If only I could invite my dear friends into my fantasy world. If only I could think of anything to make them feel better.
Remember the friend who bowled me over with her 'oops' announcement on trigger day? (And yes, she knew it was trigger day. In fact she was covering for me when I ran out to the doctors office for the shot because I couldn't find a friend to do it). I e-mailed her today about something work related, and she wrote back to tell me her baby died about a month ago and she had the D and C this week.
I haven't even been able to write her a note yet. I have no idea what to say. And yes, I realize I will either need to cancel our meeting next week or notify her of my little secret via e-mail so that she doesn't have to fake joy about it. Because even if I don't bring it up at the meeting, I'm pretty sure she'd ask about our future IVF schedule. But really, what do I say?
4 comments:
I think the absolute worst thing you could say is to say nothing at all. For her to face such disappointment and get no response from you would be devastating (at least from my own personal experience).
Send her note, an email, all it has to say is, "I'm so sorry. What happened is horrible. I'm thinking of you"--it will mean a lot.
Then under separate cover, I would write/email her with your secret a couple of days later and say that you are very happy but sad too because of her situation and know this must be difficult for her, but you wanted her to know. I would do this ahead of the meeting, and say that if she feels like canceling the meeting, you understand.
It's a fine line on how to handle these things, but keeping secrets and staying silent are not good ways to keep a friendship, in my opinion. Good luck!
Oh no, I'm so sorry. I'm sure you will handle it gracefully, since you're a good friend, but it will still be very hard. Take care.
I am so very sorry. How very sad.
I second Samantha's advice, I was about to give much the same myself. It IS vitally important you get back to her. But you know that.
Again, I am sorry. It's horribly bitterly ironic. It sucks.
I say you tell her the secret if asked, and follow up with plenty of sympathy for her.
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