and definitely overreacting. I'm sure that my midwife will figure out some ob/gyn to see me and clear me for a 'natural' delivery. But she has ignored both of my pages today, and when I finally paged her partner she told me it was absurd that they wouldn't make an appointment for me and that she'd call them and get back to me. But that was hours ago and no call, and of course their office is closed now for the holiday.
I know I'm overreacting and one extra appointment is not that big a deal and someone will fit me in, but I am pissed. Pissed because I have a dinner Thursday night that I have been looking forward to for days, which I will probably not be able to make if I get an appointment on Thursday. Pissed that my time is worth absolutely nothing and that every specialist in the world can demand that I come in to see them just as much as they like and that I will be in non-compliance should I refuse. Even though this is all just 'precaution' and thus far there is not the slightest hint that anything is wrong with the baby. And really so much of this is wasted time. I was dopplered four times yesterday by four different doctors.
Pissed that every time I mention how much time I am spending in doctors appointments and how miserable it is to be hungry non-stop and to have to schedule my days around being someplace I can wash my hands and draw my blood 4-5 times a day, everyone feels the need to remind me 'just how lucky I am.' I know I'm lucky. I am incredibly, incredibly lucky to be pregnant. And obviously I will do whatever is necessary to have a healthy baby. We weren't sure this would ever happen and we're both still more than a bit amazed that it has. But that doesn't really recognize the incredible amount of stress this has put on me in my last month. I will spend at least 1/2 of every other day until I deliver running to doctors appointments and waiting in uncomfortable waiting rooms and being weighed and poked and evaluated. And of course I get stressed at every appointment. In fact, all of my blood sugar readings have been off today because I have been so stressed about whether to page the midwife about something that is clearly not an emergency and how to deal with this (and no, it's not what I've eaten because I have honestly had the exact same food as yesterday, meal for meal and snack for snack).
And of course, we might not have Thanksgiving this year. JD is still at work. We have a 2.5 hour trip out to his parents, and he thinks he might be able to get out of the office by 9 pm. And he might very well need to work Friday. Plus, since the car was junked we have to take the train out to his parents and it's sure to be a bit miserable late at night and possibly back at 6 or 7 am on Friday morning.
Hopefully my next post will at least be from my in-law's house.
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2 comments:
Grrr. I don't think you're overreacting - I'd be really shitty that this woman doesn't follow through with what she says she is going to do.
I really hope you are able to make it out to your in-laws where you can relax and eat kosher Chinese food and have a nice Thanksgiving.
EVERYONE who is pregnant should be grateful...that doesn't mean that women who are pregnant after IF are prohibited from being annoyed about nonsense that no man in his right mind would ever tolerate. In your case it goes beyond nonsense to ridiculous medical bureaucracy. I know it's important to be safe but this is more than that.
I hope you're able to relax this weekend and, for the record, I still don't think you're whining ;)
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