thoughts on travel

I have only 2 complaints about travel in Canada in this very delicate condition of mine (did I ever mention how much the motherhood maternity saleswoman laughed at me when I said I was looking for hiking pants? and they had to cover my ankles because of snakes in utah?). Neither is particularly serious, but both are still a bit annoying:

1. Listeria. In case you didn't know, the regulation of unpasteurized dairy products is state jurisdiction in the U.S. In some states it's legal to sell and serve in restaurants unpasteurized milk and soft cheeses (NC, for example). In others, totally illegal (WA, for example). Which means you have to ask when you travel, but everyone knows what you're talking about. Here in Canada (specifically Alberta and B.C.), not so much. In fact, one new father and 2 pregnant women told me they'd never heard of listeria or any danger from eating soft cheeses while pregnant. And yes, far more cheeses here are unpasteurized (like feta, which I've never, ever seen unpasteurized in the U.S. Please don't think I'm always obsessive, I have to read labels very carefully because I keep kosher but will eat dairy products out). Fine. It makes sense that this very rare condition which only affects the immuno-suppressed and pregnant women doesn't exist unless you know to worry about it. Chalk one up for the foreigners on having calm, relaxed pregnancies.

And JD basically told me to stop harrassing clueless waiters and just give up on eating cheese while traveling in Canada. Except, I already don't eat meat when traveling (dun-dun ... foreshadowing). Yes, I'm a fussy eater in restaurants because of all my food restrictions (between the religious ones, obsessive pregnancy ones, oh, and the GI problems) but I love eating and I'm very appreciative when people get me real information and I always place a back-up order so the wait staff can just put that in if they're too busy/unconcerned to check (i.e. I'll have the cheese sandwich if the cheese is pasteurized, but if you're not sure or it's not just give me bread with lettuce ...)

So, we're driving along the highway listening to the local news and what should be on it: an outbreak of listeria in several different provinces of Canada. Suspected source: deli meats. Sigh of relief from JD.

2. Bathrooms. I have no shame running into restaurants I have never eaten at to pee. Or stopping on the side of the highway when there are no rest areas. But both options are exceedingly hard to really on while traveling. And I am yet again amazed by how few public restrooms/how not understanding people are. 2 small examples from today.

a. We're about to get on a 3 hour bus ride when I hear the bus driver mention the bathrooms will be locked during the ride. So I ask if he can unlock them (i.e. are they broken - no?). He says maybe, but the rather belligerent ticket sales woman tells me to go to the bathroom in the bus depot. I assure her I have done so, but still will need another bathroom in the next 3 hours. She repeats slightly louder to go to the bathroom in the bus depot. I glower. She informs me that using the bus while in motion can be "inconvenient." I glower and do not inform her that as a former resident of a house without running world (in the developing world) and a veteran of years of greyhound bus trips (remember, that's how we started this trip for nostalgic reasons) I can pee on a moving bus. Instead, I politely inquire if they can unlock the bathroom door or plan a stop. She tells me to run inside and she'll have the bus wait (I have just been to the bathroom). JD arrives just as I loudly exclaim in her direction "I'm pregnant. I can't hold it for 3 hours. You will either have to unlock the door or make a stop." He yet again asks why I can't be calmer/politer/more ladylike in public ...

b. Fast forward 12+ hours. Going to a small, fringe theater performance in a different city. They are keeping everyone waiting outside until they open the house, so I ask if I can sneak in to use the bathroom. The woman at the door informs me there isn't an unlocked bathroom in the building. Um, what??? It's a show. In a weird, empty neighborhood. It's not terribly long, but long enough. ???? So JD escorts me across a divided highway to a rather grimy McDonalds where ... you have to ring a bell for the manager to come unlock the bathroom. Seriously. I took a photo of the sign by the bathroom but can't get it to load at the moment.

And back to JD's newfound confidence in this whole proposition, yesterday he asked me about different theories of parenting so I very poorly summarized attachment parenting, ferberizing, the differences between how he was raised and 'standard' American practice ... We have talked about these issues a lot before, but never in terms of the specific, never in terms of what we should actually do. But apparently he's thinking it through ... 'cause today we're standing in line someplace and the woman in front of us hands her adorable little girl a full apple juice. JD waits until they are out of earshot to ask if I plan to let our daughter drink apple juice? Yes, we've apparently resolved all of our future sleep/food/swaddling/language issues and we're on to whether toddlers should drink sugary drinks ... so, anybody have any suggestions on what to give JD to read? I have yet to pick up a parenting book I like, although I'm sure that I will stock a shelf of them in case of emergency (someday I'll write about how my mother would pull down her secret cookbook and make up cures to our aches and pains ... the placebo effect got me through most of my childhood bruises ...) but I want JD to be a full participant in making these decisions, which means he needs some basic information on the different options. I honestly don't have any strong thoughts on different parenting styles, perhaps because it all seems so far in the distance, but also because in 15 years of babysitting I have seen parents break every fundamental rule in every book and they all raised interesting, well-adjusted, healthy children.