Feeling Lost

I just don't have the emotional reserves to deal with this roller coaster today. Of course, the doctor's office didn't call me back with any results, so I called them. And called again. And called again. And ...

All the tests are negative. No infection. Way to ruin my long weekend for nothing. And yes, the doctor told me conclusively that I had an infection Thursday. She did not say, as she apparently wrote in the chart, "suspected infection." In fact, she left the room twice to check on cultures??????????

And, no explanation of a host of rather odd symptoms. So they want to see me at 8:45 am.

For what? I asked. For STD testing, obviously. That's the "only other possible explanation for your symptoms" says the very cheerful nurse. Now, not only have I had 3 complete sets of tests done this year thanks to seeing 3 different RE's, but I'm quite sure my risk factors do not necessitate a 4th round of testing. But that's apparently all they're going to do tomorrow morning. So I have no idea whether to go or not, and what to think. I guess these could all be 'normal pregnancy' symptoms but sudden-onset exhaustion and nausea in Week 15 seems a bit odd to me, as does sharp shooting back pains when I haven't gained much weight (at most 2 lbs in the past 10 weeks), and honestly, pain during s.e.x freaks me out. But I really don't think another pap smear is going to clear things up. And I hate having to face a doctor who apparently lied to my face about what was going on Thursday afternoon.

And it's just exhausting to feel sick, be given a clear, easy to handle (albeit nervewracking) diagnosis, and then to be told that was just a 'suspicion' and they have no idea what's wrong with me.

Update: Thank goodness JD is a good deal calmer than I am and rather legally-minded. He looked up the statue in this state and I can legally refuse further STD testing "with cause." So all their threatening me that I will be in 'non-compliance and unable to deliver in a hospital in this state' (which I never, ever intended to do anyway) is a lie. The statue is just the default, ie. women should be tested unless they have a reason not to be (like being worried their insurance will deny the claim since they've paid, oh, 3 times for these tests this year already).