I spent the morning in bed moping. Yeah, super-mature.
Just what everyone likes the day or two before they are about to have a baby, it looks like I'm probably not going to have funding for school next year. The life of a graduate student is always uncertain and we waste way too much time obsessing about grants/funding/letters of recommendation/conference applications/rankings but the news yesterday night and this morning was not good. And while in the big picture scheme of things I do in fact have a decent amount of money stashed away to help pay for next year, I need to piece something together to cover my health insurance (JD's work very sweetly charges about $1,500 a month if the spouse is "employed and has the option of health insurance from their employer." Luckily NY State makes available their insurance for impoverished children to all children on a sliding scale basis, and even at the top of the sliding scale it's a bargain and much better than what we could get through our employers) and some finagling to wave any related fees of staying a student (including, possibly and quite humorously filing for "extended maternity leave without any benefits" two semesters after the bargain baby's arrival. I.e. I will be a full-time fully active student this entire spring and summer, and then suddenly need "an unpaid leave of absence without any benefits" come fall ... although I would also then lose access to my office and have to work at home (wherever that might be given that we have to move this spring)).
So yeah, no funding for next year.
And then on his way out the door this morning JD innocently asks "So, if you don't have this baby by tomorrow at sunset, it's a shabbos bris, right?" Just the type of pressure I need. Needless to say I spent a rather awkward hour or so on the phone yesterday trying to figure out what in the world we would do in the case of a shabbos bris. Not only could we not then use the friend's apartment which we've been offered (too far) or the mohel we'd chosen (too far) or the food options we'd chosen (not ok on shabbos) but a significant number of friends wouldn't be able to make it (too far). And while our rabbi of course would find a mohel, given our "unusual" family circumstance I'm worried that the whole thing will be unnecessarily awkward and uncomfortable. So when I'm done moping I'm going to go head off on another long forced march to see if a "stroll" will help get the baby out. Just one more pointless thing I can't really plan around.
At least the huge bouquet of tulips from our friendly Swedish tourist still look incredible and cheer me up every time I walk past.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
You're allowed to mope, throw a grown-up tantrum, yadda, at this point. Again, re-read my whines the two weeks prior to Peanut's early debut and you'll feel much better! Perhaps that is why she came early...to end my whining?!
I'm sorry that being observant is being difficult right now, but I know how important it is to you, and will benefit your children.
Any chance you could bump into the dude from G.oldm.an Sa.chs again???
Ugh, I'm so sorry for all the inducements for moping. The funding thing is hard. Academic funding is generally hard these days (unless you're like my brother and studying mechanical engineering at a conservative state school where they throw money at you by the handfuls to build better war machines... but I digress...), but it still sucks that it comes at a time when you need to be focusing on other stuff.
WTG, JD, with laying on a little pressure! What if the baby were born after sunset Friday? Does that take the pressure off for the special-circumstance bris? I mean, not that you want to wait that long, but what I think I'm asking is whether or not it's just a specific 24 hour period that would throw plans into chaos, or whether there's a particular religious season coming around (I'm incredibly stupid on these accounts, so please forgive me, but I know that the timing of Easter is tied to Passover timing and that the Lenten season preceding Easter begins with Ash Wednesday, which is next Wednesday-- er, actually, I just know that Mardi Gras is next Tuesday, because I love Mardi Gras... ANYHOW, seeing as the Easter X-ian holiday relates to Passover, I thought that maybe there might be a reason on the Jewish calendar that the Lenten season begins next Wednesday, which would, then, possibly give reason for there to be a special-circumstance bris. And if you followed all of that, I'm going to give you a medal, because I'm barely sure that it made any sense at all!).
Erm, so. What I mean is that I hope little Bargain Baby doesn't throw a wrench in the works by arriving at an inconvenient time. I'll be thinking laborious thoughts for you...
Yeah, we worried about Shabbat as well, with both our boys. They were both born on Friday afternoons, with a few hours to spare before sunset, but, um, yeah, it's tough.
And the funding thing... you KNOW I'm sympathetic on that one, having been without funding for the last several months myself. Sorry it sucks right now.
I think that is a perfectly acceptable use of daycare hours! Mope away- dealing with all of these variables while uncomfortably pregnant & being nervous or anxious about so many unknowns is not fun. And very mope & whine worthy! I feel like I've started the whining extremely early & I just can't afford (or be able to take) anything over 6 weeks off work- and affording that is looking scary tight. You have so may factors & variables hanging around in mid-air, I am hoping you have some good fortunes and good timing for the bargain baby's birth so at least a few of them land nicely without adding more stress!
Post a Comment