I just finished pumping and I don't need to wake the baby and feed her again until 3 am, so this is my long break of the day. And why aren't I asleep? Because I am sitting her composing a letter in my head to Dr. R- at the GD clinic.
It's pretty much a joke that each of my GD appointments cost my insurance over $600, and I managed to ring up a $900 bill while in labor having my regular NST and BPP before being admitted to the hospital (from 12 feet down the hall - actually in sight of the room I delivered in ... but that's part of the birth story I have yet to post). However, I realized that as a result I won't be able to have a follow-up appointment at the GD clinic and resolve these issues face to face.
So here, in short, is what I want to know: Even when you (i.e. Dr. R.) admitted I probably didn't have GD and the residents twice tried to release me from the clinic, why did no one think that such a restrictive diet might just starve my daughter in utero? Both JD and I were over 9 lbs and everyone else in my family has had enormous babies. Do you think that my over-zealous following of your GD diet hurt my daughter? And why didn't we even discuss that possibility along the way?
We have another weigh-in at 8 am tomorrow morning. I am still hoping for good news. Of course, I can also still feel all of my daughter's ribs and her sternum poking out of her chest. And see the empty old-woman folds of skin on her arms. Off to bed, or at least to the couch since I have started to get panic attacks when I go to sleep that I will sleep through the next feeding.
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