Building good will (advice solicited below)

I have been pestering my few friends in NYC who have children with questions for months, so I realized last week that I really need to work on building good will. I don't just want to be that newbie mom who asks a million questions but doesn't offer to help.

So, midday today I took a break from work and helped my friend negotiate the NYC subway system to get her 3 month old daughter to JFK airport. Sounds crazy, huh? I'm sure it's a dilemma I'll face in the future, especially given our travel schedules. My friend didn't want to take a cab because then she would have to lug around a carseat with her for the entire trip, including checking it out on the airplane, even though her family has a carseat already installed in their car to pick her up in CA. So even though a cab would have been faster and easier, she had to drag her baby, stroller and suitcase through the subway system. And no, none of the 3 subway entrances near us are wheelchair accessible. Nor was the first transfer.

Tomorrow I am babysitting for another friend so she can go out for a drink. This even after I nearly starved her baby last week by spilling a bag of breastmilk (great friend, huh?) But apparently all is forgiven, or she's just really desperate to get out. And honestly, I've been watching her older daughter for four years now.

I have already been rewarded with a bag of newborn clothes and the loan of a much-coveted power drill (friend 1) and a bag of maternity clothes (friend 2).

So here's the night's dilemma: I have a number of regular babysitting jobs in the city, all of families I adore (I can be picky at this point) and almost all of whom know each other. 2 of the little girls were even flower girls in my wedding. But I haven't seen any of them in the past 3 months and I haven't told them about our little secret. I'm really nervous about bumping into them on the street, and I do really want to tell them, but I feel a bit awkward. It's not that these are judgemental women, it's just that they are all career women with nannies and me to help out when they have to go out in the evenings and weekends (please don't read any criticism into this description - my long-time readers will know this is a lifestyle I definitely aspire to if it were a financial option for us). And both of the two I am closest to told me before my wedding 'not to rush the baby thing.' They obviously know I love kids. One explained that we'd need time together as a couple before we started our family, especially given that we've been commuting. The other told me to make sure I get my career in place before having kids. This of course was long after we'd started IF treatments, and at least one of the two did IF treatments for baby #2. So I think I should e-mail them so that they have time to temper their reactions, but I'm just not sure what to say. I also feel completely dishonest passing this pregnancy off as a 'surprise' (believe me, we were surprised) largely because most people read that as an 'oops' and let's be honest, at age 27 with 2 college degrees and 2 post-grad degrees between us, I just don't think it's flattering to claim that JD and I don't know how babies are (supposed to be/sometimes/for the lucky) made. And someday I want these women to be able to be supportive when we start IF treatments again, but that of course requires my honesty. So how do I politely tell them that I still want us to be close but I somehow failed to mention my bump until I was safely in the third trimester?

Thoughts?