In the last two days I have had two very unexpected run ins with my past and while neither was earth shattering, they are both odd reminders of situations long forgotten. Thankfully neither involved my exs, who have the unfortunate habit of either appearing in Whole Foods at 10 pm when I am running out in my pajamas with a fussy baby (twice, folks!) or on the subway at 8 pm on a hot, summery day when I am drenched in sweat and my toddler is threatening to "peep" on the subway seat unless we hurry up and find a bathroom (ah yes, we exude confident elegance wherever we go).
The first run in started with a little disaster. I went to put more air in a distinctly flat Phil and Ted stroller tire and the entire wheel exploded so violently that it shattered the plastic wheel rim. And since it's hot and I do not relish carrying a child and my laptop/books/lunch on our mile hike to daycare every morning, I decided to splurge on a standing "board" for our big stroller. All long background to say that I most unexpectedly found myself ringing the doorbell of our old neighbors' door (ah, craigslist ...) and who should answer but the baby. The very baby featured in my second ever post on this blog (circa January 2008: http://longdistanceinfertility.blogspot.com/2008/01/what-weird-culture.html). The baby I mistakenly thought was a little girl. Now a large 4 year old boy who held the leash to the still-yapping big dogs. Followed immediately by the toddler who used to fling his shoes at my door when we first started cycling (http://longdistanceinfertility.blogspot.com/2008/03/great-news-before-9-am.html), now a very large 6 year old boy. Naturally the clueless father did not recognize me for a very long time, but just standing in the doorway of our old apartment looking at two big boys staring at me brought back all of the memories of lying alone and hungry in my bed listening to the baby cry and waking up to toddler shoes flung into my entryway.
When I feel overwhelmed, I need to remember that it's only been 4 years. 4 years since we started this adventure. But oh wow, how big those kids got in 4 years.
Ah yes, and how awesome that my dear reader Io was commenting back then, and now folks she's back online and cycling right now.
The second blast from the past happened this morning on the subway. I convinced JD to lug the children in to daycare, and so I had the immense luxury of riding the subway in to work. And who should be sitting on my train car but my orientation leader from college? Yes, we've been in touch frequently since then because he happens to be in JD's wider circle of friends, but I haven't talked to him much. So much so that even though I last saw him only a few months ago he somehow had no idea that we had kids. He's only a year older than me, happily living the single life in the big city, literally running over to the drug store to buy deoderant when we got off the train before a work meeting because he'd forgotten that morning ... and it brought back all of those memories of early college, which was definitely a rough time period for me. Let's see: my parents divorced, I got evicted from my dorm because everyone was so distracted that no one remembered to pay the bill (and no, it was never sent to me or I would have figured out a way to take care of it), I dated a raving alcoholic (and a few other less savory characters), and in general I just felt alone. And yeah, it's been a really rough week (I am writing this on 2 hours of sleep. Hence the massive overuse of parenthesis), and it's good to remember that I've been through rough weeks and months before. And even though I am pretty sure that I was a clingy, insecure, blabber mouth during orientation (which included a 4-day trip into the backwoods of NH. Let's all play college trivia, since this college is known for its "camp ---" feel and long orientation), this guy had the kindness to give me a big hug and pick up the conversation as if none of those details mattered.
Only 4 years and be kind, that's today's take-away. And try to get more than 2 hours of sleep per night. But you already knew that.
The first run in started with a little disaster. I went to put more air in a distinctly flat Phil and Ted stroller tire and the entire wheel exploded so violently that it shattered the plastic wheel rim. And since it's hot and I do not relish carrying a child and my laptop/books/lunch on our mile hike to daycare every morning, I decided to splurge on a standing "board" for our big stroller. All long background to say that I most unexpectedly found myself ringing the doorbell of our old neighbors' door (ah, craigslist ...) and who should answer but the baby. The very baby featured in my second ever post on this blog (circa January 2008: http://longdistanceinfertility.blogspot.com/2008/01/what-weird-culture.html). The baby I mistakenly thought was a little girl. Now a large 4 year old boy who held the leash to the still-yapping big dogs. Followed immediately by the toddler who used to fling his shoes at my door when we first started cycling (http://longdistanceinfertility.blogspot.com/2008/03/great-news-before-9-am.html), now a very large 6 year old boy. Naturally the clueless father did not recognize me for a very long time, but just standing in the doorway of our old apartment looking at two big boys staring at me brought back all of the memories of lying alone and hungry in my bed listening to the baby cry and waking up to toddler shoes flung into my entryway.
When I feel overwhelmed, I need to remember that it's only been 4 years. 4 years since we started this adventure. But oh wow, how big those kids got in 4 years.
Ah yes, and how awesome that my dear reader Io was commenting back then, and now folks she's back online and cycling right now.
The second blast from the past happened this morning on the subway. I convinced JD to lug the children in to daycare, and so I had the immense luxury of riding the subway in to work. And who should be sitting on my train car but my orientation leader from college? Yes, we've been in touch frequently since then because he happens to be in JD's wider circle of friends, but I haven't talked to him much. So much so that even though I last saw him only a few months ago he somehow had no idea that we had kids. He's only a year older than me, happily living the single life in the big city, literally running over to the drug store to buy deoderant when we got off the train before a work meeting because he'd forgotten that morning ... and it brought back all of those memories of early college, which was definitely a rough time period for me. Let's see: my parents divorced, I got evicted from my dorm because everyone was so distracted that no one remembered to pay the bill (and no, it was never sent to me or I would have figured out a way to take care of it), I dated a raving alcoholic (and a few other less savory characters), and in general I just felt alone. And yeah, it's been a really rough week (I am writing this on 2 hours of sleep. Hence the massive overuse of parenthesis), and it's good to remember that I've been through rough weeks and months before. And even though I am pretty sure that I was a clingy, insecure, blabber mouth during orientation (which included a 4-day trip into the backwoods of NH. Let's all play college trivia, since this college is known for its "camp ---" feel and long orientation), this guy had the kindness to give me a big hug and pick up the conversation as if none of those details mattered.
Only 4 years and be kind, that's today's take-away. And try to get more than 2 hours of sleep per night. But you already knew that.
2 comments:
Four years is both a long time and a very short period of time. How far you have come since those toddler shoes made you sad!
(Ten years on the other hand is ridiculous - my kids that I used to nanny are all HUGE. And one of them can drink legally.)
It sounds like the second encounter was pretty awesome though!
Funny how encounters like this make us stop to reflect on the journey. I'm sorry that it was such a rough week for you ... and hope that this week is a better one! Good thoughts for move preparation, too ... I love DC. Less gothic than Gotham. :)
Post a Comment