It's the little things that I keep forgetting ... like the fact that when you have a cold your body is already under stress and working extra-hard and thus it really can't figure out how to process carbs. My blood sugar readings have been high for the past 2 days straight. And it was even worse because I was at JD's parents.
As I'm sure you can tell from my last post, JD's parents pamper us to an extreme. And they have been nothing but warm and loving in welcoming me into their family. But ... I'm so used to my family where everyone understands the basics of nutrition and pregnancy and diabetes ... and it's so hard to have to repeatedly defend why I can't eat all sorts of delicious food (yes, I know my MIL ate sushi during pregnancy and it all worked out for the best. But it's just not worth the risk for me at this point, especially when I have absolutely no idea where it came from or how long it had been unrefigerated ...). I actually went to the supermarket with my MIL on Thursday morning to get some low-carb food, but she was pretty horrified that I kept buying things 'they already had in the house.' Even when I showed her that her yogurt has 35 grams of carbs and mine only has 16 grams per serving, she didn't really get it. Nor does she understand how bread can be counted as a sugar, let alone delicious steaming dumplings ...
JD's father twice referred to my post-prandial blood draws as 'permission to eat more food or not' and I really exercised self-control in not snapping "Just trying to keep your granddaughter alive for another couple of weeks." It didn't help that it's getting cold in NY and while it's easy to make up an excuse for a walk in the city, there is nowhere at all reasonable to walk in the cookie cutter subdivisions of Long Island. Thus, JD took me on rather a large numebr of forced marches around his parent's gated community, which just happens to only have .25 miles of sidewalk in it, so round and round and round we went while his parents watched from the living room and expressed their disapproval of me being out in the cold and bafflement at why exactly I needed to take a walk.
JD's mother is still talking about picking me up from the hospital and taking me out to her place to rest after I give birth. I've basically dropped out of the conversation. If JD hasn't just told his mother it's not happening by this point, I guess she'll find out afterwards. I even told my mother on the phone yesterday that we are not planning to call her when I go into labor, even though she has a 10 hour drive to get up here. I want it to be just JD and me, and we'll notify people as we're ready to talk to them and possibly see them (and yes, I understand that is as self-centered as can be, but oh well).
Anyway, back in the city and planning to spend the evening recovering in bed.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
I predict far more of this obsessiveness in the next month ...
Like any first-time pregnant, highly obsessive women I was a bit worried about the 'general feeling of malaise' on Wednesday and my exhaustion and it made me a bit stressed about the whole idea of just maybe being enroute to labor (nevermind the NST that showed no contractions at 9:30 am ...) ... of course, the far more logical conclusion turns out to be the more accurate one: I was coming down with a bad head cold. No wonder I felt tired and stressed and told the midwife twice that I had only paged her 'because I felt too overwhelmed to decide whether this was actually important.' Me. Who rarely feels too overwhelmed to jump feet first into whatever random choice I have just made.
Oh, and while we were on the train to my in-laws JD called up to tell them what time to pick us up and to order his favorite dinner. And since I can't eat that late at night because of my fasting blood draw, I ordered up a large humidifier -full and set on high, please- in our bedroom (did I mention how much they pamper us?). So clearly in the back of my mind I must have been aware that I might just be getting sick.
Anyway, Thanksgiving was lovely. JD's cousins came. I ate all sorts of delicious food (spicy meatballs, spicy tofu, spicy deep fried fish ... a pattern here?). I made 2 desserts in record time and managed to have 2 bites of each without spiking my blood sugar all that much. And there was all the usual but always unpredicatable entertainment. This year one of JD's aunts brought along a Chinese salsa dance instructor with the most incredible toupe who just happened to have taken professional cooking lessions in Beijing and spent 3 hours in the kitchen doing made-for-TV cooking faces for me and explaining in detail how I (who have kept strictly kosher since age 11) could prepare my very own shrimp and pork legs. In Chinese, of course. You just can't make this stuff up.
And because JD and I were both shooed out of the kitchen repeatedly we landed up taking 2 mid-afternoon naps (the guests here tend to arrive around 10 am and stay till 10 pm so this isn't quite as rude as it sounds, although we would clearly never get away with it at my parents ...) and since we were wide awake at 11 pm, we decided to go out shopping. And I think either my baby has grown significantly or she really is just 100% nocturnal because she basically kicked non-stop from 12:30 am to 3:30 am, despite the immense amount of walking we did around the Long Island outlets. Which would have been lovely and all if it weren't for the awful lines at every bathroom at the outlets. But JD bought some very cute work ties and I bought 2 outfits for baby, and we went home at about 3:30 am very content and not too much poorer.
Oh, and while we were on the train to my in-laws JD called up to tell them what time to pick us up and to order his favorite dinner. And since I can't eat that late at night because of my fasting blood draw, I ordered up a large humidifier -full and set on high, please- in our bedroom (did I mention how much they pamper us?). So clearly in the back of my mind I must have been aware that I might just be getting sick.
Anyway, Thanksgiving was lovely. JD's cousins came. I ate all sorts of delicious food (spicy meatballs, spicy tofu, spicy deep fried fish ... a pattern here?). I made 2 desserts in record time and managed to have 2 bites of each without spiking my blood sugar all that much. And there was all the usual but always unpredicatable entertainment. This year one of JD's aunts brought along a Chinese salsa dance instructor with the most incredible toupe who just happened to have taken professional cooking lessions in Beijing and spent 3 hours in the kitchen doing made-for-TV cooking faces for me and explaining in detail how I (who have kept strictly kosher since age 11) could prepare my very own shrimp and pork legs. In Chinese, of course. You just can't make this stuff up.
And because JD and I were both shooed out of the kitchen repeatedly we landed up taking 2 mid-afternoon naps (the guests here tend to arrive around 10 am and stay till 10 pm so this isn't quite as rude as it sounds, although we would clearly never get away with it at my parents ...) and since we were wide awake at 11 pm, we decided to go out shopping. And I think either my baby has grown significantly or she really is just 100% nocturnal because she basically kicked non-stop from 12:30 am to 3:30 am, despite the immense amount of walking we did around the Long Island outlets. Which would have been lovely and all if it weren't for the awful lines at every bathroom at the outlets. But JD bought some very cute work ties and I bought 2 outfits for baby, and we went home at about 3:30 am very content and not too much poorer.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
We made it!
Feeling much, much better. Paged the midwife again from the train and all seems to be sorted out. And now to focus on being pampered and shopping for the next 2 days :-)
Still pissed
and definitely overreacting. I'm sure that my midwife will figure out some ob/gyn to see me and clear me for a 'natural' delivery. But she has ignored both of my pages today, and when I finally paged her partner she told me it was absurd that they wouldn't make an appointment for me and that she'd call them and get back to me. But that was hours ago and no call, and of course their office is closed now for the holiday.
I know I'm overreacting and one extra appointment is not that big a deal and someone will fit me in, but I am pissed. Pissed because I have a dinner Thursday night that I have been looking forward to for days, which I will probably not be able to make if I get an appointment on Thursday. Pissed that my time is worth absolutely nothing and that every specialist in the world can demand that I come in to see them just as much as they like and that I will be in non-compliance should I refuse. Even though this is all just 'precaution' and thus far there is not the slightest hint that anything is wrong with the baby. And really so much of this is wasted time. I was dopplered four times yesterday by four different doctors.
Pissed that every time I mention how much time I am spending in doctors appointments and how miserable it is to be hungry non-stop and to have to schedule my days around being someplace I can wash my hands and draw my blood 4-5 times a day, everyone feels the need to remind me 'just how lucky I am.' I know I'm lucky. I am incredibly, incredibly lucky to be pregnant. And obviously I will do whatever is necessary to have a healthy baby. We weren't sure this would ever happen and we're both still more than a bit amazed that it has. But that doesn't really recognize the incredible amount of stress this has put on me in my last month. I will spend at least 1/2 of every other day until I deliver running to doctors appointments and waiting in uncomfortable waiting rooms and being weighed and poked and evaluated. And of course I get stressed at every appointment. In fact, all of my blood sugar readings have been off today because I have been so stressed about whether to page the midwife about something that is clearly not an emergency and how to deal with this (and no, it's not what I've eaten because I have honestly had the exact same food as yesterday, meal for meal and snack for snack).
And of course, we might not have Thanksgiving this year. JD is still at work. We have a 2.5 hour trip out to his parents, and he thinks he might be able to get out of the office by 9 pm. And he might very well need to work Friday. Plus, since the car was junked we have to take the train out to his parents and it's sure to be a bit miserable late at night and possibly back at 6 or 7 am on Friday morning.
Hopefully my next post will at least be from my in-law's house.
I know I'm overreacting and one extra appointment is not that big a deal and someone will fit me in, but I am pissed. Pissed because I have a dinner Thursday night that I have been looking forward to for days, which I will probably not be able to make if I get an appointment on Thursday. Pissed that my time is worth absolutely nothing and that every specialist in the world can demand that I come in to see them just as much as they like and that I will be in non-compliance should I refuse. Even though this is all just 'precaution' and thus far there is not the slightest hint that anything is wrong with the baby. And really so much of this is wasted time. I was dopplered four times yesterday by four different doctors.
Pissed that every time I mention how much time I am spending in doctors appointments and how miserable it is to be hungry non-stop and to have to schedule my days around being someplace I can wash my hands and draw my blood 4-5 times a day, everyone feels the need to remind me 'just how lucky I am.' I know I'm lucky. I am incredibly, incredibly lucky to be pregnant. And obviously I will do whatever is necessary to have a healthy baby. We weren't sure this would ever happen and we're both still more than a bit amazed that it has. But that doesn't really recognize the incredible amount of stress this has put on me in my last month. I will spend at least 1/2 of every other day until I deliver running to doctors appointments and waiting in uncomfortable waiting rooms and being weighed and poked and evaluated. And of course I get stressed at every appointment. In fact, all of my blood sugar readings have been off today because I have been so stressed about whether to page the midwife about something that is clearly not an emergency and how to deal with this (and no, it's not what I've eaten because I have honestly had the exact same food as yesterday, meal for meal and snack for snack).
And of course, we might not have Thanksgiving this year. JD is still at work. We have a 2.5 hour trip out to his parents, and he thinks he might be able to get out of the office by 9 pm. And he might very well need to work Friday. Plus, since the car was junked we have to take the train out to his parents and it's sure to be a bit miserable late at night and possibly back at 6 or 7 am on Friday morning.
Hopefully my next post will at least be from my in-law's house.
Going crazy
It's 9 am. I was up till midnight working since I spent all of yesterday morning and evening in appointments. And I just tried to schedule the last of them. Apparently because I am now 'high risk' I need an ob/gyn to look over my chart and clear me for a midwife delivery. Apparently the GD clinic's note is not sufficient. And I found this out at 7 pm yesterday night. And the ob/gyn is booked until my due date ...
I whined/I cried/I told the poor receptionist exactly how much I was going through and that I needed an appointment. She agreed to 'let me come wait' next week and I can see the doctor if there is a no-show. She told me to expect to spend 5 hours waiting. Of course, the only afternoon the doctor sees patients also necessitates rescheduling 2 other appointments. I just have not been through all of this to fall through a legal liability crack at this point. I have already left a message for the midwife this morning. I'm starting to think I may actually need to put in for short-term disability with my university on the grounds that I actually don't have enough time to work this month ... all of this of course while feeling totally fine and walking several miles a day and running at least 10 flights of stairs ... totally absurd.
Ok, since I can't end yet another post whining about how awful it is to feel healthy but spend all day in doctor's offices, things I'm excited about for Thanksgiving:
- Kosher Chinese food!
- Shopping for bedside table lamps
- Seeing JD's cousins
- Sleeping in
- Foot massages (JD promised)
ps - And Rachel actually defended I wasn't whiny in a comment last week ...
I whined/I cried/I told the poor receptionist exactly how much I was going through and that I needed an appointment. She agreed to 'let me come wait' next week and I can see the doctor if there is a no-show. She told me to expect to spend 5 hours waiting. Of course, the only afternoon the doctor sees patients also necessitates rescheduling 2 other appointments. I just have not been through all of this to fall through a legal liability crack at this point. I have already left a message for the midwife this morning. I'm starting to think I may actually need to put in for short-term disability with my university on the grounds that I actually don't have enough time to work this month ... all of this of course while feeling totally fine and walking several miles a day and running at least 10 flights of stairs ... totally absurd.
Ok, since I can't end yet another post whining about how awful it is to feel healthy but spend all day in doctor's offices, things I'm excited about for Thanksgiving:
- Kosher Chinese food!
- Shopping for bedside table lamps
- Seeing JD's cousins
- Sleeping in
- Foot massages (JD promised)
ps - And Rachel actually defended I wasn't whiny in a comment last week ...
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Make that six
appointments next week. Six. And I'm supposed to be 'getting ahead' with my work since I at most will have 4 weeks leave.
At least I hired a nanny today (in fact it was a done deal before we'd even talked, but still nice to spend some time talking to her. She's been working for a good friend 3 days a week for the past 6 months and wants to go to full time. I'm picking up her extra 2 days and 2 hours on another afternoon). I should have 18 hours of childcare per week in NYC from Feb. 1 to the end of May. I wonder if I'm spending 18 hours a week nowadays commuting to and waiting for doctor's appointments ... well, at least 12.
At least I hired a nanny today (in fact it was a done deal before we'd even talked, but still nice to spend some time talking to her. She's been working for a good friend 3 days a week for the past 6 months and wants to go to full time. I'm picking up her extra 2 days and 2 hours on another afternoon). I should have 18 hours of childcare per week in NYC from Feb. 1 to the end of May. I wonder if I'm spending 18 hours a week nowadays commuting to and waiting for doctor's appointments ... well, at least 12.
You've got to laugh - add one more thing to the pile
Well, my mother seems to be on a mission to make sure we donate our cord blood. She works in a field related to this and is a big advocate for organ donation, etc. so she seems to have done all the calling around and I just got a phone call from a donation place with 'a few questions for me' and the paperwork is apparently already in the mail.
I'm really glad my mother took care of this because I'm happy to do it but it honestly wasn't at the top of my list given everything else going on. And apparently the cord blood from biracial children is in particular demand, so it's nice that we actually have something potentially useful to offer to another family after everything that's been done for us along the way. I'm already on the bone marrow donor registry and JD has promised to sign up when they're next in the neighborhood, so hopefully our daughter will be able to help out at some point in the future too.
I'm really glad my mother took care of this because I'm happy to do it but it honestly wasn't at the top of my list given everything else going on. And apparently the cord blood from biracial children is in particular demand, so it's nice that we actually have something potentially useful to offer to another family after everything that's been done for us along the way. I'm already on the bone marrow donor registry and JD has promised to sign up when they're next in the neighborhood, so hopefully our daughter will be able to help out at some point in the future too.
36.5 Weeks
All 3 appointments this morning went well. In fact, astoundingly well. It turns out that 2 liters of ice cold water will make even a very, very sleepy baby pass her NST (or maybe it was just all my wiggling as I tried not to pee in their nice chair that got us through the test).
Of course, there were the minor annoyances. Like having my growth scan in a -hallway.- Obviously no second monitor there so I couldn't even see the results. But baby is apparently still head down and 65th percentile for size. Already 6.5 lbs ...
And my NST was in a room with another woman who had twins. She was behind a curtain so I couldn't actually see her annoyance, but I certainly would have been boiling as the techs exclaimed over just how easy it is to do a NST when it's just a singleton. And the poor woman had clearly been on the monitors for a long time too.
I am 99% within the target range for my GD (realizing of course the 3 times I deliberately didn't check my blood sugar) and have gained, well, no weight. If you want to know how a woman with a 'normal BMI' manages to gain exactly 24 lbs during pregnancy let me answer: she's miserable. At least my stomach cooperated by growling loudly at the doctor multiple times during the dopplering (after an ultrasound and NST it did seem a bit unecessary).
The only bad news is I'm on to bi-weekly NST's. I pleaded my way out of Friday's NST so that we can spend shabbos at JD's parents (not in NYC) but after that I'll be spending at least 3 hours (with the travel time, wait, time on the machine) at the hospital twice a week. Fun.
Now it's off to work, following by interviewing our nanny for the spring and then a late evening appointment with the midwife. How am I ever going to keep up with my work with this many appointments every week? Let's see, starting next Monday I'll have:
- 2 NST
- 1 growth scan
- 1 GD appointment
- and a midwife appointment every week.
Oh, and possibly acupuncture and my GI doctor.
Of course, there were the minor annoyances. Like having my growth scan in a -hallway.- Obviously no second monitor there so I couldn't even see the results. But baby is apparently still head down and 65th percentile for size. Already 6.5 lbs ...
And my NST was in a room with another woman who had twins. She was behind a curtain so I couldn't actually see her annoyance, but I certainly would have been boiling as the techs exclaimed over just how easy it is to do a NST when it's just a singleton. And the poor woman had clearly been on the monitors for a long time too.
I am 99% within the target range for my GD (realizing of course the 3 times I deliberately didn't check my blood sugar) and have gained, well, no weight. If you want to know how a woman with a 'normal BMI' manages to gain exactly 24 lbs during pregnancy let me answer: she's miserable. At least my stomach cooperated by growling loudly at the doctor multiple times during the dopplering (after an ultrasound and NST it did seem a bit unecessary).
The only bad news is I'm on to bi-weekly NST's. I pleaded my way out of Friday's NST so that we can spend shabbos at JD's parents (not in NYC) but after that I'll be spending at least 3 hours (with the travel time, wait, time on the machine) at the hospital twice a week. Fun.
Now it's off to work, following by interviewing our nanny for the spring and then a late evening appointment with the midwife. How am I ever going to keep up with my work with this many appointments every week? Let's see, starting next Monday I'll have:
- 2 NST
- 1 growth scan
- 1 GD appointment
- and a midwife appointment every week.
Oh, and possibly acupuncture and my GI doctor.
Monday, November 24, 2008
My insurance is absurd
So I made an acupuncture appointment today at the strong recommendation of my doula. Apparently acupuncture can be an effective way to induce labor 'naturally' but only if you've given the acupuncturist a chance to work on your body before. Makes sense, although I'll admit to being rather a huge skeptic given the claims on the (very highly recommended) acupuncturist's webpage that they can 'cure' certain types of infertility. 'Nuff said, I'll leave that be.
But, the first appointment is over $200 and each appointment thereafter is about $150 and they want to see you every week until your due date and then daily until you go into labor. Well beyond our means. So I called up my lovely insurance (Aetna, mind you, possibly the largest insurer in the U.S.) and the woman on the phone read the conditions for which acupuncture is covered, starting with Fibromyalgia (a rather vague clinical diagnosis) to chemo (no underlying causes needed apparently) and including only one pregnancy condition: severe nausea during pregnancy. So I just left the poor office a message to ask if they would consider billing this as 'nausea during pregnancy' rather than 'GD.' After all, I sometimes get so hungry as to feel nauseous - I'm not sure that's what the insurance is looking for, but it might just count ... Not that the insurance minds $605 per GD office visit at a GD clinic, even if they see me for less than 10 minutes and seem to be a bit baffled why I'm there in the first place ...
The good insurance news is that I got the PKU/Pediatrician visit insurance worked out. If the baby is born during the 10-day gap in her insurance, I can pay a pro-rated amount through my insurance from her birth until mid-January, at the fine rate of $6.61 per day. It doesn't sound too bad until we calculated it'll be a bit over $300 to cover those 10 days, after which she will be double or possibly triple insured and we won't file anymore with this insurance. But if necessary, it's another $300 we'll spend. Should my poor little girl ever get around to asking why she doesn't have a sibling, we'll have a ready and easy answer: we had a pile of money set aside for future RE/IVF expenses and it all got spent on 'normal' medical costs even though both of your parents are very well insured.
But, the first appointment is over $200 and each appointment thereafter is about $150 and they want to see you every week until your due date and then daily until you go into labor. Well beyond our means. So I called up my lovely insurance (Aetna, mind you, possibly the largest insurer in the U.S.) and the woman on the phone read the conditions for which acupuncture is covered, starting with Fibromyalgia (a rather vague clinical diagnosis) to chemo (no underlying causes needed apparently) and including only one pregnancy condition: severe nausea during pregnancy. So I just left the poor office a message to ask if they would consider billing this as 'nausea during pregnancy' rather than 'GD.' After all, I sometimes get so hungry as to feel nauseous - I'm not sure that's what the insurance is looking for, but it might just count ... Not that the insurance minds $605 per GD office visit at a GD clinic, even if they see me for less than 10 minutes and seem to be a bit baffled why I'm there in the first place ...
The good insurance news is that I got the PKU/Pediatrician visit insurance worked out. If the baby is born during the 10-day gap in her insurance, I can pay a pro-rated amount through my insurance from her birth until mid-January, at the fine rate of $6.61 per day. It doesn't sound too bad until we calculated it'll be a bit over $300 to cover those 10 days, after which she will be double or possibly triple insured and we won't file anymore with this insurance. But if necessary, it's another $300 we'll spend. Should my poor little girl ever get around to asking why she doesn't have a sibling, we'll have a ready and easy answer: we had a pile of money set aside for future RE/IVF expenses and it all got spent on 'normal' medical costs even though both of your parents are very well insured.
Further thoughts on GD
Patti (from Just One More) wrote in a comment that it probably would have been fine to splurge a little yesterday, and part of what makes me so mad about GD is that I am 100% sure she is right. There's no way that a few little sugar spikes could have any serious implications for me or the baby. The greatest risk from GD at this point is an oversized baby and given that I'm still losing weight and the baby is exactly on track to be an average 7.5 lb American baby, I don't think that's such a serious risk. After all, my midwife was fine with me waiting 3 weeks from the diagnosis to my first consult ...
So why am I so obsessive? Because of the awful power dynamic where the doctor who is supposed to be 'helping me manage my condition' is also the doctor who will sign on whether I am 'allowed to go into labor' or have a 'vaginal birth.' It's the worst conflict of interest for me. There are times when I obviously skip drawing my blood because I'm worried it might be high and if I have too many high numbers they'll flag my chart. But of course it would be far better healthwise to know if my blood sugar really did spike then to simply skip the reading, and it would let me make better choices in the future. It also does not help that this is a big GD clinic and I have yet to see the same person twice and nobody seems to remember exactly why I'm there (last time the resident told the doctor with the door wide open that my numbers were so good that I had managed to 'mask' the effects of the disease and should probably just be released. What she meant to say was that I am so obsessive that I had 'controlled' the disease, but the choice of words was pretty telling.) Since the clinic bills my insurance $605 per visit, I really wish I could at least see the same doctor more than once.
After a long discussion with the resident who wanted me released from the 'program' last appointment, I'm pretty sure that I don't actually have GD. What I have is pre-pregnancy pre-diabetes. On one hand, this is good because my numbers have actually improved during pregnancy. Of course, for the long term this is rather bad; it means that I'm well on my way to being a regular ol' diabetic who will have to exercise self-control everyday for the rest of my life starting sooner that I'd planned. But either way, I think I spend more time obsessing over how the clinic will 'judge' my readings and weight gain and the baby's growth then actually thinking about the real health issues. Oh well - this too will pass soon. I think I may put up a survey on exactly how much weight I can expect to gain in the 2 weeks post-partum. While everyone else is marveling at how easily the water weight comes off, I'm fully expecting to pack on the pounds with all my stockpiled desserts ...
If you have time, please click over to Patti's blog - she's having a bit of a rough week.
And while I'm thinking of random blog tidbits, I wanted to respond to a comment from Rachel at Just What I Always Wanted a few days ago (another fellow traveler and commuter). She wrote that she didn't mean to offend me by questioning one of our many crazy decisions, and I just wanted to write that I have yet to be offended by any comment on my blog and I am always so incredibly grateful that people are actually still reading my rants and whining. Thanks guys!
So why am I so obsessive? Because of the awful power dynamic where the doctor who is supposed to be 'helping me manage my condition' is also the doctor who will sign on whether I am 'allowed to go into labor' or have a 'vaginal birth.' It's the worst conflict of interest for me. There are times when I obviously skip drawing my blood because I'm worried it might be high and if I have too many high numbers they'll flag my chart. But of course it would be far better healthwise to know if my blood sugar really did spike then to simply skip the reading, and it would let me make better choices in the future. It also does not help that this is a big GD clinic and I have yet to see the same person twice and nobody seems to remember exactly why I'm there (last time the resident told the doctor with the door wide open that my numbers were so good that I had managed to 'mask' the effects of the disease and should probably just be released. What she meant to say was that I am so obsessive that I had 'controlled' the disease, but the choice of words was pretty telling.) Since the clinic bills my insurance $605 per visit, I really wish I could at least see the same doctor more than once.
After a long discussion with the resident who wanted me released from the 'program' last appointment, I'm pretty sure that I don't actually have GD. What I have is pre-pregnancy pre-diabetes. On one hand, this is good because my numbers have actually improved during pregnancy. Of course, for the long term this is rather bad; it means that I'm well on my way to being a regular ol' diabetic who will have to exercise self-control everyday for the rest of my life starting sooner that I'd planned. But either way, I think I spend more time obsessing over how the clinic will 'judge' my readings and weight gain and the baby's growth then actually thinking about the real health issues. Oh well - this too will pass soon. I think I may put up a survey on exactly how much weight I can expect to gain in the 2 weeks post-partum. While everyone else is marveling at how easily the water weight comes off, I'm fully expecting to pack on the pounds with all my stockpiled desserts ...
If you have time, please click over to Patti's blog - she's having a bit of a rough week.
And while I'm thinking of random blog tidbits, I wanted to respond to a comment from Rachel at Just What I Always Wanted a few days ago (another fellow traveler and commuter). She wrote that she didn't mean to offend me by questioning one of our many crazy decisions, and I just wanted to write that I have yet to be offended by any comment on my blog and I am always so incredibly grateful that people are actually still reading my rants and whining. Thanks guys!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Sugar fiend
Just saying that a woman with GD who is getting a bit sick of her diet and craving sugar in any form decides to throw a baby shower (we'll just say a baby shower and skip over the fact that it might just have been her baby shower ...). Well, the menu might look something like this (it was brunch today).
To start, the easy/casual bagels, cream cheese, and lox.
Cold wonton wrappers with curried eggs and hot wonton wrappers with artichokes
Very healthy blueberries
Less healthy cabbage salad with toasted almonds (too much sugar in the dressing I made)
Then some OJ and apple cider and prosecco. Plus chocolate liquor and coffee. All off limits to the host, obviously.
Then she starts to bake.
First, very healthy low carb blueberry muffins.
And then a few more thing she's craving. And suddenly you have a table that looks like this:
Chocolate cheesecake
Vanilla cupcakes with sugar frosting (far, far more than the total number of guests)
Carrot cupcakes brought by a friend at her request
Chocolate chip pumpkin bread (okay, three)
Rum cake (in an octopus mold - I won't claim maturity on this one, but at least I didn't try to swirl the cake batter with neon food coloring like last time. JD was most unimpressed with the last presentation, but I love Willi.ams Son.oma clearance holiday specials ...).
Don't worry, I only had 2 bites of sugary desserts today, but I packed away a whole tupperware of treats in the freezer for Jan. 1 ....
My neighbor who showed up with her 2 kids called later in the evening to ask me a question and commented on how tired I must be after the cooking and cleaning. But you know the best part about not having a baby yet? JD and I took a blissful two hour nap after the guests had left (more than 5 hours after the first guest arrived). And that is another perk of throwing your own baby shower at your very own apartment.
To start, the easy/casual bagels, cream cheese, and lox.
Cold wonton wrappers with curried eggs and hot wonton wrappers with artichokes
Very healthy blueberries
Less healthy cabbage salad with toasted almonds (too much sugar in the dressing I made)
Then some OJ and apple cider and prosecco. Plus chocolate liquor and coffee. All off limits to the host, obviously.
Then she starts to bake.
First, very healthy low carb blueberry muffins.
And then a few more thing she's craving. And suddenly you have a table that looks like this:
Chocolate cheesecake
Vanilla cupcakes with sugar frosting (far, far more than the total number of guests)
Carrot cupcakes brought by a friend at her request
Chocolate chip pumpkin bread (okay, three)
Rum cake (in an octopus mold - I won't claim maturity on this one, but at least I didn't try to swirl the cake batter with neon food coloring like last time. JD was most unimpressed with the last presentation, but I love Willi.ams Son.oma clearance holiday specials ...).
Don't worry, I only had 2 bites of sugary desserts today, but I packed away a whole tupperware of treats in the freezer for Jan. 1 ....
My neighbor who showed up with her 2 kids called later in the evening to ask me a question and commented on how tired I must be after the cooking and cleaning. But you know the best part about not having a baby yet? JD and I took a blissful two hour nap after the guests had left (more than 5 hours after the first guest arrived). And that is another perk of throwing your own baby shower at your very own apartment.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
More whining
I've caved, I'm just going to whine tonight. I don't really have a defense except it seems better to do it online where you can skip over it in 5 seconds than in person to my poor husband. And I already called and whined to my mother tonight. Plus, I do want to remember that I also got through this should I ever be lucky enough to experience this particular miraculous set of circumstances again.
To put it simply: I am hungry.
Really, really hungry. I can't seem to find anything I'm allowed to eat that makes me feel full, and nothing that makes me feel satisfied. I am craving anything spicy, a big hearty sandwich, the ice cream JD has been eating all week, chocolate, hot chocolate, mocha, cupcakes, pizza, anything baked .... basically the full list of things I'm not allowed to eat.
What have I been eating? Plain yogurt, mini whole wheat bagels, hard cheese, eggs, plain meat, tofu in low carb whole wheat wraps, cottage cheese, plain oatmeal once a day, no more than a 1 inch square piece of unsweetened dark chocolate once a day, nuts, protein bars, peanut butter, more nuts, blueberries, occasionally melon or half an apple ... and it's all so boring and bland.
I know, I'm incredibly lucky that thus far I have been able to control my GD with diet and exercise and that my lack of weight gain since the GD diagnosis seems to have staved off all of the other late pregnancy symptoms (very, very little back pain, no swelling - I'm still wearing my wedding band, still sleeping through the night about 1/2 the time ... ) so I'm sure if I wasn't complaining about this I'd be whining about all the other little distractions. I think that part of my frustration is that everyone expects me to eat endlessly, and I get so many comments about how 'lucky' I am to be able to eat whatever I want, when in fact you can hear my stomach growl at least once an hour if you're listening. I fully expect my weight to go up significantly post-partum. Hopefully my GD consult on Tuesday will at least earn me another signed letter clearing me for 7 more days to give birth 'naturally.' There is something also deeply disturbing in the power dynamic between my GD doctor and me, but that's another post for another time.
To put it simply: I am hungry.
Really, really hungry. I can't seem to find anything I'm allowed to eat that makes me feel full, and nothing that makes me feel satisfied. I am craving anything spicy, a big hearty sandwich, the ice cream JD has been eating all week, chocolate, hot chocolate, mocha, cupcakes, pizza, anything baked .... basically the full list of things I'm not allowed to eat.
What have I been eating? Plain yogurt, mini whole wheat bagels, hard cheese, eggs, plain meat, tofu in low carb whole wheat wraps, cottage cheese, plain oatmeal once a day, no more than a 1 inch square piece of unsweetened dark chocolate once a day, nuts, protein bars, peanut butter, more nuts, blueberries, occasionally melon or half an apple ... and it's all so boring and bland.
I know, I'm incredibly lucky that thus far I have been able to control my GD with diet and exercise and that my lack of weight gain since the GD diagnosis seems to have staved off all of the other late pregnancy symptoms (very, very little back pain, no swelling - I'm still wearing my wedding band, still sleeping through the night about 1/2 the time ... ) so I'm sure if I wasn't complaining about this I'd be whining about all the other little distractions. I think that part of my frustration is that everyone expects me to eat endlessly, and I get so many comments about how 'lucky' I am to be able to eat whatever I want, when in fact you can hear my stomach growl at least once an hour if you're listening. I fully expect my weight to go up significantly post-partum. Hopefully my GD consult on Tuesday will at least earn me another signed letter clearing me for 7 more days to give birth 'naturally.' There is something also deeply disturbing in the power dynamic between my GD doctor and me, but that's another post for another time.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Giving my husband the benefit of doubt
Yesterday night JD told me I 'really need to relax more.' It's possible that he was talking about my mini-temper tantrum about something he forgot to do in the apartment ... but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. To be precise, I took his admonishment as a suggestion to take the morning off from work and go shopping. And not for a shower curtain or mop or anything particularly practical at all. Of course, I do realize that we have some large expenses coming up in the next few weeks and I'm really not supposed to be spending money ... so instead I gathered together a whole stack of gift cards (most with under $10 left on them) and store credits and such and went to midtown. I love, love, love spending 'play money.' Even the $3 Starbucks gift card was well spent this morning. Sometimes a girl just needs to indulge.
And in other financial news, despite the raised eyebrows and strongly disapproving looks at our pediatrician meet and greet yesterday, I actually asked the cost of a well-visit and PKU testing. And it's not nearly as bad as I thought. Well-visits seem to run around $200, the PKU lab work is only around $20 (although no one's sure how many tests that covers, poor baby may get heel-stuck several times to get all the testing done) and another $50 for the pediatrician to adminster (which is apparently quite standard practice in NYC - so much for the hospitals being required to offer it). Plus, the Hep B vaccine will be covered by a program for uninsured children so that might just be free. Even if we land up needing the maximum number of visits during our insurance gap, we're looking at something like $500-$600 total, which is frustrating and annoying but also feasible.
Also entertaining at the meet and greet was watching all the other women guess exactly which sitcom the very attractive looking expectant father stars in. Me? Well, we don't own a TV so I had no idea he was a B-circuit actor. But I certainly appreciated his looks.
And in other financial news, despite the raised eyebrows and strongly disapproving looks at our pediatrician meet and greet yesterday, I actually asked the cost of a well-visit and PKU testing. And it's not nearly as bad as I thought. Well-visits seem to run around $200, the PKU lab work is only around $20 (although no one's sure how many tests that covers, poor baby may get heel-stuck several times to get all the testing done) and another $50 for the pediatrician to adminster (which is apparently quite standard practice in NYC - so much for the hospitals being required to offer it). Plus, the Hep B vaccine will be covered by a program for uninsured children so that might just be free. Even if we land up needing the maximum number of visits during our insurance gap, we're looking at something like $500-$600 total, which is frustrating and annoying but also feasible.
Also entertaining at the meet and greet was watching all the other women guess exactly which sitcom the very attractive looking expectant father stars in. Me? Well, we don't own a TV so I had no idea he was a B-circuit actor. But I certainly appreciated his looks.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
I think our handyman missed his true calling
He clearly wanted to be an ob/gyn, or maybe a doula. And not at all in the negative sense of unsolicited advice. He is, if anything, deeply reassuring.
Every time I run into him he asks me any number of questions. This morning I got:
- Are you feeling ok?
- Baby kicking everyday?
- Remembering to rest?
He really doesn't give advice, it's more like he feels the need to check in every day and see how my progress is going. Within the first 5 minutes I met him he had shown me photos of his 8 month old girl. And unlike everyone else who keeps telling me to 'take it easy' but then does nothing to make that feasible, he's actually quite helpful. Last time he was in the apartment he had to move the kitchen table to get to a broken radiator valve. Of course, there were dirty dishes on the table and as I was desperately scrambling to put them away, he told me I really should sit down and he'd take care of the dishes. Nice, eh?
Every time I run into him he asks me any number of questions. This morning I got:
- Are you feeling ok?
- Baby kicking everyday?
- Remembering to rest?
He really doesn't give advice, it's more like he feels the need to check in every day and see how my progress is going. Within the first 5 minutes I met him he had shown me photos of his 8 month old girl. And unlike everyone else who keeps telling me to 'take it easy' but then does nothing to make that feasible, he's actually quite helpful. Last time he was in the apartment he had to move the kitchen table to get to a broken radiator valve. Of course, there were dirty dishes on the table and as I was desperately scrambling to put them away, he told me I really should sit down and he'd take care of the dishes. Nice, eh?
Monday, November 17, 2008
Registry fun
I'll admit it, I might be a bit addicted to registries. After all, we just finished 'completing' our wedding registry items a few months ago and in fact one of our 2 wedding registries will be open until my due date (another great benefit of being due almost 6 months to the day after your wedding ...) and now people are actually buying us gifts off of our baby registries! I registered such a long time ago and had basically forgotten about them until last week when packages started to arrive. So much fun! I will of course admit to being embarrassed by our friend's generosity in such a short amount of time, but really, I'd far rather receive useful gifts than endless stacks of princess-themed pink newborn onesies.
When I registered we were still living in the mini-apartment, so I really tried to pare the list down to the bare minimum. And I also decided strategically to buy all the expensive items* I could used (i.e. the crib, strollers, rocking chair and diaper bag, we skipped a changing table but recently found a bureau on craigslist for $40 and bought a pad for the top of it) so that there was nothing too extravagant on the list. And after the activity this week, there are really only 2 big ticket items we will need to buy (the breast pump** and a high chair, which we won't need till May) and a few more cloth diapers and we're set! Of course, I'd love some extra sheets and cloth wipes and a few of the little luxury items I've registered for, but they're not things that we'll need to run out and buy anytime soon. All of this makes me very excited and thankful that even if my friends are more than a bit flaky sometimes, they do come through on certain things no matter what.
* I know everyone has different expectations. Just to clarify, I consider anything at or above $100 a big ticket item and unlikely to be purchased off a registry. I did receive both a new carseat and a crib mattress as gifts, which were most unexpected and delightful.
** After our breastfeeding class this weekend I think that I've been sold on the Me.de.la Fre.estyle rather than the Pump In Style. Sadly, there is a huge price difference, but given that I would ideal like to pump for up to 12 months and will need to keep freezer stashes in multiple cities and will start part-time daycare at 4 weeks, I think it's probably worth the upgrade.
When I registered we were still living in the mini-apartment, so I really tried to pare the list down to the bare minimum. And I also decided strategically to buy all the expensive items* I could used (i.e. the crib, strollers, rocking chair and diaper bag, we skipped a changing table but recently found a bureau on craigslist for $40 and bought a pad for the top of it) so that there was nothing too extravagant on the list. And after the activity this week, there are really only 2 big ticket items we will need to buy (the breast pump** and a high chair, which we won't need till May) and a few more cloth diapers and we're set! Of course, I'd love some extra sheets and cloth wipes and a few of the little luxury items I've registered for, but they're not things that we'll need to run out and buy anytime soon. All of this makes me very excited and thankful that even if my friends are more than a bit flaky sometimes, they do come through on certain things no matter what.
* I know everyone has different expectations. Just to clarify, I consider anything at or above $100 a big ticket item and unlikely to be purchased off a registry. I did receive both a new carseat and a crib mattress as gifts, which were most unexpected and delightful.
** After our breastfeeding class this weekend I think that I've been sold on the Me.de.la Fre.estyle rather than the Pump In Style. Sadly, there is a huge price difference, but given that I would ideal like to pump for up to 12 months and will need to keep freezer stashes in multiple cities and will start part-time daycare at 4 weeks, I think it's probably worth the upgrade.
This whole 'full term' thing
I'm having a bit of trouble wrapping my head around the idea of being 'full term' (don't worry, not there yet). I noticed over the weekend when I kept messing up how far along I am. Sometimes it's wishful thinking and I'm also 37 weeks, sometimes I'm back at the beginning of the third trimester. It's so weird to think that as of the weekend after Thanksgiving I will be 'full term' and I should be resting for labor and prepared at any moment to have a baby. And yet, I might still have 5 weeks to go (and that with an induction at 41 weeks, rather than waiting until 42 weeks). And even though I know the chance of a my NST's uncovering an emergency which would lead to an immediate delivery are very slim, it's a bit terrifying to be in the hospital on the same floor as L and D every week at 9 am ...
The childbirth class instructor spent a lot of time reminding us to rest and not go into labor exhausted. But I've never in my life tried to spend 4-5 weeks relaxing and taking it easy. How do you find a balance? And deal with the persistent questions (luckily mostly from family, but really how many times can my mother ask if I'd had any signs of labor? And this from a woman who claims she never had a braxton hicks contraction ...).
And just to totally play with my composure, yesterday I accidentally put on a non-maternity shirt and wore it out and about all day. My belly seems to be shrinking even as the baby continues to grow apace.
The childbirth class instructor spent a lot of time reminding us to rest and not go into labor exhausted. But I've never in my life tried to spend 4-5 weeks relaxing and taking it easy. How do you find a balance? And deal with the persistent questions (luckily mostly from family, but really how many times can my mother ask if I'd had any signs of labor? And this from a woman who claims she never had a braxton hicks contraction ...).
And just to totally play with my composure, yesterday I accidentally put on a non-maternity shirt and wore it out and about all day. My belly seems to be shrinking even as the baby continues to grow apace.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Sharp breath in
JD and I were talking about our schedules this week (I'm busy Monday-Wednesday night, he'll be working till 9 pm every night, then his parents come visit on shabbos and we have a baby shower on Sunday ... great) and the last midwife appointment he needs to come to and how I'd really like him at next week's NST since they make me so nervous ...
And JD looks directly at me and says "Why didn't we do all of this last year? We had so much more time. And we could already have a one-year old."
And I was left speechless. This on the day when we watched gory birth movies and JD lamented the endless pressure between work and spending time at home. For all that this was clearly 'my idea' sometimes I'm amazed by how much he gets it.
Update: Least you never again take my endless whining seriously, tonight, 2 hours prior to above conversation JD looked up from his computer to see his 35 week pregnant wife sitting on the kitchen floor scrubbing in her ill-fitting sleep bra and shorts and rather than immediately jumping up and offering to help he pronounced the situation "very sexy" and returned to his 'work' on the computer.
And JD looks directly at me and says "Why didn't we do all of this last year? We had so much more time. And we could already have a one-year old."
And I was left speechless. This on the day when we watched gory birth movies and JD lamented the endless pressure between work and spending time at home. For all that this was clearly 'my idea' sometimes I'm amazed by how much he gets it.
Update: Least you never again take my endless whining seriously, tonight, 2 hours prior to above conversation JD looked up from his computer to see his 35 week pregnant wife sitting on the kitchen floor scrubbing in her ill-fitting sleep bra and shorts and rather than immediately jumping up and offering to help he pronounced the situation "very sexy" and returned to his 'work' on the computer.
Tidbits
Not so much new this weekend. JD is still sick (and feverish). I now have a bad cold, but no fever yet. He's definitely still chasing me around the apartment ...
We finished up our 15 hours of childbirth classes and final 3 hours of breastfeeding class. The breastfeeding instructor was fabulous, but it was still targeted at SAHM's and pumping/work/schedule was covered very briefly. I need to buy a little cooler to transport breastmilk come Feb. 1 when I start commuting ...
JD was pretty hysterical after class. I was changing and he sat on the corner of the bed and gave my breasts a very thorough and scientific examination. And then pronounced his concern that they might just be a bit big for the wonderbaby ... cracked me up.
And now it's almost 9 pm and I'm waiting for the rabbi to call me. I have been putting off meeting with the rabbi to discuss our poor baby's naming, but it's time to get it over with. Without going into the details too much, we're in a bit of an odd dilemma because in a traditional synagogue the father announces the birth of a daughter and her name, but JD can't do that in our synagogue and I want to figure out what to do instead ... this should be as awkward and uncomfortable a conversation as can be given that this is not the rabbi who married us and he has only briefly met JD. I was going to scout out a back-up synagogue for the naming but I've just been too tired, and honestly too lazy to walk another mile or even half mile to services on Friday night. Hopefully I'll get this resolved tonight, or at least this week.
And finally, our doula was very insistent that we should consider acupuncture to help with a natural induction and GD. I'm a bit of a skeptic and not too thrilled about the whole needles aspect of acupuncture (there are plenty enough needles in my life as is) but I think I'll at least call this week. Any advice for me on getting psyched for acupuncture? Is this something that I need to have faith in/relax during for it to work? Any converted skeptics out there?
We finished up our 15 hours of childbirth classes and final 3 hours of breastfeeding class. The breastfeeding instructor was fabulous, but it was still targeted at SAHM's and pumping/work/schedule was covered very briefly. I need to buy a little cooler to transport breastmilk come Feb. 1 when I start commuting ...
JD was pretty hysterical after class. I was changing and he sat on the corner of the bed and gave my breasts a very thorough and scientific examination. And then pronounced his concern that they might just be a bit big for the wonderbaby ... cracked me up.
And now it's almost 9 pm and I'm waiting for the rabbi to call me. I have been putting off meeting with the rabbi to discuss our poor baby's naming, but it's time to get it over with. Without going into the details too much, we're in a bit of an odd dilemma because in a traditional synagogue the father announces the birth of a daughter and her name, but JD can't do that in our synagogue and I want to figure out what to do instead ... this should be as awkward and uncomfortable a conversation as can be given that this is not the rabbi who married us and he has only briefly met JD. I was going to scout out a back-up synagogue for the naming but I've just been too tired, and honestly too lazy to walk another mile or even half mile to services on Friday night. Hopefully I'll get this resolved tonight, or at least this week.
And finally, our doula was very insistent that we should consider acupuncture to help with a natural induction and GD. I'm a bit of a skeptic and not too thrilled about the whole needles aspect of acupuncture (there are plenty enough needles in my life as is) but I think I'll at least call this week. Any advice for me on getting psyched for acupuncture? Is this something that I need to have faith in/relax during for it to work? Any converted skeptics out there?
Saturday, November 15, 2008
A little explanation: 24 hours or less
Thank you all for your suggestions in response to our insurance gap. I really appreciate it.
I noticed several comments asking why I would be in the hospital for such a short stay. Quite simply, this is not that unusual for NYC. A standard stay is no more than 48 hours, and in order to give birth in the birthing center you have to agree to a release in as few as 6 hours after birth and not more than 24 hours. Honestly, I don't really mind and one of my main criteria in choosing a pediatrician was one who would release our newborn in less than 48 hours should I get moved to L and D because of complications.
Why?
Let's see:
- In regular L and D if you give birth after visiting hours your husband gets -1 hour- to stay with you and the baby. Then he is sent home till visiting hours the next morning at 10am. In the birthing center my husband will stay with me from the delivery until discharge.
- Oh, that also leaves you all alone with your baby immediately post-partum (I am not exaggerating. A friend gave birth at 11 pm and by midnight she was supposed to care for her baby in her hospital room and the nurses were too busy to help. All she wanted was someone to change the baby's diaper and hand the baby to her for the first 24 hours so she didn't have to keep getting out of bed ...)
- Ok, not quite alone: you'll be sharing a hospital room. So not only will you be up every 2 hours with your baby but also every 2 hours when your roommate's baby cries and for all that there are no visiting hours at night, they are continuous from 10 am to 8 pm so it's quite possible that you will have a roomful of your roomate's visitors -all day long.- In my 2 hospital tours I walked past 3 rooms with sick toddlers running around visiting their new siblings. Not so great for the other family.
- Yes, you can pay for a private room. At $750 -per night- that is well beyond our means.
- I have a million food restrictions between keeping kosher, GD, GI problems, etc. and I don't relish eating hospital food for 48 hours. The hospital does not have a fridge or microwave for patients to use, unlike the birthing center (and obviously they do have one for the nurses to use)
- Yes, our hospital has a nursery. They strongly discourage using it if you are breastfeeding. In fact, it's been empty every time I've been in the hospital (which is quite frequently nowadays).
- Everyone encourages sleeping near your baby for the first day or two, but the regular L and D has regular hospital beds. Yes, some people can manage to comfortably keep their baby in them - I don't see myself being one of them. The birthing center has queen-sized beds so you can rest with your baby and partner, or put the baby in a co-sleeper next to the bed.
- And for the record the 'birthing center' we hope to use is one floor away from L and D, so it takes under a minute for them to transfer you should any problems arise.
Honestly, I'm pretty happy about the idea of coming home a few hours after birth. Sure, the cab ride will suck but after that I'll be able to just relax and JD can help with the baby for the first 48 hours or so ('till he goes back to work - such fun). No need to worry about roommates or germs or being woken up on the hospital's schedule or someone formula-feeding the baby when I'm not looking.
And please, please, please don't recommend switching midwives or hospitals. It shows absolutely no recognition of what medical practice and liability are like in NYC. When I tried to find a midwife or ob/gyn at 11 weeks pregnant, I was put on 14 waitlists and told that at least 4 places had already closed their waitlists (feel free to look in my archives -there are several panicked posts about it). NYC is massively understaffed for ob/gyns and it is 100% not an option to switch doctors or hospitals (my midwife only delivers at this hospital, and it's quite famous for being nicer to post-partum women. It really is one of the sheesiest hospitals in the city). I was seriously told that I might have to go to the ER to deliver by several exclusive clinics which book up when women are 4-6 weeks pregnant.*
But of course there is this little issue that the birthing center makes you sign a waiver that they will not do PKU testing and you must agree to have it done within 5 days of birth at your pediatrician's ... still working on that one.
* And I'm pretty sure that ob/gyns are full in most parts of the U.S. I didn't want to burn any bridges until I left City X so I never actually told my ob/gyn that I was leaving. I thought I'd remember to call after I left, but I didn't. And they never, ever contacted me via phone or mail to ask why I stopped showing up. Makes me think they have enough patients without my business.
I noticed several comments asking why I would be in the hospital for such a short stay. Quite simply, this is not that unusual for NYC. A standard stay is no more than 48 hours, and in order to give birth in the birthing center you have to agree to a release in as few as 6 hours after birth and not more than 24 hours. Honestly, I don't really mind and one of my main criteria in choosing a pediatrician was one who would release our newborn in less than 48 hours should I get moved to L and D because of complications.
Why?
Let's see:
- In regular L and D if you give birth after visiting hours your husband gets -1 hour- to stay with you and the baby. Then he is sent home till visiting hours the next morning at 10am. In the birthing center my husband will stay with me from the delivery until discharge.
- Oh, that also leaves you all alone with your baby immediately post-partum (I am not exaggerating. A friend gave birth at 11 pm and by midnight she was supposed to care for her baby in her hospital room and the nurses were too busy to help. All she wanted was someone to change the baby's diaper and hand the baby to her for the first 24 hours so she didn't have to keep getting out of bed ...)
- Ok, not quite alone: you'll be sharing a hospital room. So not only will you be up every 2 hours with your baby but also every 2 hours when your roommate's baby cries and for all that there are no visiting hours at night, they are continuous from 10 am to 8 pm so it's quite possible that you will have a roomful of your roomate's visitors -all day long.- In my 2 hospital tours I walked past 3 rooms with sick toddlers running around visiting their new siblings. Not so great for the other family.
- Yes, you can pay for a private room. At $750 -per night- that is well beyond our means.
- I have a million food restrictions between keeping kosher, GD, GI problems, etc. and I don't relish eating hospital food for 48 hours. The hospital does not have a fridge or microwave for patients to use, unlike the birthing center (and obviously they do have one for the nurses to use)
- Yes, our hospital has a nursery. They strongly discourage using it if you are breastfeeding. In fact, it's been empty every time I've been in the hospital (which is quite frequently nowadays).
- Everyone encourages sleeping near your baby for the first day or two, but the regular L and D has regular hospital beds. Yes, some people can manage to comfortably keep their baby in them - I don't see myself being one of them. The birthing center has queen-sized beds so you can rest with your baby and partner, or put the baby in a co-sleeper next to the bed.
- And for the record the 'birthing center' we hope to use is one floor away from L and D, so it takes under a minute for them to transfer you should any problems arise.
Honestly, I'm pretty happy about the idea of coming home a few hours after birth. Sure, the cab ride will suck but after that I'll be able to just relax and JD can help with the baby for the first 48 hours or so ('till he goes back to work - such fun). No need to worry about roommates or germs or being woken up on the hospital's schedule or someone formula-feeding the baby when I'm not looking.
And please, please, please don't recommend switching midwives or hospitals. It shows absolutely no recognition of what medical practice and liability are like in NYC. When I tried to find a midwife or ob/gyn at 11 weeks pregnant, I was put on 14 waitlists and told that at least 4 places had already closed their waitlists (feel free to look in my archives -there are several panicked posts about it). NYC is massively understaffed for ob/gyns and it is 100% not an option to switch doctors or hospitals (my midwife only delivers at this hospital, and it's quite famous for being nicer to post-partum women. It really is one of the sheesiest hospitals in the city). I was seriously told that I might have to go to the ER to deliver by several exclusive clinics which book up when women are 4-6 weeks pregnant.*
But of course there is this little issue that the birthing center makes you sign a waiver that they will not do PKU testing and you must agree to have it done within 5 days of birth at your pediatrician's ... still working on that one.
* And I'm pretty sure that ob/gyns are full in most parts of the U.S. I didn't want to burn any bridges until I left City X so I never actually told my ob/gyn that I was leaving. I thought I'd remember to call after I left, but I didn't. And they never, ever contacted me via phone or mail to ask why I stopped showing up. Makes me think they have enough patients without my business.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Boiling with rage
I never thought American insurance was perfect. I have been the 'pro bono' case of a specialist in NYC for four years now because my comprehensive insurance (by A.e.tna, one of the largest insurers in the U.S.) does not cover the care I need. And of course, they don't cover infertility at all. But I thought that at least my insurance would cover basic care for an infant ...
Here's the basic problem: PKU testing is mandated by NY State. If you refuse it, child protection services will come to your apartment and try to take your child (I know you can refuse it in other states but you can't here). Fine. I'm all pro-testing. But PKU testing -cannot- be done within 24 hours of birth because the child's temperature is not yet sufficiently regulated. And I will be released from the hospital before my infant is 24 hours old. Which means that I need this testing done at my pediatrician's. Which is -not- covered by my insurance. My insurance covers injury/illness/conjenital defects which are treated in-patient during the first 31 days. I.e. they will only cover procedures done in the hospital.
First of all, I cannot find an estimate of the cost on google. Nobody seems to pay out of pocket for this. Second, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a lot if they run the full genetic panel, which is recommended. Because of the paperwork mess my infant will not have her own insurance (with full benefits) until at least 10 days after birth. Which leaves me wondering what everyone else does ... I really just hope this is some awful misinformation provided by either my hospital, insurance or pediatrician. But thus far all three are sticking to their guns on trying to pass responsibility off on the other.
oh, and A.et.na didn't exactly give me the warm fuzzies when they kindly recommended I try to have a C-section so I could have a longer hospital stay and thus have all the necessary procedures done to my poor baby inpatient ... one more fine argument for the scheduled c-section here in NYC.
Here's the basic problem: PKU testing is mandated by NY State. If you refuse it, child protection services will come to your apartment and try to take your child (I know you can refuse it in other states but you can't here). Fine. I'm all pro-testing. But PKU testing -cannot- be done within 24 hours of birth because the child's temperature is not yet sufficiently regulated. And I will be released from the hospital before my infant is 24 hours old. Which means that I need this testing done at my pediatrician's. Which is -not- covered by my insurance. My insurance covers injury/illness/conjenital defects which are treated in-patient during the first 31 days. I.e. they will only cover procedures done in the hospital.
First of all, I cannot find an estimate of the cost on google. Nobody seems to pay out of pocket for this. Second, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a lot if they run the full genetic panel, which is recommended. Because of the paperwork mess my infant will not have her own insurance (with full benefits) until at least 10 days after birth. Which leaves me wondering what everyone else does ... I really just hope this is some awful misinformation provided by either my hospital, insurance or pediatrician. But thus far all three are sticking to their guns on trying to pass responsibility off on the other.
oh, and A.et.na didn't exactly give me the warm fuzzies when they kindly recommended I try to have a C-section so I could have a longer hospital stay and thus have all the necessary procedures done to my poor baby inpatient ... one more fine argument for the scheduled c-section here in NYC.
Not so cute as a (sick) toddler
My husband is sick. He has a fever, sore throat, and the beginnings of a cold.
Yes, I am of course, deeply sympathetic. However, I'd prefer to emote that sympathy from a safe distance.
Except, that when my husband gets sick he wants to cuddle. He wants me to give him backrubs. He wants to share my water bottle. I am deeply paranoid of getting sick at this exact moment. I do however feel like this paranoia is partially justified by:
- my utter inability to take any of the cold medicene he is so liberally indulging in
- the immense amount of work I need to finish before Thanksgiving
- that slight risk that I might still be sick when I go into labor
- feeling a bit slow/out of breath anyway
Needless to say he is feeling terribly neglected at the moment, and I am feeling more than slightly peeved at him. I do hope he feels better soon ... for both of us.
Yes, I am of course, deeply sympathetic. However, I'd prefer to emote that sympathy from a safe distance.
Except, that when my husband gets sick he wants to cuddle. He wants me to give him backrubs. He wants to share my water bottle. I am deeply paranoid of getting sick at this exact moment. I do however feel like this paranoia is partially justified by:
- my utter inability to take any of the cold medicene he is so liberally indulging in
- the immense amount of work I need to finish before Thanksgiving
- that slight risk that I might still be sick when I go into labor
- feeling a bit slow/out of breath anyway
Needless to say he is feeling terribly neglected at the moment, and I am feeling more than slightly peeved at him. I do hope he feels better soon ... for both of us.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
This is really normal?
I know, I've had a basically symptom and complication-free pregnancy thus far (except for the dreaded GD and the sleepiest baby ever, but neither is particularly serious) and I'm not writing to complain, but just wondering ...
Is it really normal to get out of breath and feel like you're going to faint? I find that this has been happening for the past several days, mostly in the mornings. Dr. Google indicates it could either be the baby squashing my lungs or anemia, but I'm already on the maximum dose of iron. Any suggestions for how to deal with this? I am more than a bit nervous about fainting on the streets of NYC, and since I don't look all that pregnant people very rarely offer me a place to sit ...
And speaking of which, I have an event every evening next week and the week after. And a million deadlines before December 1st. Oh yeah, plus prepping for the spring. The great benefit of being a graduate student is that I can control my own schedule. The downside? No time off and no adjustments in my deadlines for 'the rest of my life.' Fun, eh?
Update: In response to Melissia's detailed questions, I tend to get dizzy and out of breath most often in the morning when walking around, but definitely not doing anything too intense. I'm sure it's not low blood sugar because I test my blood sugar pretty often and I've never had a low. I also drink at least a liter of water before leaving my apartment in the morning, so I doubt I'm dehydrated (and then I squirm all the way to my desk). My blood pressure has also always been normal, although I know GD puts me at much higher risk of pre-eclampsia. Also no headaches in weeks. I guess I'm a bit puzzled because it tends to be around the same time of day and not when I'm doing my most intense activities (usually running around late afternoon for me). I did mention it to my midwife, but she was as ever unconcerned and said it was probably just the baby squashing my lungs - but I'm not sure why that would only bother me at a specific time of day. She also assured me that first-time babies rarely 'drop' until right before labor, so I shouldn't expect any relief for weeks ...
Is it really normal to get out of breath and feel like you're going to faint? I find that this has been happening for the past several days, mostly in the mornings. Dr. Google indicates it could either be the baby squashing my lungs or anemia, but I'm already on the maximum dose of iron. Any suggestions for how to deal with this? I am more than a bit nervous about fainting on the streets of NYC, and since I don't look all that pregnant people very rarely offer me a place to sit ...
And speaking of which, I have an event every evening next week and the week after. And a million deadlines before December 1st. Oh yeah, plus prepping for the spring. The great benefit of being a graduate student is that I can control my own schedule. The downside? No time off and no adjustments in my deadlines for 'the rest of my life.' Fun, eh?
Update: In response to Melissia's detailed questions, I tend to get dizzy and out of breath most often in the morning when walking around, but definitely not doing anything too intense. I'm sure it's not low blood sugar because I test my blood sugar pretty often and I've never had a low. I also drink at least a liter of water before leaving my apartment in the morning, so I doubt I'm dehydrated (and then I squirm all the way to my desk). My blood pressure has also always been normal, although I know GD puts me at much higher risk of pre-eclampsia. Also no headaches in weeks. I guess I'm a bit puzzled because it tends to be around the same time of day and not when I'm doing my most intense activities (usually running around late afternoon for me). I did mention it to my midwife, but she was as ever unconcerned and said it was probably just the baby squashing my lungs - but I'm not sure why that would only bother me at a specific time of day. She also assured me that first-time babies rarely 'drop' until right before labor, so I shouldn't expect any relief for weeks ...
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Very pleased with my husband
I had a bit of frustrating day between waiting several hours for our radiators to be fixed (off! just turn them all off! I cannot stand another night in the sauna) to a super-flaky woman on craigslist (we need another bookshelf - only 3 boxes left to unpack) ...
and since JD couldn't quite fix those problems by the time he got home at 9 pm he decided to indulge me entirely and set up the crib. In our bedroom. Complete with mattress and sheets. And it looks fabulous (it's the Emil.y mini crib, found on craigslist).*
And despite my MIL's rather extreme skepticism about the need for 'organic' products for our baby (don't worry, the only thing I felt strongly about being organic was the crib mattress) she purchased not only an organic crib mattress but also two organic cotton sheets for us. So nice.
Ok, back to work. I need to finish something by midnight.
* Yes, I know it's a bit obsessive to do this sort of thing so early, but I wanted to.
and since JD couldn't quite fix those problems by the time he got home at 9 pm he decided to indulge me entirely and set up the crib. In our bedroom. Complete with mattress and sheets. And it looks fabulous (it's the Emil.y mini crib, found on craigslist).*
And despite my MIL's rather extreme skepticism about the need for 'organic' products for our baby (don't worry, the only thing I felt strongly about being organic was the crib mattress) she purchased not only an organic crib mattress but also two organic cotton sheets for us. So nice.
Ok, back to work. I need to finish something by midnight.
* Yes, I know it's a bit obsessive to do this sort of thing so early, but I wanted to.
Can't say I'm devastated
to find out that JD missed the registration deadline for spring classes. So no night classes until the fall (by which point I will be safely away in Europe).
And why do they have to repeat in every childbirth class that two of the signs of early labor are flu-like symptoms and diarrhea? Really? I feel like that's been my life every day this week, and it would be so much easier to just ignore if there weren't this lurking idea in the back of my head that this might just be it ... of course, with no other signs of the baby being in any way ready to come out at 34.5 weeks, I know this is just paranoia. And now that we have a crib mattress, carseat and doula, I'm guessing we're as ready as we're going to get.
In other news, my little casual baby shower brunch (hosted by a friend, but at my apartment) seems to have grown a bit. I just posted 28 invitations, albeit only 10 days in advance. Super-rude, I know, but everyone is local (and by local, at least 10 of the addresses were within 5 blocks of our place) and we've told almost everyone in person. We'll see how this goes.
And why do they have to repeat in every childbirth class that two of the signs of early labor are flu-like symptoms and diarrhea? Really? I feel like that's been my life every day this week, and it would be so much easier to just ignore if there weren't this lurking idea in the back of my head that this might just be it ... of course, with no other signs of the baby being in any way ready to come out at 34.5 weeks, I know this is just paranoia. And now that we have a crib mattress, carseat and doula, I'm guessing we're as ready as we're going to get.
In other news, my little casual baby shower brunch (hosted by a friend, but at my apartment) seems to have grown a bit. I just posted 28 invitations, albeit only 10 days in advance. Super-rude, I know, but everyone is local (and by local, at least 10 of the addresses were within 5 blocks of our place) and we've told almost everyone in person. We'll see how this goes.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
appointment overload
It was inevitable that I was going to accidentally miss an appointment given my current rather intense schedule of midwife visits, GD consults, ultrasounds, childbirth classes, etc. but why did it have to be the once a month pediatrician meet and greet? I know it's silly, but in order to be released 'early' from the hospital our pediatrician has to give the ok, and I want to talk to him about it in advance ... all of which could have been discussed yesterday night. Or sometime after my due date. Argh!!!
And why couldn't I have accidentally forgotten my GD consult today? Since they actually forgot to enter me into the computer and thus made me wait 2+ hours to be seen even though I had a signed slip from the receptionist with my appointment time on it ...
And why couldn't I have accidentally forgotten my GD consult today? Since they actually forgot to enter me into the computer and thus made me wait 2+ hours to be seen even though I had a signed slip from the receptionist with my appointment time on it ...
Monday, November 10, 2008
In which the absurdity of my life is highlighted yet again
JD started a new job last Monday. He had a week of orientation so today was his first full day in his division. It apparently started with a meeting with one of his bosses, who told him that 'there are a few classes we'd like you to take this spring if you want to stay in this division' (which he does). The guy then gave him what I presume was meant to be a sympathetic pep talk about how hard it will be to take classes in addition to working full time 'with a new wife and baby' and suggested he might consider switching foci.
I heard about this at about 8 pm when JD called from a bar. He was clearly more than a bit nervous about my response. But honestly and truly I just laughed. If JD and his boss somehow think that a couple of hours of night classes are going to make the difference between sanity and chaos in our lives, they have to be kidding. Between adjusting to a new baby, working a full-time job in addition to being a full-time graduate student, commuting to a city 4 hours away for said job, preparing to leave the country again in May ... really, I don't see this as our greatest challenge.
Needless to say, JD sounded much relieved that I do not plan to stomp my feet and insist that he switch divisions. And the two friends I bumped into tonight were both horrified that I had not 'stood up for myself.' But really, looking at the list above our life is just so out of control I don't see this as pushing us over the tipping point. We're long past said tipping point.
I heard about this at about 8 pm when JD called from a bar. He was clearly more than a bit nervous about my response. But honestly and truly I just laughed. If JD and his boss somehow think that a couple of hours of night classes are going to make the difference between sanity and chaos in our lives, they have to be kidding. Between adjusting to a new baby, working a full-time job in addition to being a full-time graduate student, commuting to a city 4 hours away for said job, preparing to leave the country again in May ... really, I don't see this as our greatest challenge.
Needless to say, JD sounded much relieved that I do not plan to stomp my feet and insist that he switch divisions. And the two friends I bumped into tonight were both horrified that I had not 'stood up for myself.' But really, looking at the list above our life is just so out of control I don't see this as pushing us over the tipping point. We're long past said tipping point.
Pure bliss
I feel like I've been a bit too whiny on my blog recently. Really, I'm doing fine. I just tend to turn to the internets (and my faithful readers) when I need support.
But 3 absolutely lovely things happened on Sunday:
1. I got a half hour massage from JD during our childbirth class.
2. We finally took our wedding photos to be framed.
3. I went with JD to buy coffee and convinced the poor, baffled high school kid serving us to give me 4 (exactly 4) dark-chocolate covered coffee beans. So delicious. Add those to my list of January binge foods.
Now if only I could finish my work for the day ...
But 3 absolutely lovely things happened on Sunday:
1. I got a half hour massage from JD during our childbirth class.
2. We finally took our wedding photos to be framed.
3. I went with JD to buy coffee and convinced the poor, baffled high school kid serving us to give me 4 (exactly 4) dark-chocolate covered coffee beans. So delicious. Add those to my list of January binge foods.
Now if only I could finish my work for the day ...
peanuts?
Did I just miss this? Is it really standard U.S. practice to tell pregnant women to avoid peanuts? Because I've discussed my diet with all 3 of the ob/gyns/midwives I've seen as well as my GI specialist and GD specialist (ah yes, a new fab 'medical team' as if it didn't take enough people to get me into this state ...) and everyone has recommended eating nuts as a healthy snack ...
And I eat a lot of tablespoons of peanut butter now that I'm trying to gain weight again. I find it the easiest way to add protein to a snack of apple slices or carrots when I'm out and about in the city.
Anyway, this is the article that made me think of it: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27596933/. It's another article pro-early exposure to nuts.
And I eat a lot of tablespoons of peanut butter now that I'm trying to gain weight again. I find it the easiest way to add protein to a snack of apple slices or carrots when I'm out and about in the city.
Anyway, this is the article that made me think of it: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27596933/. It's another article pro-early exposure to nuts.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Please, someone with a tasteful sense of humor
I need some help. Of the literary/creative/googling type. To be precise, I need help writing the text of our baby shower invites, which I probably need to send out Tuesday at the latest. Yes, I'm behind on everything this week ...
JD's good friend is hosting our shower. But it'll be at our apartment because it's in an easier location for people to get to. And I'll be posting the invites. I already bought clearance blank templates at Target, and they're super-cute but I can't find a decent wording online. We're having a casual, coed brunch on a Sunday - think bagels, lox and bloody marys for those who can consume those types of things and whole wheat blueberry muffins for me.
I don't want any of the following:
- A poem about how sweet babies are
- Anything in verse
- Anything mentioning 'Jack and Jill' even though it will be coed
JD wants to go with the totally boring 'Come help celebrate the arrival of Rachel and JD's baby ...' I want something slightly more creative. Any suggestions are much, much appreciated. Thanks!
JD's good friend is hosting our shower. But it'll be at our apartment because it's in an easier location for people to get to. And I'll be posting the invites. I already bought clearance blank templates at Target, and they're super-cute but I can't find a decent wording online. We're having a casual, coed brunch on a Sunday - think bagels, lox and bloody marys for those who can consume those types of things and whole wheat blueberry muffins for me.
I don't want any of the following:
- A poem about how sweet babies are
- Anything in verse
- Anything mentioning 'Jack and Jill' even though it will be coed
JD wants to go with the totally boring 'Come help celebrate the arrival of Rachel and JD's baby ...' I want something slightly more creative. Any suggestions are much, much appreciated. Thanks!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Venting, venting, venting
I am a bit peeved at my family at the moment. Not so much my parents, but more siblings and extended family. And really just the particularly vocal people. Such as the person who called tonight to tell me ... exactly how rude I am.
Now, in principal, I agree.
Thank you notes ought to be sent promptly and they ought to be sweet and heartfelt and handwritten. And that is precisely why mine are late. I just haven't had time. Between schoolwork (yes, I have more than ever now because I need to 'get ahead' pre-December), grant deadlines, moving on a couple of days notice, 3 doctors appointments a week, junking our car and trying to be a decently available wife, well ... my thank you notes are late. And I do feel guilty about it. But I am also annoyed at those people (definitely plural) who bothered to call and tell me I was rude. And awful as it sounds, they are for the most part the women in the family who never had children or got advanced degrees and seem to have no idea at all why I can't just spend an afternoon writing thank you notes. And really, I just want to tell them to piss off and that things will only be getting significantly worse in a few short weeks and if they are offended that I can't write punctual thank you notes then please don't send me presents. And yes, that goes for one particular sibling too (your guess who) who just doesn't get it that she can't just chose the date she wants to avoid. To start with, I'm busy. And commuting to another city every week. And leaving the country in a few weeks. And JD is busy too, so she cannot just buy plane tickets to visit without asking me, and no, I will not be visiting her on the Pacific Coast anytime this spring, I'm too busy and loathe to travel even more than necessary.
Ok, done venting. If you made it this far, you deserve a delightful little nugget about just how far things have fallen chez long-distance-infertility. The week that started with sending my husband off to his first day of work in his newly pressed suit and no socks ended when I totally forgot about daylight savings time and shabbos and in a total rush at 4:15 pm decided to serve my husband the following absolutely delicious and lovingly-prepared Friday night dinner: cold grilled cheese on whole wheat bread. Several hours cold, to be precise. In retrospect, I could have just called and told him to grab something on his way home from work, but well, I didn't think of that. And JD decided he 'just wasn't that hungry' after all and went to bed with no dinner at all ...
Now, in principal, I agree.
Thank you notes ought to be sent promptly and they ought to be sweet and heartfelt and handwritten. And that is precisely why mine are late. I just haven't had time. Between schoolwork (yes, I have more than ever now because I need to 'get ahead' pre-December), grant deadlines, moving on a couple of days notice, 3 doctors appointments a week, junking our car and trying to be a decently available wife, well ... my thank you notes are late. And I do feel guilty about it. But I am also annoyed at those people (definitely plural) who bothered to call and tell me I was rude. And awful as it sounds, they are for the most part the women in the family who never had children or got advanced degrees and seem to have no idea at all why I can't just spend an afternoon writing thank you notes. And really, I just want to tell them to piss off and that things will only be getting significantly worse in a few short weeks and if they are offended that I can't write punctual thank you notes then please don't send me presents. And yes, that goes for one particular sibling too (your guess who) who just doesn't get it that she can't just chose the date she wants to avoid. To start with, I'm busy. And commuting to another city every week. And leaving the country in a few weeks. And JD is busy too, so she cannot just buy plane tickets to visit without asking me, and no, I will not be visiting her on the Pacific Coast anytime this spring, I'm too busy and loathe to travel even more than necessary.
Ok, done venting. If you made it this far, you deserve a delightful little nugget about just how far things have fallen chez long-distance-infertility. The week that started with sending my husband off to his first day of work in his newly pressed suit and no socks ended when I totally forgot about daylight savings time and shabbos and in a total rush at 4:15 pm decided to serve my husband the following absolutely delicious and lovingly-prepared Friday night dinner: cold grilled cheese on whole wheat bread. Several hours cold, to be precise. In retrospect, I could have just called and told him to grab something on his way home from work, but well, I didn't think of that. And JD decided he 'just wasn't that hungry' after all and went to bed with no dinner at all ...
Friday, November 7, 2008
weird
It is becoming increasingly apparent that other people's bodies gain or lose weight by total calories in and total calories out. My body seems to exclusively count carbs. I am definitely still eating carbs, but no more than 3 servings at a meal and no more than 1 serving per snack. Which is to say that I lost another 6 lbs this week.
Maximum weight gain this pregnancy: 30 lbs.
Current weight gain: 19 lbs.
I am so relieved that I am monitoring my blood sugar and doing growth scans at this point. Thus far the baby continues to grow normally (and on track to be an exactly average-sized American baby). And I guess I really do look a bit small at this point because at 2 different social events in the past 2 days people were a bit incredulous that I was due in mid-December.
Next growth scan 10 days.
Maximum weight gain this pregnancy: 30 lbs.
Current weight gain: 19 lbs.
I am so relieved that I am monitoring my blood sugar and doing growth scans at this point. Thus far the baby continues to grow normally (and on track to be an exactly average-sized American baby). And I guess I really do look a bit small at this point because at 2 different social events in the past 2 days people were a bit incredulous that I was due in mid-December.
Next growth scan 10 days.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Sick
I'm sick. Not sure with exactly what. Definitely not a cold or the flu. But I feel weak and tired and ravenous. Ravenous is a clear sign I'm sick. It doesn't help that we had a fancy dinner at JD's job's expense last night which seriously skewed my blood sugar, so here I lie in bed with my stomach growling feeling way too weak to go out and buy anything I'm supposed to be eating .... (and yes, that means I haven't really unpacked the kitchen yet).
And yesterday I caved and bought a sleep nursing bra. Honestly, it was partly from looking at my mother's curves last weekend and partially from a few new stretch marks. And it is painful. I went to a specialty store and tried on about 5 and this is the only one which came close to fitting, but I think it's way, way too tight. I realize I need to buy a non-underwire nursing bra for the first 2-3 weeks, so any suggestions for a particularly curvy woman?*
*And please don't suggest mother.we.ar or br.ava.do. They just don't come in my size unless I pay to get them altered - i.e. buy an XXL and then get it cut down for my size 34 back, and I don't think I have time to do that.
And yesterday I caved and bought a sleep nursing bra. Honestly, it was partly from looking at my mother's curves last weekend and partially from a few new stretch marks. And it is painful. I went to a specialty store and tried on about 5 and this is the only one which came close to fitting, but I think it's way, way too tight. I realize I need to buy a non-underwire nursing bra for the first 2-3 weeks, so any suggestions for a particularly curvy woman?*
*And please don't suggest mother.we.ar or br.ava.do. They just don't come in my size unless I pay to get them altered - i.e. buy an XXL and then get it cut down for my size 34 back, and I don't think I have time to do that.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Exhale (slowly)
I had an ultrasound yesterday and (apparently) all is well. The baby was as ever not moving and I was more than a bit panicked until they put up her heartbeat, which was normal. She is currently measuring 4lbs 11oz with plenty of fluid and only 1 day ahead of her due date. According to the doctor she's on schedule to be a 7-8 lb baby, should she arrive at full term.
I get a follow-up growth scan every 2 weeks from now on out. And I think we starts NST's in 2 weeks and do those at least every 2 weeks but probably every week. In addition I see the GD doctor every 2 weeks and my midwife every week. Should be busy. For the moment, I'm still cleared for a vaginal delivery.
I had a major GD scare yesterday night. I had a reasonable salad and mini whole wheat bagel for dinner and then drew my blood and it was off the charts high. I panicked. Took it 4 more times and it was still high but all over the place. I told JD I might want to go to the ER and have them test me. He did not look thrilled, sat watching me panic for a few minutes, and then very mildly asked: 'Isn't this a new box of strips? Could they be bad?' Well, wouldn't you know it the pharmacy gave me a long-expired box of strips and when I found other strips, all was normal again. So incredibly annoying.
And now a question for my loyal readers: We had our first real childbirth class on Sunday. It was fine, nothing I didn't know already. I'm pretty sure that one of the other couples were also IF patients (She used every code word in the book 'I'm 39' 'Long-awaited' 'We weren't sure we'd ever have a baby' 'We feel so blessed to be pregnant' and clearly wanted to talk to me after class but we had to run). Well, as you might guess, I'm not one for such nuanced statements. I started our introduction with "We are infertility patients and thus far pregnancy has been much, much easier than getting pregnant ..." So here's the question - about 10 minutes into the first birth video JD turns to me and says 'I'm going to faint. I don't think I can be your support person.' And I really think he means it. He doesn't like doctors or needles or blood and he's very queasy in those situations (not that I don't make him prep all my shots, but I did the actual shots myself. He also changes the lancets for my blood draws, but I always draw the blood myself). I didn't think we needed a doula since we'll have a midwife with us the entire time we're in the hospital (it's a hospital requirement for a midwife birth) and I really don't want a crowd when I'm in labor, but now I'm thinking that we should hire one if it will make JD less nervous. Thoughts?
And for the record, my biggest objection is just the cost. It seems silly to spend over a thousand dollars on my 'comfort' for a period of 24 hours, when we'll have a hands-on midwife with us. There are so many other things we could do with the money this year, and then the little fact that I'll feel like such a fool if we have a midwife and a doula prepping me for a C-section should it come to that ...
(oh, and because we're obsessive we already asked the woman teaching the childbirth class if she's available for my due date and she is and is not totally exorbitant and I really like her attitude - not too crunchy for me)
I get a follow-up growth scan every 2 weeks from now on out. And I think we starts NST's in 2 weeks and do those at least every 2 weeks but probably every week. In addition I see the GD doctor every 2 weeks and my midwife every week. Should be busy. For the moment, I'm still cleared for a vaginal delivery.
I had a major GD scare yesterday night. I had a reasonable salad and mini whole wheat bagel for dinner and then drew my blood and it was off the charts high. I panicked. Took it 4 more times and it was still high but all over the place. I told JD I might want to go to the ER and have them test me. He did not look thrilled, sat watching me panic for a few minutes, and then very mildly asked: 'Isn't this a new box of strips? Could they be bad?' Well, wouldn't you know it the pharmacy gave me a long-expired box of strips and when I found other strips, all was normal again. So incredibly annoying.
And now a question for my loyal readers: We had our first real childbirth class on Sunday. It was fine, nothing I didn't know already. I'm pretty sure that one of the other couples were also IF patients (She used every code word in the book 'I'm 39' 'Long-awaited' 'We weren't sure we'd ever have a baby' 'We feel so blessed to be pregnant' and clearly wanted to talk to me after class but we had to run). Well, as you might guess, I'm not one for such nuanced statements. I started our introduction with "We are infertility patients and thus far pregnancy has been much, much easier than getting pregnant ..." So here's the question - about 10 minutes into the first birth video JD turns to me and says 'I'm going to faint. I don't think I can be your support person.' And I really think he means it. He doesn't like doctors or needles or blood and he's very queasy in those situations (not that I don't make him prep all my shots, but I did the actual shots myself. He also changes the lancets for my blood draws, but I always draw the blood myself). I didn't think we needed a doula since we'll have a midwife with us the entire time we're in the hospital (it's a hospital requirement for a midwife birth) and I really don't want a crowd when I'm in labor, but now I'm thinking that we should hire one if it will make JD less nervous. Thoughts?
And for the record, my biggest objection is just the cost. It seems silly to spend over a thousand dollars on my 'comfort' for a period of 24 hours, when we'll have a hands-on midwife with us. There are so many other things we could do with the money this year, and then the little fact that I'll feel like such a fool if we have a midwife and a doula prepping me for a C-section should it come to that ...
(oh, and because we're obsessive we already asked the woman teaching the childbirth class if she's available for my due date and she is and is not totally exorbitant and I really like her attitude - not too crunchy for me)
Monday, November 3, 2008
Whoops
I do believe I just sent my husband off to his (big, important, NYC) new job without any socks on. Apparently I've been a bit more focused on unpacking my books and clothes and since I need him to help me lift stuff, we never got around to opening his boxes ... and he didn't mention anything till 5 minutes before he had to leave.
I would like to make him a nice dinner tonight, but I'm sure that's well beyond my capability for the day. Maybe ordering take-out will do?
Such a slacker wife.
I would like to make him a nice dinner tonight, but I'm sure that's well beyond my capability for the day. Maybe ordering take-out will do?
Such a slacker wife.
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