A bad joke without a punch line (yet)

It looks like Thursday is going to be a bad day. Very bad. The technician told me she suspects we will be canceled on Thursday ... for over-response. 12 follicles of size 9 in each ovary. I'm not really sure what else to say, except that I am just about done with this clinic.

Seems like since the doctors don't really see patients mid-cycle, the nursing staff have taken over all medical advice. While still mid-u/s (and after turning the screen away so that I couldn't see it) the technician says 'Have you considered IV?' Me: 'What?' She then explains that we would be very good candidates. I mumble. Then I asked whether she was suggesting that we convert this cycle to IVF, since our doctor had told us that he almost never approves converting injectable cycles to IVF. She said that the clinic does it occasionally, and then explained that the doctor's opposition is not really based on egg quality or anything important, but just that this clinic shares their embryologist with another clinic so they only have him certain weeks. And if they over-stimulate someone the wrong week they can't covert to IVF. Not that I would consider it at this clinic given the lack of oversight. It may be an easy out for me to blame the doctor when clearly my body is on some type of wild roller coaster, but I am super-frustrated with them.

So I go to check out. First, I try to schedule my May cycle (should we need it), which nobody understands until they actually look at my chart. The problem is that I need to schedule it now because I will need to carry my drugs with my to Europe. And get a baseline u/s done there - expect that to be as much of a hassle as finding housing. Then they try to mis-bill me again. That was a battle I won about 3 weeks ago, but it took a long time to 'confirm' the price.

Then I had to schedule my Thursday u/s. I very calmly tell the receptionist that I will need to speak to the doctor after the u/s. She tells me he doesn't have time. I exceedingly calmly/icily explain that I will probably be canceled for the 2nd time on Thursday and I will need to see the doctor (last time I was canceled JD and I had to go back at 8 am the next morning to actually speak to the doctor). I do not cry at this point. After repeating the exact same phrase about 6 times (and the receptionist calling in back-up) they find a time the doctor 'should be in the office so he may be able to talk to you but expect to wait.' That's all I'm getting from this clinic. And I have so many questions about our risk of multiples and whether we can safely use SR. I have no idea what the risks are of early SR or even landing up with several fetuses. None. But I would like to know because JD and I are 100% pro-choice. Honestly, in any situation for any reason. But I have no idea what the risks are for me and of SR for carrying any fetus to term.

So I didn't cry in the clinic. But I did take the long route back to the apartment just in case JD was here.

And then I called JD who was incredibly cheerful and optimistic and super-excited that my body responded at all. I guess after watching my sister's saga (she never responded to anything) he sees over-response as a positive. And he was really nice. I basically dragged him to see my friend's new baby on Sunday and we had a big fight in the elevator on the way up. And then forgot about it on the way out. But on the phone just now he was talking about how happy I seemed with the baby and how he's starting to get more excited about actually having a child. Why can't we be on the same emotional page? Maybe I need to make him take a sick day and come with on Thursday.

Well, since I left my friend's apartment in the Bronx at 6am this morning to catch my flight, I'm off to shower and relax. Maybe I'm just too tired to think clearly. We baked hamantaschen until about 1 am, then invited people over to sample them (don't ask, lots of nocturnal friends), so I wasn't in bed till about 2:30 am, woke up at 5:45 am and took a bus to the train to a bus to the airport, then flew down South and worked all afternoon before my appointment. And even though I can't eat the hamantaschen, I still need to wrap them up into gift packages for tomorrow.