I found this article (the one about Chinese-American children raised abroad by extended in family in today's NYT's) to be quite interesting. It both acknowledges the financial need which leads parents to send their children to be raised elsewhere, and at least gives a little lip service to cultural differences. It definitely seems that it could have discussed the cultural differences a bit more, since these practices seem to still be widespread in China (and the numbers just don't add up: thousands of children are sent abroad to be raised by extended family, and yet a couple of hundred seek counseling. Either early intervention is utterly failing or some families are pulling off the transition without serious problems). Seems like many of the bonding techniques are similar to those used by adoptive parents.
Despite the fact that my husband is an incredibly well-balanced man, it's still interesting to hear him talk about his childhood (which he does very, very, very rarely). I know that his father did not meet him until he was a year old, and that he was separated from his mother for at least five years (but possibly 9?) while he was raised by both sets of grandparents. It does make you wonder if parenting our fusspot (and being away from her at the moment) raises any of these issues again?
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Thanks, Rachel, for your advice! I need it. They do chill your "cocktail" at my midwife's (praise be) and I wish I had a device for viewing something. I'll just have to bring one of them good ol' book thingies :)--if I can read in the state I'm sure to be in.
It appears to be very tough for the kids, you know!
Take care both of you!
ICLW
Happy ICLW!
I can't imagine sending my children off for years at a time. Obviously, I'm in a different culture. It's so interesting to me to read how different cultures raise their children. My dad was born in Indonesia and had "help" when he was a kid. It's funny to hear him talk about his "nurse maid" and to hear his mom talk about all her "help". So interesting to me!
*HUGS*
Last year we had DH's nephew spend six months with us in the US to learn English. (we are from South America) He's was 15. It was weird. Very difficult to all of a sudden lose your privacy and not know how to bond with a teenager. There's the lack of intimacy, because you haven't seen the kid grow up, we don't know each others ways, tastes, quirks, etc. He's not a child, but not an adult yet, so the relationship is complicated. I agree that the bonding mechanisms would be similar to adoption in some ways, and this experience taught me that I could never adopt a kid older than 5.
ICLW
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