I keep reading lovely posts about decluttering and living simply and avoiding the endless build-up of baby clothes/toys/accessories (excluding strollers. Ain't no one gonna touch my stroller stash) and it all seems like a good idea and then I turn to my own apartment and ... stress? panic? fail? The problem is that I have a really hard time parting with stuff:
1. I am sentimental. I like souvenirs from travel, old letters (JD and I used to write a letter a day when apart. I like to stash old cards/letters inbetween books so it's a total surprise when I come across one. There are a lot of letters floating around the apartment). My parents also saved most of my childhood toys and it's practically impossible to get rid of those.
2. I love to shop, but I tend to buy inexpensive items so I have far more cheap cardigans than I need, for example. But when I sort through clothes it's hard to get rid of perfectly-nice items just because I don't "need" them. I also have a sinking feeling that this is the pinnacle of JD and my disposable income for a long, long time and that I'll be looking for these items in a few years. I also feel like I am giving away my pre-baby self in order to make room for baby items, which is probably true and necessary but still a depressing thought.
3. The fusspot is a first grandchild (sort-of) and showered with books and clothes. I have done a decent job of keeping the toys to a minimum (toys I dislike such as those that make noise/are large plastic items/have branding/are party favors get a shelf life of one week and then goodwill) but it's still hard to keep the classic forever-toys under control in a small apartment (i.e. her blocks, brio, box of dress-up clothes, play kitchen set (which dates from around 1982 ...), toddler bicycle). I have no idea what to do about books given that we already have two overflowing bookshelves of children's board books and picture books and we really do spend a chunk of every day reading (plus they are in several languages and many were stored from my childhood). I also don't exactly want to pare down the babies' clothes too much given that we are to be laundromat-people in another 2 weeks and I really have no idea how that is going to work with art projects/toilet training/spit-up/baby food.
4. I am a wishful-thinking type of gal, and I truly hope that our family continues to grow. Hence, can't really toss outgrown baby items although they for the most part go in storage at my in-laws.
But we are moving from about 600 square feet to about 500 square feet, sans any closets (although with a real-sized kitchen! YAY to no longer having the silverware stored in the top drawer of the kid's bureau!!!) and I really need inspiration to downsize. I really want to do the sorting/discarding in our current apartment because I think that it's going to be pretty miserable to have piles of stuff lying around in the new place that we don't have any storage for.
Any good thoughts for inspiration? Tricks which have worked for you? Good websites?
ps - please don't suggest a storage unit. I am already worried that I lean towards the hoarders side when it comes to sentimental/baby items and I like the fact that I have to keep that under control by having our storage restricted to one very-large closet in my in-laws basement. We also don't own a car and I can't imagine the hassle of renting a car every time we needed to get something out of storage.
pps - 11 large boxes packed already and not so much as a dent in our 10 bookshelves ...
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
hello long weekend
We have ever-so-busy plans to visit the in-laws, have some of my relatives come meet the dumpling, and clean up in anticipation of our move.
Which is why it was lovely to realize that I have a nice, hard lump in my left breast. It usually takes 2-4 hours for me to spike a fever so that should put me ... oh yeah, alone on a packed Long Island Railroad train right about the time that the thermometer passes 104.
Wish us luck folks.
Which is why it was lovely to realize that I have a nice, hard lump in my left breast. It usually takes 2-4 hours for me to spike a fever so that should put me ... oh yeah, alone on a packed Long Island Railroad train right about the time that the thermometer passes 104.
Wish us luck folks.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
In search of a good idea ... for a vacation
Let's be honest. I am under a lot of stress at the moment, and one of those things which I was most happy to put on my husband's lap was planning a summer vacation. Despite all of my travel with kids in tow, we have not actually had a family vacation (i.e. all of us, not visiting my parents) in 2 full years and since he will be out on official leave there's a good chance that he may not be called back to work (which happened twice last year when we tried to visit family over long weekends). So yeah, JD's planning our summer vacation and ... nada. Nothing planned. Oh, and now we need 3 plane tickets and everything is getting pricey and ... seriously? He has made no progress.
So, we'd love your ideas. One idea was an apartment swap since we do have a lovely (petite) 2-bedroom in NYC, but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. Another idea was to fly to a part of the U.S. we don't know well like Colorado or New Mexico and just drive around (although it'll be July and hot for 2 babies ...)
I briefly priced international plane tickets and definitely not happening. However, we are always up for a trip to Canada (we've driven across most of Canada and been to Banff/Jasper and Halifax on separate trips).
So, tell me about your summer travel plans. Or your best vacation in the U.S. Or anyplace lovely to visit. As you might have guessed, it does not need to be particularly baby-friendly for us to try it, and the beach is not high on our list of priorities.
So, we'd love your ideas. One idea was an apartment swap since we do have a lovely (petite) 2-bedroom in NYC, but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. Another idea was to fly to a part of the U.S. we don't know well like Colorado or New Mexico and just drive around (although it'll be July and hot for 2 babies ...)
I briefly priced international plane tickets and definitely not happening. However, we are always up for a trip to Canada (we've driven across most of Canada and been to Banff/Jasper and Halifax on separate trips).
So, tell me about your summer travel plans. Or your best vacation in the U.S. Or anyplace lovely to visit. As you might have guessed, it does not need to be particularly baby-friendly for us to try it, and the beach is not high on our list of priorities.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
A few thoughts on double strollers at 9 weeks postpartum
First, I have to be upfront. I own a lot of strollers. And I will not take any criticism for that for several reasons:
a. We don't have a car.
b. I have never bought a stroller new. I have sometimes searched for months to find a stroller on craigslist.
c. I have both children with me 99% of the time that I am running errands (including grocery shopping), and we also travel quite a bit.
So here are the strollers we own:
1. a much-beloved and fairly ancient bugaboo
2. a Maclaren (ok, two. This will be our stroller of choice for big city adventures when we are 2 adults and 2 babies starting in the fall given the 3 flights of stairs at our current subway entrance)
3. a Firstwheels twin stroller (Dutch, no American distributor so rather rare, but think imitation double bugaboo). This is the only side-by-side stroller where both kids can be rear facing, and I love that option but the stroller itself is a bit hard to push and also too large for some doorways
4. a city mini double jogger (stroller of choice for flying with 2)
5. a snap 'n go stroller base for road trips with the dumpling
6. a Jane Powertwin stroller (stored at in-laws, not ok until both kids can sit up)
7. a Phil and Ted (bargain-priced and worth a try, also stored at in-laws until dumpling can sit up)
8. a jogging stroller (in storage at the moment, was a free gift and I'd love to use it if we had more storage)
Things to consider when shopping for a double stroller:
a. How often will you need to fold it? How often will you have 2 hands free while folding it?
b. How easy is it to wash the seats? At some point you -will- be toilet training one or more babies and some stroller seats can take hours to take apart and wash (best stroller seats for spills/accidents: bugaboo and maclaren; worst: firstwheels twin)
c. Can you put the sunshade over the baby and not the toddler?
To state the obvious: I think that you need different strollers for different occasions but for our everyday stroller for a newborn and a toddler we have come to the sad conclusion that the City Mini Double is the best option, even though it has some serious downsides.
Pluses: Lightweight, easy to push with one hand, folds very easily and without any pieces coming apart, small enough to fit through most standard doors (although not all).
Downsides: Non-functional raincover, practically no storage underneath and you have to empty the storage 100% to fold it, no decent lock on the fold mechanism, has plastic instead of rubber wheels so it's hard to bounce up and down stairs
(To my dear local reader: we use ours without a carseat in which case the infant is also facing forward, but if you purchase the carseat piece and use a carseat the baby can face you).
Of course, the biggest benefit for us is that this stroller folds so easily. Our new apartment is rather petite and has no entryway or hall, so we will need to fold the stroller everytime we enter the apartment. Most of the better double strollers (including the Phil and Ted and the icandy pear and the city select double, although not the Jane Powertwin) required you to take one or more seats off in order to fold the stroller and it just wasn't worth it to me. The biggest downside is that I can only buy as many groceries as fit into a backpack on my back with this stroller. I also really don't like not having a working raincover.
There is a very good chance that we will switch to the Jane Powertwin in the fall because it is not a side-by-side and thus fits more easily through the grocery store, etc. It is also a little easier than the City Mini to push, I think and has a better rain cover.
I do not love the Phil and Ted (even though it is the stroller of choice in our neighborhood for baby/toddler combos) because the weight distribution makes it hard to push and it has practically no storage if you are using both seats.
Please feel free to post any stroller questions and I will do my best to answer them in the next post.
a. We don't have a car.
b. I have never bought a stroller new. I have sometimes searched for months to find a stroller on craigslist.
c. I have both children with me 99% of the time that I am running errands (including grocery shopping), and we also travel quite a bit.
So here are the strollers we own:
1. a much-beloved and fairly ancient bugaboo
2. a Maclaren (ok, two. This will be our stroller of choice for big city adventures when we are 2 adults and 2 babies starting in the fall given the 3 flights of stairs at our current subway entrance)
3. a Firstwheels twin stroller (Dutch, no American distributor so rather rare, but think imitation double bugaboo). This is the only side-by-side stroller where both kids can be rear facing, and I love that option but the stroller itself is a bit hard to push and also too large for some doorways
4. a city mini double jogger (stroller of choice for flying with 2)
5. a snap 'n go stroller base for road trips with the dumpling
6. a Jane Powertwin stroller (stored at in-laws, not ok until both kids can sit up)
7. a Phil and Ted (bargain-priced and worth a try, also stored at in-laws until dumpling can sit up)
8. a jogging stroller (in storage at the moment, was a free gift and I'd love to use it if we had more storage)
Things to consider when shopping for a double stroller:
a. How often will you need to fold it? How often will you have 2 hands free while folding it?
b. How easy is it to wash the seats? At some point you -will- be toilet training one or more babies and some stroller seats can take hours to take apart and wash (best stroller seats for spills/accidents: bugaboo and maclaren; worst: firstwheels twin)
c. Can you put the sunshade over the baby and not the toddler?
To state the obvious: I think that you need different strollers for different occasions but for our everyday stroller for a newborn and a toddler we have come to the sad conclusion that the City Mini Double is the best option, even though it has some serious downsides.
Pluses: Lightweight, easy to push with one hand, folds very easily and without any pieces coming apart, small enough to fit through most standard doors (although not all).
Downsides: Non-functional raincover, practically no storage underneath and you have to empty the storage 100% to fold it, no decent lock on the fold mechanism, has plastic instead of rubber wheels so it's hard to bounce up and down stairs
(To my dear local reader: we use ours without a carseat in which case the infant is also facing forward, but if you purchase the carseat piece and use a carseat the baby can face you).
Of course, the biggest benefit for us is that this stroller folds so easily. Our new apartment is rather petite and has no entryway or hall, so we will need to fold the stroller everytime we enter the apartment. Most of the better double strollers (including the Phil and Ted and the icandy pear and the city select double, although not the Jane Powertwin) required you to take one or more seats off in order to fold the stroller and it just wasn't worth it to me. The biggest downside is that I can only buy as many groceries as fit into a backpack on my back with this stroller. I also really don't like not having a working raincover.
There is a very good chance that we will switch to the Jane Powertwin in the fall because it is not a side-by-side and thus fits more easily through the grocery store, etc. It is also a little easier than the City Mini to push, I think and has a better rain cover.
I do not love the Phil and Ted (even though it is the stroller of choice in our neighborhood for baby/toddler combos) because the weight distribution makes it hard to push and it has practically no storage if you are using both seats.
Please feel free to post any stroller questions and I will do my best to answer them in the next post.
success
So, says JD, totally casually when he got home from work last night: "Did you fly carry-on?"
Me, equally casually: "Of course, I always go carry-on on domestic flights."
Him: "Huh."
Which I will totally take as a statement of admiration.
Sure, I was flying alone with 2 babies, a double stroller, and all of the usual accoutrements of a long weekend away including a breastpump and a big bag of clothes gifted to us by another IF blogger, but honestly I think that it was the new-to-us brio train set in the hall which impressed him the most:
We go carry-on. And it wasn't all that bad.
Of course, my apologies to the dear old man in Seat 21B (across from the mini-toilet on a small plane). I know your seat is sucky and smelly and it probably doesn't help to have a toddler sitting on the toilet across the aisle from you with the bathroom door wide open, but really, there was no way I could fit into the bathroom while carrying baby and close the door.
And while we're at it:
- Thanks to the five TSA guys down South who helped put us back together after the fusspot freaked out about having her new teddy x-rayed.
- And the lovely visitors to NC who entertained the fusspot for the better part of an hour while we waited for the bus home from the airport (huge crash at LGA yesterday and all car/bus traffic in and out of the airport was shut down for a while)
- And thanks to everyone on the bus who politely ignored the rather loud conversation between a tired mama and her toddler about "I need to pee!" which resulted in said mama opening her suitcase (on a moving bus) and diapering her reluctant toddler (on a moving bus), all while holding a baby in a sling (on a moving bus)
- And of course to the restaurant across from the bus stop when said tired mama and baby and toddler dashed in to use your bathroom without making any pretense at all of planning to eat at your restaurant
- And to our neighbor who came to meet us at the bus stop and walk us home
- And to the other neighbor who did not in fact dump our laundry even though she was obviously considering it when I saw her. Because the last thing that this tired mama wanted to do was to re-wash a load of dirty laundry necessitated by the fact that the fusspot decided to poo in her pants about 2 minutes after walking into our apartment after an accident-free 9 hours of travel (she did not even pee in the diaper on the bus when given the option)
Me, equally casually: "Of course, I always go carry-on on domestic flights."
Him: "Huh."
Which I will totally take as a statement of admiration.
Sure, I was flying alone with 2 babies, a double stroller, and all of the usual accoutrements of a long weekend away including a breastpump and a big bag of clothes gifted to us by another IF blogger, but honestly I think that it was the new-to-us brio train set in the hall which impressed him the most:
We go carry-on. And it wasn't all that bad.
Of course, my apologies to the dear old man in Seat 21B (across from the mini-toilet on a small plane). I know your seat is sucky and smelly and it probably doesn't help to have a toddler sitting on the toilet across the aisle from you with the bathroom door wide open, but really, there was no way I could fit into the bathroom while carrying baby and close the door.
And while we're at it:
- Thanks to the five TSA guys down South who helped put us back together after the fusspot freaked out about having her new teddy x-rayed.
- And the lovely visitors to NC who entertained the fusspot for the better part of an hour while we waited for the bus home from the airport (huge crash at LGA yesterday and all car/bus traffic in and out of the airport was shut down for a while)
- And thanks to everyone on the bus who politely ignored the rather loud conversation between a tired mama and her toddler about "I need to pee!" which resulted in said mama opening her suitcase (on a moving bus) and diapering her reluctant toddler (on a moving bus), all while holding a baby in a sling (on a moving bus)
- And of course to the restaurant across from the bus stop when said tired mama and baby and toddler dashed in to use your bathroom without making any pretense at all of planning to eat at your restaurant
- And to our neighbor who came to meet us at the bus stop and walk us home
- And to the other neighbor who did not in fact dump our laundry even though she was obviously considering it when I saw her. Because the last thing that this tired mama wanted to do was to re-wash a load of dirty laundry necessitated by the fact that the fusspot decided to poo in her pants about 2 minutes after walking into our apartment after an accident-free 9 hours of travel (she did not even pee in the diaper on the bus when given the option)
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
marching along
(and yes, stroller post soon)
I finally caved and went to talk to someone about PPD. Mostly because of a single incident where I imploded at my darling husband at a rather unfortunate moment. I had finally caved, call the babysitter and a restaurant and we had plans to go out just the 2 of us for the first time in ... 7 months. Huh.
And then everything fell apart. The fusspot bit her lip at bedtime (which she'd bit the day before) resulting in a lot of crying and blood and new sheets. The baby refused to nurse, making me worried about going out without a pump. I had to put in a load of laundry (ice cream on the way home resulted in chocolate ice cream smeared into the stroller straps ...), I got an e-mail I had to respond to ... and I just couldn't handle it. I couldn't even manage to call the poor babysitter who arrived at our doorstep only to be told to go home (ok, she lives 8 feet away. It wasn't that awful).
And the appointment was ... an utter waste of time. Yeah, there's probably something hormonal going on. No, I'm not really a good candidate for meds at the moment. We could "talk" some but when 5 minutes in Dear Dr. Clueless asked whether the dumpling was "planned" I realized it wasn't going to go so well. Yeah, I'd already mentioned the IF but beyond that ... so what? What if he was an "accident"? What if this was poor timing on our part? (Not that I in any way think that's true). It's a little late to think about returning him, eh?
Yeah, my life is a bit overwhelming. I wish that I didn't single parent 6 days a week. I wish that I had more daycare (the dumpling can only go about 12-14 hours a week until mid-August because of the other family's schedule). I wish my back wasn't so painful. I wish my toddler slept through the night. I wish I had time for PT. I wish that I had a housekeeper. I wish that I didn't land up doing the dishes/laundry/cleaning/planning/cooking most of the time. I wish that I wasn't under a huge amount of pressure from work.
But none of that is really going to change, and what I need to work on is coping mechanisms.
I have a wonderful husband. I have 2 beautiful, healthy babies. I have a lovely apartment in a lovely city and a decent scattering of casual friends around. I have 2 really good close friends, even if both live abroad. I have the money to order take-out if I'm tired or ask a friend's nanny to come help out one evening a week. I am going to join a new synagogue next month when we move and hopefully met some nice people there.
Which is all to say that not much has changed, but I am firmly resolved to get through it. Oh, and finish up this silly degree too. And get a real job. Who knows, my blog may actually transition from whiny to inspirational in the next 12 months.
And now I'm off to the airport with my 2 babies in tow to visit my parents. Do wish my luck on that friend. Biting my tongue is one of those fundamental skills I should probably work on.
I finally caved and went to talk to someone about PPD. Mostly because of a single incident where I imploded at my darling husband at a rather unfortunate moment. I had finally caved, call the babysitter and a restaurant and we had plans to go out just the 2 of us for the first time in ... 7 months. Huh.
And then everything fell apart. The fusspot bit her lip at bedtime (which she'd bit the day before) resulting in a lot of crying and blood and new sheets. The baby refused to nurse, making me worried about going out without a pump. I had to put in a load of laundry (ice cream on the way home resulted in chocolate ice cream smeared into the stroller straps ...), I got an e-mail I had to respond to ... and I just couldn't handle it. I couldn't even manage to call the poor babysitter who arrived at our doorstep only to be told to go home (ok, she lives 8 feet away. It wasn't that awful).
And the appointment was ... an utter waste of time. Yeah, there's probably something hormonal going on. No, I'm not really a good candidate for meds at the moment. We could "talk" some but when 5 minutes in Dear Dr. Clueless asked whether the dumpling was "planned" I realized it wasn't going to go so well. Yeah, I'd already mentioned the IF but beyond that ... so what? What if he was an "accident"? What if this was poor timing on our part? (Not that I in any way think that's true). It's a little late to think about returning him, eh?
Yeah, my life is a bit overwhelming. I wish that I didn't single parent 6 days a week. I wish that I had more daycare (the dumpling can only go about 12-14 hours a week until mid-August because of the other family's schedule). I wish my back wasn't so painful. I wish my toddler slept through the night. I wish I had time for PT. I wish that I had a housekeeper. I wish that I didn't land up doing the dishes/laundry/cleaning/planning/cooking most of the time. I wish that I wasn't under a huge amount of pressure from work.
But none of that is really going to change, and what I need to work on is coping mechanisms.
I have a wonderful husband. I have 2 beautiful, healthy babies. I have a lovely apartment in a lovely city and a decent scattering of casual friends around. I have 2 really good close friends, even if both live abroad. I have the money to order take-out if I'm tired or ask a friend's nanny to come help out one evening a week. I am going to join a new synagogue next month when we move and hopefully met some nice people there.
Which is all to say that not much has changed, but I am firmly resolved to get through it. Oh, and finish up this silly degree too. And get a real job. Who knows, my blog may actually transition from whiny to inspirational in the next 12 months.
And now I'm off to the airport with my 2 babies in tow to visit my parents. Do wish my luck on that friend. Biting my tongue is one of those fundamental skills I should probably work on.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
I really am trying to break out of this rut
because I seem to have fallen into a rather sad rut. I snapped at my toddler today, and I never do that (this is not to boast. We all have different parenting strengths and one of mine is never, ever snapping or yelling).
Yesterday I was so frustrated with the-baby-who-is-only-happy-while-being-held (but delightfully happy as long as he is upright or snuggled next to a warm body. So content that my darling dumpling slept 12.5 hours last night with only one snack in the midst) and the toddler who kept waking the baby-who-is-only-happy-when-being-held ("I don't want to be quiet!" suggests both that she understood the issue at hand, and, well, had her own agenda) that I placed my semi-nude toddler (i.e. undies only, shul-appropriate dress, cardigan and shoes dangling off the stroller) and cranky baby in the stroller and vowed to walk until they both calmed down (for the record, it took under a mile and we still made it to shul on time although the fusspot got stuck with non-matching shoes due to our hurried departure).
I think that I have just lost my coping mechanisms. Little things which really don't matter in the big scheme are affecting me.
To the former friend who has a passworded blog, bad idea to forget who you gave the password to. Because you see, posting that you were in NYC last week and it was incredible!!! to see all of your favorite people in one short week, complete with photos of all the friends you saw, well, in all honesty it stings a little bit.
And to one of my closest friends (thankfully there's still an "s" there but we're getting awfully close to the singular), I really do understand that you are busy. But see, since you're moving abroad again for an indefinite period and all, it would have been nice if you'd talked to me about your plan to visit pre-departure so that I could have told you I would be out of town that week.
And to all of my colleagues without kids, I do understand that it would be a complete and utter waste to leave my program at this particular junction. The type of waste that even my children might ask in 10 years what exactly I did with my mid to late-20s ... but there is such a thing as a sunk cost. And while I can work non-stop and give it my all, that also means that I will wake up in September with a dirty house, a husband I haven't spoken to in weeks, and a 6 month old. And at some point it may or may not be worth it.
But for the moment it's only 10 pm on Saturday night and I am back to work for at least another 4-5 hours.
Yesterday I was so frustrated with the-baby-who-is-only-happy-while-being-held (but delightfully happy as long as he is upright or snuggled next to a warm body. So content that my darling dumpling slept 12.5 hours last night with only one snack in the midst) and the toddler who kept waking the baby-who-is-only-happy-when-being-held ("I don't want to be quiet!" suggests both that she understood the issue at hand, and, well, had her own agenda) that I placed my semi-nude toddler (i.e. undies only, shul-appropriate dress, cardigan and shoes dangling off the stroller) and cranky baby in the stroller and vowed to walk until they both calmed down (for the record, it took under a mile and we still made it to shul on time although the fusspot got stuck with non-matching shoes due to our hurried departure).
I think that I have just lost my coping mechanisms. Little things which really don't matter in the big scheme are affecting me.
To the former friend who has a passworded blog, bad idea to forget who you gave the password to. Because you see, posting that you were in NYC last week and it was incredible!!! to see all of your favorite people in one short week, complete with photos of all the friends you saw, well, in all honesty it stings a little bit.
And to one of my closest friends (thankfully there's still an "s" there but we're getting awfully close to the singular), I really do understand that you are busy. But see, since you're moving abroad again for an indefinite period and all, it would have been nice if you'd talked to me about your plan to visit pre-departure so that I could have told you I would be out of town that week.
And to all of my colleagues without kids, I do understand that it would be a complete and utter waste to leave my program at this particular junction. The type of waste that even my children might ask in 10 years what exactly I did with my mid to late-20s ... but there is such a thing as a sunk cost. And while I can work non-stop and give it my all, that also means that I will wake up in September with a dirty house, a husband I haven't spoken to in weeks, and a 6 month old. And at some point it may or may not be worth it.
But for the moment it's only 10 pm on Saturday night and I am back to work for at least another 4-5 hours.
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