A modified Grace Kelly look

Yesterday night I finally met a bunch of JD's local friends. JD and I lead rather independent lives at times, and my strong preference for martinis and bars with clean bathrooms and his preference for dive bars mean that we often go out separately. It works for us. However, yesterday night he wanted me to meet his friends at trivia, which was actually a lot of fun.

Except, for the four hours in a very smoky bar. And a genuine down South dive bar. The type with a sand parking lot and a door coming off its hinges where your feet stick slightly to the floor because of old beer spills. The type that did not carry my favorite (and only) drink of choice at the moment: diet sprite. In fact, they had no diet sodas at all, which totally ruled out my drinking anything. Neither did they have any caffeine free-mixers. So there I sat at the bar nursing a warm water.

And JD was a bit nervous about showing off my bump at this point, so he kept suggesting that I sit down (he thinks it's less obvious when I'm sitting). So there I sat at the bar in an adorable J.C.r.ew bright orange dress, clutching my NYC-sized purse to my tummy and sipping a water while everyone around me chugged PBR's and chain smoked. It was a modified Grace Kelly look.

And after trivia, one of the bartenders (definitely trying to go Am.y Win.ehouse-style with a skin-tight dress and disheveled hair) decided to DJ. All of a sudden she turned the volume way up. I leaned over to JD and whispered that I was wondering if the baby has ears yet (first time I've said baby out-loud yet!) and we both spent an entertaining five minutes trying to piece together our knowledge of biology and friend's experiences to guess whether it has ears yet. My guess was yes.

I have to say more than the reassuring photos and 2 u/s yesterday and the heartbeat, the one comment that stuck in my mind is the first doctor's comment that the fetus was kicking so much that he was hard to measure. I don't think I'd ever thought about it moving at this point. It's kind-of amazing to think that much is going on in my uterus without my feeling anything. Or having any external clues except for a perpetual and intense hunger. I am now much more sympathetic to my friend who didn't pee on a stick until she was almost four months (she was in college and rather distracted, and yes everything worked out well. That little surprise will be a flower girl at my wedding).

I keep waiting for the morning where I wake up and think "Oh my gosh, I haven't been to the IF clinic in months - I wonder if I could be pg!" I think it might be any day now. Or maybe it will take until I feel a kick to have that moment. Because this all just feels so surreal to me at this point.