I called my mother yesterday night. I had even planned how I was going to tell her. Her birthday is right around my EDD, so I told her I had been thinking of a birthday present for her because she's a huge fan of her own birthday ... drumroll ... ta da!
And I didn't exactly get the response I was imagining. There was no 'Oh, wow.' Or, 'That's a miracle given your history.' Or even, 'I'm so excited.'
Instead I got: "Well, at least we know you can get pregnant."
It's a good thing I waited until after the first scan, I guess. I told her that I have another scan in 2 weeks and if we can see the heartbeat there than odds are about 98% that we'll be ok. And she said "I'll keep my fingers crossed" and went to get my stepfather.
I know that my sister's experience with IF was really hard for my mom, and she was really involved, even going out to CA for a number of the surgeries to take care of my sister, but I still wasn't quite expecting this response. Maybe I should have just told her in an e-mail? Or I guess waited until I saw her in person (by which point it would have been my wedding shower and I would have been something like 10 weeks along).
I kind-of figured that there would at least be an e-mail this morning. But not yet. And honestly, I was really hoping for the offer of a care package. I'm about to run out of sugar-free jam (for my morning yogurt) and I have a very strong preference for American deodorant. If I asked my mom, she'd know exactly what I wanted. If I ask JD, I'll have to take photographs and send them to him.
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4 comments:
Oh, I'm sorry it didn't go like you wanted it to. I'm sure she's cautiously optimistic and also a bit concerned about your sister's reaction. Last year my sister-in-law and I got pregnant within a week or each other but mine was ectopic; it was very difficult for my parents. They insisted no one tell me for quite some time but I only think that made it more difficult for everyone. They had the burden of the "secret" and I was shattered they thought I wasn't emotionally capable of handling the news.
Still, I know you wanted a different reaction for your exciting news. They'll come around!
Oh, I know that disappointment really well. My family never quite reacts to news the way I expect, and they don't know enough to take their cues from me. I'm sorry it was disappointing, and I do hope she can get excited soon.
And I hope you get your jam!
I feel ya. Parents and in-laws responses are not what we hope for nor expect are they?
My mother is excited for me, but her communication skills are crap.
I'm excited for you!
Well...as you said, she may have reason to be guarded. It's hard for many of us, who have experienced losses ourselves or vicariously thru family, to let our hearts sing out for joy.
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