I didn't mean to lie

So I just read http://southern-infertility.blogspot.com/ about her mother's response to her cycle, and it reminded me that I've been meaning to post for a couple of days about my mother. I messed up, and I'm not sure how to fix it. Actually, to be precise, I lied.

A little background: My mother doesn't always say the right things about IF and sometimes it annoys me, but I think that's largely because I tend to come off as detached from my medical treatments (I was completely detached and very fascinated by my stomach problems a few years back, to the point of actually enjoying my many medical exams because they were so interesting) and because she's really trying to come to terms with the idea of not having any biological grandkids of her own. I know that she wants to be as supportive as possible, and she knows that money would alleviate a lot of our stress, so she has promised to help pay for IVF, should we need it, which is great. And when I was home after my grandmother died, I had just started my new diet and she spent hours trying to find food I could eat and get me information on glycemic indexes and such. And I told her then that we were starting treatments, and she didn't seem excited. I thought it was because she was overwhelmed by her mother dying, and that it may also bring up bad memories of what my sister went through. But now I think the reason she wasn't excited is that she misunderstood.

We were talking on Sunday (before this cycle was canceled) and she asked whether the doctor was happy with my weight loss and nutritional stats, and if he thought we were ready to start a cycle. I was so blown away by the question that I must have mumbled something about 'not sure yet,' rather than explaining that we were mid-cycle. So now I've gone from miscommunication to outright lie, but not on purpose. So it's not that she's been politely avoiding asking directly about the cycle, she has no idea we did one. And now we're on to injectables and if I just call up one day and talk about injections, she's pretty clued in to know that she must have missed out on a cycle or two at least. So do I call now and tell her that we did a cycle? Wait till there's at least the possibility of some good news? What till I see her in person? I don't really want to talk to her about the details now, but I certainly never meant to obscure what we're doing. I would be so thrilled if she chatted with JD about it, but that's a lot to ask from him.

Speaking of which, he's been incredible today. All day. And he will be joining me for my 3rd 8 am appointment in a row tomorrow morning. No wonder the doctor could never see me if they schedule simultaneous ultrasounds and consults. And, the library will be open again tomorrow so I can actually do real work rather than posting all day.