I must practice -

waxing eloquent on the joys of weddings. Like the good, serious student that I am I waited to tell most everyone at school that I was gettin' hitched until after my major exams were over. And somehow I missed a few people. So someone said something about June to me, and I mentioned that I couldn't commit to anything because I'll be down South getting married ... This boring background is only relevant in so much as I didn't bring up the wedding and I certainly wasn't seeking attention from it. But then a prof I really like said something like 'Oh, I didn't know you were getting married' and right out of my mouth comes 'Well, I'm not that excited about it anymore.'

Whoops.

And that doesn't at all mean what he assumed. It's just that finally getting around to trying to have a baby is so much more important/exciting than our wedding. We've been together forever and I don't think a big, formal ceremony will change the stability of our relationship, although the insurance will be great. And I do enjoy a good party. It's just that a wedding doesn't seem that life-altering to me at this point, but having a baby certainly does. But I could hardly explain that in the company, so who knows what they thought about me/us ... and my one fear is that I will let IF overshadow the wedding. Because we're only getting married once and I do want to focus on that for at least a week or two. And for all that I don't know that any cycle soon will work out soon, I am sure that we will be parents (by some means) within the next couple of years. So if I could just focus on that certainty than I might be willing to give up a May/June cycle in order to let me focus on the wedding. Of course, without all the balancing and multi-tasking I may just be bored.