is not so easy when you're quite as overbooked as I am:
- No, I cannot skip my NST in the morning.
- No, I cannot reschedule it.
- No, I would prefer not to cancel acupuncture because they charge for cancellations (I love that insurance will help pay for the appointment but not a cancellation caused by another medical appointment).
- No, you CANNOT double-book me for an appointment I already have next Tuesday afternoon (i.e. an appointment with the midwife. No wonder they are always running so late when they offered me the exact appointment I already have ... maybe I should have taken it just to try and keep them on schedule).
Oh well. Clearly no baby coming out this week, so I guess I can just wait. Of course, I still have to run over to the office and pick up my records to bring them to my afternoon appointment ...
But ... when the midwives are both out catching babies sometimes they have to reschedule all their appointments ... which is not so easy when you're quite as overbooked as I am:
- No, I cannot skip my NST in the morning.
- No, I cannot reschedule it.
- No, I would prefer not to cancel acupuncture because they charge for cancellations (I love that insurance will help pay for the appointment but not a cancellation caused by another medical appointment).
- No, you CANNOT double-book me for an appointment I already have next Tuesday afternoon (i.e. an appointment with the midwife. No wonder they are always running so late when they offered me the exact appointment I already have ... maybe I should have taken it just to try and keep them on schedule).
Oh well. Clearly no baby coming out this week, so I guess I can just wait. Of course, I still have to run over to the office and pick up my records to bring them to my afternoon appointment ...
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Oh yeah
and if one more person asks why I'm not gorging myself at a Christmas party (I had 2 tonight, another 2 next week. Blah) I am going to toss my elegant wine glass of water straight at them. That's all.
And I'll blame it on the head cold, obviously.
[Oh, but don't worry about me and missing all that holiday sugar. I just got home and did a very self-satisfied inspection of all of the dessert food that I have stashed in little tupperware containers in my freezer. We will have a very unhealthy New Year's Day in this apartment, let me assure you.]
And I'll blame it on the head cold, obviously.
[Oh, but don't worry about me and missing all that holiday sugar. I just got home and did a very self-satisfied inspection of all of the dessert food that I have stashed in little tupperware containers in my freezer. We will have a very unhealthy New Year's Day in this apartment, let me assure you.]
Still sick
and it's starting to get me down. Going on 7 days of a brain full of snot and a very sore throat. So if you have any suggestions of safe remedies for colds, please let me know. I have a humidifier next to the bed and have been taking long, hot showers but other than that, nada.
It's hard to try and get psyched for labor when I just feel tired and congested. And of course I haven't been getting all that much work done. Plus, the endless runabout of doctors appointments is getting me down. I wish I could just go to bed but I have 2 meetings and then an event tonight, and 2 doctors appointments and an evening lecture tomorrow. Plus another doctors appointment and a lunch event I organized on Friday. Can't wait for shabbos, and it's only Wednesday.
It's hard to try and get psyched for labor when I just feel tired and congested. And of course I haven't been getting all that much work done. Plus, the endless runabout of doctors appointments is getting me down. I wish I could just go to bed but I have 2 meetings and then an event tonight, and 2 doctors appointments and an evening lecture tomorrow. Plus another doctors appointment and a lunch event I organized on Friday. Can't wait for shabbos, and it's only Wednesday.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Home Alone
It's Tuesday night and I'm home alone again. JD's office has been 'very slow' of recent, which means he usually gets home around 9 pm and thus far no weekend work where he has to go to the office. But he e-mailed tonight to say it might be closer to 11 pm. Which is honestly fine at this point. I did basically no work today with 3 appointments and a meeting, and it's nice to have a few hours at my desk to work. Plus, I don't have any early morning plans so I can stay up with him till at least 1 am when he gets home and then just sleep in a bit in the morning.
My friends who have children keep telling me I'll get most of my work done from 8 pm to midnight once the baby starts to sleep in 2-3 hour blocks. But I really wonder if I've done enough mental preparation for the spring. Because of our crazy plan to move back to Europe (baby and I, that is), JD will be saving his family leave time for the end of the spring and back on this schedule within a couple days of my delivering. So I will be alone for a the majority of every day. On one hand, JD does not leave for work until 9 am or so he will have plenty of time with the baby in the morning, presuming she decides to torture us and do the normal baby thing of waking up between 5 and 6 am. And I know she'll nap during the day. But am I crazy? Is there anything I can do at this point to prepare?
Oh, and if you're wondering why this is suddenly on my mind, apparently our nanny (we're sharing a nanny with a friend on our street) wants a few more hours. And I'm trying to decide if I will really have the energy to work more hours this spring, and whether it's worth/excessively indulgent given our budget constraints it to have a nanny around even if I'm too tired to work but want to run out to the grocery store or gym (hahaha) alone when the weather is bad.
And also because I called JD's work several times today to tell him all my appointments went fine. And apparently he spends a lot more time in meetings this year than last - i.e. 4 phone calls and he never picked up at his desk. Of course, he has a secretary who can track him down and I had to assure her repeatedly that this was not an emergency today. I haven't met her yet, and I presume that the only thing she knows about me is that I'm rather pregnant and due any day now, so she was quite sure when I called for the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time that I really was in labor and didn't want to scare JD, and she kept telling me it wasn't a big deal to pull him out of a meeting (can you imagine how worried he would have been? when all I wanted to say was the my test results were fine).
Well, at least it will be entertaining to watch 2 such optimistically over-reaching people adjust to a baby's schedule. I'm sure we'll do it, but I'm not sure how gracefully.
My friends who have children keep telling me I'll get most of my work done from 8 pm to midnight once the baby starts to sleep in 2-3 hour blocks. But I really wonder if I've done enough mental preparation for the spring. Because of our crazy plan to move back to Europe (baby and I, that is), JD will be saving his family leave time for the end of the spring and back on this schedule within a couple days of my delivering. So I will be alone for a the majority of every day. On one hand, JD does not leave for work until 9 am or so he will have plenty of time with the baby in the morning, presuming she decides to torture us and do the normal baby thing of waking up between 5 and 6 am. And I know she'll nap during the day. But am I crazy? Is there anything I can do at this point to prepare?
Oh, and if you're wondering why this is suddenly on my mind, apparently our nanny (we're sharing a nanny with a friend on our street) wants a few more hours. And I'm trying to decide if I will really have the energy to work more hours this spring, and whether it's worth/excessively indulgent given our budget constraints it to have a nanny around even if I'm too tired to work but want to run out to the grocery store or gym (hahaha) alone when the weather is bad.
And also because I called JD's work several times today to tell him all my appointments went fine. And apparently he spends a lot more time in meetings this year than last - i.e. 4 phone calls and he never picked up at his desk. Of course, he has a secretary who can track him down and I had to assure her repeatedly that this was not an emergency today. I haven't met her yet, and I presume that the only thing she knows about me is that I'm rather pregnant and due any day now, so she was quite sure when I called for the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time that I really was in labor and didn't want to scare JD, and she kept telling me it wasn't a big deal to pull him out of a meeting (can you imagine how worried he would have been? when all I wanted to say was the my test results were fine).
Well, at least it will be entertaining to watch 2 such optimistically over-reaching people adjust to a baby's schedule. I'm sure we'll do it, but I'm not sure how gracefully.
Very proud
of myself, of course. I am exceedingly proud of having shown up to acupuncture and willingly allowed a stranger to put a series of needles into my body. I have a lot of control issues with needles and I would far rather do anything painful or unpleasant to myself than allow someone else to; I think it comes from having been a rather sick little kid with a lot of doctor's appointments. Not only did I do my own injections for IF and blood draws for GD, but I can also put in my own IV and routinely take them out. But today I was calm and relaxed and I survived acupuncture.*
Rewarded myself with a quick little shopping trip to TJ Maxx, where I was supposed to find new hand towels. Needless to say, instead of hand towels, I bought a baby outfit.
Oh, and I also passed another ultrasound and NST.
* Yes, still a skeptic but the acupuncturist claims to have an 85% success rate for labor induction. We'll see.
Rewarded myself with a quick little shopping trip to TJ Maxx, where I was supposed to find new hand towels. Needless to say, instead of hand towels, I bought a baby outfit.
Oh, and I also passed another ultrasound and NST.
* Yes, still a skeptic but the acupuncturist claims to have an 85% success rate for labor induction. We'll see.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Postscript on registries: Just the way the world is supposed to work
My previous post on registries reminded me that I wanted to buy a gift for someone from their registry. Not because I had to or because I was invited to their baby shower, but because I wanted to.
And being a bit cheap, I decided to google coupons for the place she had registered.
And there are tons of them.
And at least one applies to the breastpump I want to buy.
Which is really, really expensive.
And so, by buying a gift for a friend I managed to find a way to save oodles of money on an item we need.
Just the way the world is supposed to work.
And being a bit cheap, I decided to google coupons for the place she had registered.
And there are tons of them.
And at least one applies to the breastpump I want to buy.
Which is really, really expensive.
And so, by buying a gift for a friend I managed to find a way to save oodles of money on an item we need.
Just the way the world is supposed to work.
Thoughts on registries
The wind is howling outside (which I find delightful from my desk inside) and I need a break from reading, so here are my quick thoughts on baby registries.
1. Our friends are incredibly generous. I registered very, very selectively since we were living in a mini-apartment at the time (320 sq. ft., 1 bedroom), but all the same, almost everything off our registries has been purchased for us. I also think it comes from being among the first of our friends to have a baby, so our friends are much happier to select something off a registry than actually have to go into a baby store. I really think it might take us under $100 to buy the rest of the items we need off our registry, plus the 2 big items that I did not expect our friends to splurge on. I could not be happier about this.
2. Baby registries are much, much more work than wedding registries. And I should know, we just finished up our wedding registry ;-) I would estimate that at least 1/4 of the items I originally added to our list were unavailable by last week. A large part of this is because things like slings and cloth diapers come in so many different size and color options, and the truth is I don't care all that much. But every time a specific size or color gets sold out, the item becomes unavailable and I have to remember to keep logging in and changing my selection (and neither registry notifies me of this). Also, it really helps to register at 2 different places (we used amazon and ba.by.earth) because when one place lists an item as out of stock or discontinued the other place usually still has it.
3. Along the same lines of baby vs. wedding registries, neither of the places I registered has any type of completion package. Not nice. However, bab.ies 'r us really didn't have the items I wanted.
4. Finally, customer service. We registered at amazon and bab.y.earth.com and I have to say amazon's customer service was awful. The whole point of registering is to avoid duplicates, but somehow their computers were down for a couple of days and we received several duplicate items off our registry (where it reads, desired: 1, received: 3). Not only did I have to take them all to the post office to mail, but amazon is taking a full 14 business days to give us a credit and it's a bit unclear if they're even refunding the shipping costs on the return to us. Needless to say I was annoyed. Ba.by.eart.h also had a few slip-ups including a rather disturbing note from 'Grandma and Grandpa' which clearly was not meant for us, but they have been charming to deal with and just sent me a credit to compensate for their slip-ups. Of course, their items also seem to go 'out of stock' astoundingly quickly.
5. Final pet peeve. If you plan to spend $30 on a gift, try to find something around $30. A number of my friends bought us several small gifts off the registry and then I kept having to add $10 and under gifts because I didn't want anyone to feel obliged to spend more than $10 on us, or to even feel that was an expectation. We have a lot of poor grad student friends and I think $10 is a totally appropriate gift, especially under the circumstances, but I'm starting to run out of items in that price range that we actually need.
6. Final thought. The best benefit of amazon is that several friends ordered an item off of our registry and then added a book that they remembered from their childhood. Those are the best presents to open - something we need, plus something personal and sweet from our friends.
1. Our friends are incredibly generous. I registered very, very selectively since we were living in a mini-apartment at the time (320 sq. ft., 1 bedroom), but all the same, almost everything off our registries has been purchased for us. I also think it comes from being among the first of our friends to have a baby, so our friends are much happier to select something off a registry than actually have to go into a baby store. I really think it might take us under $100 to buy the rest of the items we need off our registry, plus the 2 big items that I did not expect our friends to splurge on. I could not be happier about this.
2. Baby registries are much, much more work than wedding registries. And I should know, we just finished up our wedding registry ;-) I would estimate that at least 1/4 of the items I originally added to our list were unavailable by last week. A large part of this is because things like slings and cloth diapers come in so many different size and color options, and the truth is I don't care all that much. But every time a specific size or color gets sold out, the item becomes unavailable and I have to remember to keep logging in and changing my selection (and neither registry notifies me of this). Also, it really helps to register at 2 different places (we used amazon and ba.by.earth) because when one place lists an item as out of stock or discontinued the other place usually still has it.
3. Along the same lines of baby vs. wedding registries, neither of the places I registered has any type of completion package. Not nice. However, bab.ies 'r us really didn't have the items I wanted.
4. Finally, customer service. We registered at amazon and bab.y.earth.com and I have to say amazon's customer service was awful. The whole point of registering is to avoid duplicates, but somehow their computers were down for a couple of days and we received several duplicate items off our registry (where it reads, desired: 1, received: 3). Not only did I have to take them all to the post office to mail, but amazon is taking a full 14 business days to give us a credit and it's a bit unclear if they're even refunding the shipping costs on the return to us. Needless to say I was annoyed. Ba.by.eart.h also had a few slip-ups including a rather disturbing note from 'Grandma and Grandpa' which clearly was not meant for us, but they have been charming to deal with and just sent me a credit to compensate for their slip-ups. Of course, their items also seem to go 'out of stock' astoundingly quickly.
5. Final pet peeve. If you plan to spend $30 on a gift, try to find something around $30. A number of my friends bought us several small gifts off the registry and then I kept having to add $10 and under gifts because I didn't want anyone to feel obliged to spend more than $10 on us, or to even feel that was an expectation. We have a lot of poor grad student friends and I think $10 is a totally appropriate gift, especially under the circumstances, but I'm starting to run out of items in that price range that we actually need.
6. Final thought. The best benefit of amazon is that several friends ordered an item off of our registry and then added a book that they remembered from their childhood. Those are the best presents to open - something we need, plus something personal and sweet from our friends.
Really, truly 37 weeks
My brain is still full of snot, but other than that I feel great. In fact, as my doula put it tonight when she came to visit us, I really look more than a bit too glowing ... i.e. absolutely no sign of labor. No contractions on my NST, no Braxton-Hicks, no weird aches or pains (unrelated to the cold, that is). So into the world of natural induction we go. Starting with prim.er.ose oil and acupuncture this week, and who knows what fun next week ...
I am very, very glad to have made it to full term.
And I also wanted to explain a bit about all my recent whining. I'm sure it's quite dull to read and I really appreciate your wading through and even bothering to comment. I realized that a large part of why I want to record all of this, is to reassure myself that this wasn't all that easy and I had to put up with a good deal of hassle at the end, and yet it was all doable and entirely worth it. And I feel like if I don't record the little trials and tribulations of being 'high risk' someplace it's just possible that they might ballon in my or JD's mind (not that I let him read my blog, but I could show him posts in the future if I need to) to an insurmountable challenge which I couldn't possibly face again. And for all that I whine at lot, the truth is that I'd like to do this whole thing again as soon as our finances can support it.
I have 3 calls to make as soon as doctor's offices open in the morning, and then hopefully I will have managed to squeeze all 6 appointments into this week while still attending the 3 important meetings I need to go to and watching my friend's baby for an hour while she goes to an important meeting ... oh, and 2 birthday parties, 1 housewarming party, the opera, and an errand downtown relating to a store credit that's about to expire ... plus all my usual work for the week. Whee.
I am very, very glad to have made it to full term.
And I also wanted to explain a bit about all my recent whining. I'm sure it's quite dull to read and I really appreciate your wading through and even bothering to comment. I realized that a large part of why I want to record all of this, is to reassure myself that this wasn't all that easy and I had to put up with a good deal of hassle at the end, and yet it was all doable and entirely worth it. And I feel like if I don't record the little trials and tribulations of being 'high risk' someplace it's just possible that they might ballon in my or JD's mind (not that I let him read my blog, but I could show him posts in the future if I need to) to an insurmountable challenge which I couldn't possibly face again. And for all that I whine at lot, the truth is that I'd like to do this whole thing again as soon as our finances can support it.
I have 3 calls to make as soon as doctor's offices open in the morning, and then hopefully I will have managed to squeeze all 6 appointments into this week while still attending the 3 important meetings I need to go to and watching my friend's baby for an hour while she goes to an important meeting ... oh, and 2 birthday parties, 1 housewarming party, the opera, and an errand downtown relating to a store credit that's about to expire ... plus all my usual work for the week. Whee.
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