A glutton for punishment

but never fear, not a martyr. Since the internet seems to be working a little better tonight I have sent e-mails to 2 pregnant friends. And both politely inquired about their bellies. But at least neither has my phone number here so I can always wait to read their e-mails until I'm in the mood.

Final thoughts on J.Lo. Largely inspired by the most recent post at 'Isn't it pretty to think so?' (http://isntitprettytothinkso.typepad.com/isntitprettytothinkso/).* I don't actually know, but my guess is that J.Lo might be a Catholic. And that might explain her hesitancy to discuss using IVF (which I fully believe she did, for no better reason than this is a busy woman without financial constraints and we've all be told that IVF is the quickest and most likely route to a positive pg. test). And although the fact that she might have had to act against her religious principles or even just the guidelines she grew up with could make me more sympathetic to her, it doesn't. In fact, it just makes me angry.

I find it really hard to understand religious opposition to IF treatments, mostly because I find it inconsistent. If Catholics (and other groups, obviously) were opposed to all high-tech medical treatments that in some way play with the divine plan, fine. Or if they refused life-saving fetal surgery because it was not part of the plan, fine. Or if they inquired about every drug they took whether it might possibly have come from embryonic research, fine. But it just seems to me incredibly gendered that the pope doesn't object to surgery for cancer or even cosmetic surgery (at least very strongly, he might do so on principle), but he does object to ART. I find it hard to trust the idea that celibate old men should be making reproductive decisions for any of my friends, and I fear that those decisions also implicate my health care (like the fact that there is no selective reduction within 5 hours of my clinic, even though my actions this cycle put me at high risk of needing it) and my insurance.

I've also been thinking about the responses to my post about fantasizing about somehow forgetting about the shots and u/s and last minute plane tickets and waking up one morning to realize I was pg. And I realized I should really try to change my attitude. IF treatments are not a dirty little secret to be locked away in the closet with a positive pee-stick. A much better attitude would be to say 'I did this. I put in the time and effort and patience and I won a battle against my health problems.' I would congratulate someone who said that about their weight loss or a battle with cancer, and I just need to put my own IF in the same category. It's the shame that keeps us from talking IRL, and that also contributes to so much mis-understanding.

*Please don't blame her for my opinions, it's just that when I wrote my response I realized that I really don't want to self-censor myself in order to avoid offending people. I will be respectful on your blogs, but I will write my opinions here. And if you scroll all the way back to my first post I gave a pretty good description of myself: very, very liberal, deeply religious, opinionated, a strong supporter of choice in all situations, and a feminist.