It's 2 am and I'm on the couch upstairs.
And my baby is downstairs screaming.
No, we're not doing CIO. There is no well-researched parenting philosophy behind my cowering on the couch upstairs.
I don't know if it's new teeth. Or the cold (new one). Or being overtired. Or whatever. She's been biting all day. And super-clingy. And I'm in rather a lot of pain and I just couldn't take it anymore. She was fast asleep but the moment I got up to pee and put away the dinner dishes she started screaming. And she will not stop until I go nurse her to sleep. And I just can't handle it - at least for another 5 or 10 minutes.
I'd guess that I have easily spent 4 or 5 hours nursing her today. All intermixed with biting and pinching.
Same for yesterday.
I keep reading blogs of women who are doing attachment parenting and don't just leave their children to scream. Not because CIO is bad, but just that we'd planned to try and avoid it. Except that all of those women have partners around. If I don't do yesterday and today's dishes and fold the laundry and wash the high chair all of those tasks will be waiting for me in the morning. And I'd rather spend the morning planning with her and going for a walk than cleaning up the week's mess. And anyway I'm in too much pain to consider nursing again for at least 5 minutes.
I've tried lying next to her and not nursing, but unless I keep my arms crossed over my chest she will spend her time pawing away to get to nursing.
I mean, I even missed writing a bit b-day post this week because I was nursing my baby (and I had planned to post new photos, Ms. J).
And I think of how long I waited for this moment, and how I always managed to stay calm and collected and loving when babysitting sick children. But at the moment I'm just worn out and venting here.
So anyway, that's where we are. This too shall pass soon and I'll be back online.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Sometimes the very best thing to do is just walk away & regain your sanity (not that you're crazy or anything- I just know that feeling also)
She is fine with a little crying- even screaming. Pumpkin did it for almost 20 minutes straight on a car ride home the other night- literally no way to comfort her so I had to just let her scream her little head off. And she's fine.
I hope you are both back to your selves soon- I can not imagine getting everything done without the hubs- you are amazingly strong & even the strongest need a break sometimes!
Been there done that, the bitten nipples really hurts. Sometimes you need to walk away - just for a little while.
I think you did the right thing; a few minutes alone won't psychologically scar her. Hang in there...it WILL get better.
This whole parenting thing really blows sometimes! Seriously, there are days when I wonder what in the hell we were thinking! I mean, we PAID for this!
With my guys, it always seems like new teeth means sore nursing and "nipping" for a few days before things even back out. I did it with Nora for about a week, and I am now going through it with Liam. It's not fun, and I am sure that it's a lot worst for the Fusspot because she's not feeling well too.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. And, you know that we try not to do the screaming thing either, but (as my chiro always says) you were here first. You need to take care of you. If walking away and taking a mommy time out for a few minutes helps you, then do what you need to do. I know that it must be hard with your DH thousands of miles away. I can barely do it for the weekend!
You are a great mom, and you are completely right- this too shall pass.
Thinking about you, Rachel!
Post a Comment