For the record, giving birth is not a spectator sport. I'm very impressed with those of you who have enough generosity to allow spectators in the room. I'm sure it is very meaningful for those people to be there. I am not one of those kind, generous people. In fact, I fully expect to be exceedingly grumpy during this entire process (I've heard through the grapevine that it hurts ...)
A relative of mine, who used to be an L and D nurse, and is an exceedingly fun person to hang out with, offered a few weeks ago to attend the birth. However, she lives 3 or so hours outside NYC and has not once come to visit us in the city. She's also not so young and has some health problems and I really can't imagine calling her at 2 am and asking her to hope in her car and drive in to hang out with us. Which is why we hired a doula. And I thought that was that. I just got a guilt trip about it from none other than my sister about the situation. Not that making me feel guilty will change anything, but it did annoy me. Mind you, she did not offer to come help out with the newborn after I give birth - just the delivery part.
Moreover, we are not calling anyone until we are home from the hospital. For one simple reason, I don't want visitors in the hospital. My family is all too far away to show up, my friends are too clueless to know what's appropriate (except those with kids who are too busy), and JD's mother is still convinced that she's going to pick me and the baby up (not JD, mind you) and take us to her house 2.5 hours away ... and I think the easiest way to avoid that conflict is simply not to call until we're home. Plus, we'll need to go to the pediatrician within 48 hours of our release, so there's no reason to torture the baby with 5+ hours of driving in her first 2 days for absolutely no reason. And my apartment is completely set up for me and the baby (with my hearty stash of desserts in the freezer). And I don't really think it's fair or nice to call my family and not JD's, plus we'll most likely be released within 24 hours and so there's just no reason people can't wait to find out (I did concede JD could e-mail his buddies on his blackberry if he needs 'support' and he seemed pretty content with that) and if I'm not released it's because they've cut me open and I'll just want to sleep and relax.
I of course thought it was better just to tell people what we're going to do, so that they have time to get over it. But the more complaining I hear from them, the less interest I have in talking to any of my family (except my mother, who very dutifully listens to me whine almost daily) until after I've given birth. Nobody has yet expressed any real concern for how I'm feeling, or, just like my wedding, how I'm doing emotionally and it's really starting to peeve me. Oh well.
Oh, and one other annoyance just to show you how obnoxious I am when JD's family is clearly going out of their way to be helpful. My MIL called from Costco today to tell JD she'd bought us a huge stash of (disposable, not even chlorine free) diapers. Of course, she also bought us some cloth diapers before so she knows we want to use cloth diapers. I know we'll also need disposable diapers for when we're traveling or overwhelmed with laundry, etc. but I just think a huge Costco-scale stash is going to be way too tempting to use full time. And we live in NYC! There are 3 24-hour drug stores within 3 minutes of our apartment where we can stock up on disposable diapers whenever we should need them. So of course I'm peeved, even though I'm sure this shopping excursion was done with nothing but the best intentions.
Coming up when JD comes home from work: the final belly shots. We actually had taken none since our honeymoon in August so in the freezing cold today we went outside and took a bunch, and they are really cute. Plus more news on how the obsessive woman deals with her rapidly-approaching due date by indulging in every known 'natural' induction method.
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1 comment:
Almost there! I can't wait to see the pics. :)
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