But first, cute:
I woke up yesterday night with another nightmare about airplane crashes (don't worry, I love to fly and will continue to do so) and as I was lying there the baby yelped in her sleep. Which woke JD out of his sleep. He startled and told me he'd been having the worst nightmare, and I was the culprit. When I innocently asked what I'd done (remember this is 4-something am and I'm a bit tired) he sighs and says "You were just about to make an illegal left turn." It's good that one of us is getting a good night's sleep.*
Now the dilemma: As you might recall last Friday afternoon JD called to say his parents were at that very moment on their way in to the city to visit us (nothing like less than 2 hours notice to clean up when you have a clingy, hungry baby and also want to go to services, eh?). I asked twice when they were coming to visit this weekend and was told it was too cold and they wouldn't be coming. And then tonight JD tells me that they've decided to come tomorrow evening so that we can 'leave the baby at home' when we go out to dinner.
(First, are you impressed, we have a double date for dinner?) But we're going out to an early dinner with friends who live in the neighborhood and love kids (She keeps complaining about having to wait until she can quit her job to have a baby. Life's awful, awful tough for some people). The whole thing was designed to bring the baby with us.
And here's the thing: I just don't want to leave her. Yes, I will leave her with our nanny when I need to work, although I mostly work at home. But I see that as a necessity for keeping up with my job. Since she is still exclusively breastfeed, I know that she will be hungry and either screaming or have cried herself into an exhausted sleep when I get home. And then I will get a lecture for my MIL about how much better formula is, or at least pumping and exclusively using bottles (why anyone would put themselves through that unnecessarily I don't know. My MIL has no idea how pumping works and seems to think that in under 5 minutes once a day I can simply pump enough for the baby, just like a nice dairy cow. And breastfeeding is going well for us now). Yes, we could start EBM bottles but I'm not ready, and both the LC and pediatrician recommended waiting until we need to because of her slow start eating (and now, reflux) and anyway I want JD to give TS her first bottle.
One of the few parts of the Sears 'Baby Book' which I really agreed with is that I feel guilty/anxious when I leave her unnecessarily. And this dinner date was designed to be baby-friendly. But, my in-laws have plans tomorrow morning and afternoon, so the only time they can come see the baby is during our dinner date. So either I have to insist to JD that we cancel our dinner date, or tell my in-laws they can't see the baby till next weekend (when my father will be visiting, making it crazy again). Or get over it and leave the baby home with them, and feign gratitude for them offering to babysit (without even consulting me). And of course, I can't be too snippy because I would love it if they offer to babysit in the future when I can leave them bottles and come home to a happy baby after a night out.
Sometimes I think how much easier it would be if I could talk to my MIL on the phone (her English is quite good, but she has a lot of trouble over the phone). I hate putting JD in the middle to translate my obsessions, and he of course feels torn because his parents enjoy seeing TS so much and I'm sure he'd rather go out for a couple of hours without her. So, stomp my foot and tell my in-laws they can't see the baby or have a less enjoyable, rushed dinner out and return home to an unhappy baby?
* When I mentioned to JD that I was posting about his dream, he clarified that there was 'oncoming traffic' so it was a really dangerous illegal left.
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2 comments:
I'd be taking TS with me. My argument would be (a) she's too young to be left alone for any length of time because she needs to be breastfed and (b) the whole idea of this dinner was to bring her along.
I think it's okay to put your foot down and insist on this. Your MIL should understand and, if she doesn't, she'll live. I mean that with no disrespect to JD either.
My FIL decided it was okay to call and give us 5 minutes notice that he was coming to see his grandson. Well, he did that once and we were out. He ended up feeling a bit sulky that he didn't get to see Jack. I told him later that he needs to call in the morning and see if we'll be home in the afternoon. I go out with the baby. I am not waiting around "just in case" someone comes to visit.
Did it work? Well, the following weekend he called and gave us a half hour's notice he was coming to see the baby. I guess that's better?
She is your baby - you do what you feel most comfortable with. I don't think you should leave TS with anyone if you don't want to. When I had the triplets, many people said, "Oh since you have triplets, obviously you won't BF them. And obviously you'll have to have other people feed them. And obviously you'll let everyone hold them all the time. And obviously..." And you know what? They were MY babies. No one was getting their grubby little paws on my babies; no one was feeding my babies but me; I wasn't leaving my babies with ANYONE but my husband; and (craziest of all) because they'd been handled by so many people for their first month in the NICU and because they came home at the start of RSV/Flu season and they were preemies, I was absolutely adamant that for the first month that they were home, my husband and I were the only ones to hold them (though I did let my mother and mother in law hold them maybe once... though maybe not... I can't remember).
(And all you had to do was ASK for my IVF blog! I wasn't hiding it, I just didn't want to post the direct link on my chezperky blog. Duh! :) )
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