Hints from the subconscious

I did not make it to bed yesterday night. Another night on the couch. In part because TS was spitting up and fussy, in part because I was pissed at JD. (I know, I know, so mature to escape to the couch with baby in tow ...)

I have been having wild dreams since TS was born. I'm sure it's because I'm being woken from deep sleep repeatedly. My first dream last night was about visiting a pregnant friend I haven't seen since my wedding. In the second dream I went to class (with TS in tow, of course) and one of my most together colleagues was like 'What are you doing here? You don't have any support here. Get out of here' and suddenly I was pulling up google maps and orbitz and figuring out how long it would take to drive to DC and how much a plane ticket to Cali would cost (in my dream DC and Boston were conveniently next to each other - it made planning much easier). And part of me thinks I should do just that. Yes, I have a ton of work to do but I'm home alone today from 8 am to probably 11 pm. There's no way I'm going to get enough work done. And I do have another 2 weeks till I really have to be back.

I don't think it's JD's fault that we're snapping at each other. It's just that I'm tired when he gets home and TS is tired and I want a break but JD hasn't had enough time with TS to know how to keep her happy (she really is an easy baby when you're paying attention to her. Multitasking, not so much) and yesterday night I snapped because he was rocking her in bed and she was crying and I just wanted quiet. But really, in my defense, I just wanted one hour of deep sleep before I took over for the night.

And before the tiff, JD suggested we make plans for the weekend so we could have some real, adult conversation. Which sounded fabulous until the little wheels in my head started turning and I realized we'd have to ask his friends to go out to dinner/brunch with us because I don't have friends in the city who are up for going out with a baby (not that it limits us much at this point at all. No loud bars. Otherwise, she's totally portable and I have no qualms about taking her out to a nice restaurant since she tends to sleep the entire time we're out and I would certainly escape if she threw a fit). No wonder I'm feeling a bit isolated.