This type of article just pisses me off. In total it states that home fetal monitors may be dangerous because women receive false assurance that everything is ok and don't seek medical attention.
Any woman who has dealt with a high-risk pregnancy can tell you that 99% of the time that you call the doctor/midwife/receptionist/IF clinic with 'concern's they will tell you to wait and call back in a day ... or two ... or longer ... and that's even presuming you can get in touch with anyone.
I know. I had a baby who refused to kick. For weeks and weeks and weeks. And every 48 hours when I'd call to check in the midwife would tell me to call back 'if there was no movement in 48 hours' ... repeated ad nauseum throughout my entire honeymoon. For the record, within 2 minutes of my feeling movement JD could also feel it (and the placenta was not in a weird position - it was checked many times). And every new doctor/nurse/student in the GD clinic would tell me to call if I couldn't get a kick count of 10 by 10 am. I never got a kick count of ten when pregnant with the fusspot. Not one single day.
I think not getting a fetal monitor was one of my biggest regrets. I wasted so many, many hours not just stressing but waiting on hold and endlessly repeating my address and callback number and insurance info. Should I ever have the chance to be pregnant again, I"ll be ordering one right after my beta (I never did get a beta last time either ...)
Friday, November 6, 2009
Now where were we?
Right. No computer for 9 days. I can't even tell you how unfortunate that is under the current circumstances: no talking to JD, working by hand all day long, no blogs, no music at dinner, walking 30 minutes to the apple store every day to check my e-mail (there are no more internet cafes in my little city), no playdates/drinks because I can't make plans with anyone ...
But we are through the darkness, folks. 9 days, 100 euros, and 2 loud temper tantrums later my believed laptop has a new harddrive (yes, it's under warranty. The 100 euros were for an 'express' warranty service. 'Express'=9 days????)
A few tidbits from my absence:
- The fusspot is now crawling, pulling up, and the proud wearer of 3 teeth.
- I have slept a combined 4 hours in the past 2 nights.
- I actually went upstairs and offered my boarder earplugs at 3 am yesterday night.
- I also carried the fusspot in her stroller up and down 91 flights of stairs in the metro. The Pa.r.is metro, to be precise.
- Pa.r.is has the very best goo.dw.ill stores ever. The fusspot now has 4 designer French dresses at $3 a piece. Such fun.
- I can now say that I have sat in the front window of an elegant restaurant in an elegant city with my shirt half off. If your baby had finally fallen asleep at 9 pm after a napless day and all you wanted was to drink a glass of white wine before she woke up, you would have too.
- She screamed her way through her first carousel ride. I loved it. I love carousels, even while holding a displeased baby.
- Snap happy tourists stopped me at least 10 times during our mini-vacation to ask if they could photograph my baby. Little thoughts like this are not just boasting, but necessary to get me through the long, slow, tedious process of teething combined with an awful cold (the fusspot) and a sore throat and headache (me).
- My much beloved and previously lauded bumgenius diapers are in trouble. Serious black mold spot trouble on the outside PUL part of three of them. Any advice much appreciated. Definitely planning to call customer service tonight.
- The good news is that we've now had a poo-free-diaper week. And several quite dry diapers. My baby may not sign, talk, or move very much but she is a potty-super star. Ah well, I guess we all have our strengths.
- My milk supply is dropping. Could be exhaustion, could be that the fusspot is eating so much food now. But the daycare wants two full bottles - no matter what (she is the only child getting breastmilk there, so they really don't believe that she doesn't need 10 oz of pumped milk in an 8 hour day).
- I thought I would be devastated by prior item. I would be had I not found the most incredible local, lightly pasteurized organic farmers milk at market. The first day I found it I drank a liter and then went back to buy 3 more. I am quite sure the fusspot will love it (lightly pasteurizing doesn't break up the fat as much so it tastes sweeter - someone not from Lalaland please tell me that this is safe - everyone here thinks it is).
- The local, organic milk stand also sells local, organic chocolate pudding. I just had it for breakfast and now I'm off to a 10 minute power nap and then work. Local, organic chocolate pudding is the best breakfast ever.
But we are through the darkness, folks. 9 days, 100 euros, and 2 loud temper tantrums later my believed laptop has a new harddrive (yes, it's under warranty. The 100 euros were for an 'express' warranty service. 'Express'=9 days????)
A few tidbits from my absence:
- The fusspot is now crawling, pulling up, and the proud wearer of 3 teeth.
- I have slept a combined 4 hours in the past 2 nights.
- I actually went upstairs and offered my boarder earplugs at 3 am yesterday night.
- I also carried the fusspot in her stroller up and down 91 flights of stairs in the metro. The Pa.r.is metro, to be precise.
- Pa.r.is has the very best goo.dw.ill stores ever. The fusspot now has 4 designer French dresses at $3 a piece. Such fun.
- I can now say that I have sat in the front window of an elegant restaurant in an elegant city with my shirt half off. If your baby had finally fallen asleep at 9 pm after a napless day and all you wanted was to drink a glass of white wine before she woke up, you would have too.
- She screamed her way through her first carousel ride. I loved it. I love carousels, even while holding a displeased baby.
- Snap happy tourists stopped me at least 10 times during our mini-vacation to ask if they could photograph my baby. Little thoughts like this are not just boasting, but necessary to get me through the long, slow, tedious process of teething combined with an awful cold (the fusspot) and a sore throat and headache (me).
- My much beloved and previously lauded bumgenius diapers are in trouble. Serious black mold spot trouble on the outside PUL part of three of them. Any advice much appreciated. Definitely planning to call customer service tonight.
- The good news is that we've now had a poo-free-diaper week. And several quite dry diapers. My baby may not sign, talk, or move very much but she is a potty-super star. Ah well, I guess we all have our strengths.
- My milk supply is dropping. Could be exhaustion, could be that the fusspot is eating so much food now. But the daycare wants two full bottles - no matter what (she is the only child getting breastmilk there, so they really don't believe that she doesn't need 10 oz of pumped milk in an 8 hour day).
- I thought I would be devastated by prior item. I would be had I not found the most incredible local, lightly pasteurized organic farmers milk at market. The first day I found it I drank a liter and then went back to buy 3 more. I am quite sure the fusspot will love it (lightly pasteurizing doesn't break up the fat as much so it tastes sweeter - someone not from Lalaland please tell me that this is safe - everyone here thinks it is).
- The local, organic milk stand also sells local, organic chocolate pudding. I just had it for breakfast and now I'm off to a 10 minute power nap and then work. Local, organic chocolate pudding is the best breakfast ever.
Friday, October 30, 2009
No stroller; no internets
We are doing fine, really.
But my stroller is broken and my computer needs a new harddrive.
I do not expect to post again until I have it back.
Back in 2-3 weeks according to apple in Lalaland.
But my stroller is broken and my computer needs a new harddrive.
I do not expect to post again until I have it back.
Back in 2-3 weeks according to apple in Lalaland.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Cutting off her career choices already
I am a huge lover of go.odwill, yard sales, cra.ig.slist, and dumpster shopping (the source of a good 80% of JD and my furniture) but I just couldn't grab this clean, newish-looking playset off the street near my apartment.
It's not that I have anything against pretend play or fine fast food chefs, but I just couldn't quite wrap my head around how I would explain this to JD:
It's not that I have anything against pretend play or fine fast food chefs, but I just couldn't quite wrap my head around how I would explain this to JD:
Sunday, October 25, 2009
New topics
Time for new and more positive topics.
1. Weight loss. I'm pretty sure that I've finally hit my goal of 140, if not a bit less (no scale to be found to confirm). I am back in my pre-pregnancy pants and they are actually getting rather loose. Sadly I'm pretty sure this trick will be hard to replicate in the U.S., and especially in NYC. Quite simply, food here in Lalaland is pretty bleak, especially for a kosher-family with a strong penchant for really spicy ethnic food. So everything is bland and expensive and the produce is really bad so I haven't been snacking as much. And of course we're on foot all the time here. The fusspot and I probably spend at least an hour a day walking - 15 minutes each way to drop her at daycare and then another 15 minutes to pick her up, 10 each way to work, 15 if I go to the university, another 10 to the supermarket ... it adds up really quickly. And it is rather remarkable that in my little city there are no obese people and only a handful of plump ones. Really, truly. It's certainly not because the food is healthier here because if anything they eat either super-rich meat stuff or carbs, carbs, carbs and fruits and veggies are really expensive and hard to find (i.e. couldn't find either avocado or sweet potatos for weeks here when I was looking for good first baby foods). Also low-carb or sugar-free items are basically non-existent. So I credit the bland and boring and lack of public transport through the middle of my pre-modern city with the weight loss. No easy solutions for anyone still struggling.
2. the big trip is ON. And I am in full-out planning mode:
- scheduled consult with travel doc for me (trying to figure out if japan.ese en.ce.phali.tis vax is safe while breastfeeding)
- contacted the fusspot's ped about early vaccines (anyone know about getting Dtap early?) [If you're wondering, we vaccinate. Fully. Mostly on schedule. We're science people - science gave us our beautiful fusspot and we believe in our social responsibility to those who cannot be vaccinated. If you want to read what I consider a very-well written post on the subject by someone far more articulate than I, I'd recommend the second post down by City Girl Tales and following the links at the bottom].
- found place to store our personal effects while on said trip
- found plane tickets (to be purchased tomorrow)
- asked friend to buy train tickets to incredible, fabulous places such as this and this (and told her she had to find a carseat for our visit - she's already acquired one)
- started puzzling over how exactly to get a visa since I cannot hand over my passport for any period of time (although the fusspot and I are now both legal residents of Lalaland!!!). Any suggestions on getting a visa to the land-of-backpackers when you are not resident in the USA?
I know this post is dull, so here's the new excitement on the walk to the fusspot's daycare. It cracks us up every time we pass it (which may suggest we don't have the most sophisticated senses of humor between us):
(In case you can't tell, the digger is floating on a barge in the canal in front of the fusspot's daycare).
1. Weight loss. I'm pretty sure that I've finally hit my goal of 140, if not a bit less (no scale to be found to confirm). I am back in my pre-pregnancy pants and they are actually getting rather loose. Sadly I'm pretty sure this trick will be hard to replicate in the U.S., and especially in NYC. Quite simply, food here in Lalaland is pretty bleak, especially for a kosher-family with a strong penchant for really spicy ethnic food. So everything is bland and expensive and the produce is really bad so I haven't been snacking as much. And of course we're on foot all the time here. The fusspot and I probably spend at least an hour a day walking - 15 minutes each way to drop her at daycare and then another 15 minutes to pick her up, 10 each way to work, 15 if I go to the university, another 10 to the supermarket ... it adds up really quickly. And it is rather remarkable that in my little city there are no obese people and only a handful of plump ones. Really, truly. It's certainly not because the food is healthier here because if anything they eat either super-rich meat stuff or carbs, carbs, carbs and fruits and veggies are really expensive and hard to find (i.e. couldn't find either avocado or sweet potatos for weeks here when I was looking for good first baby foods). Also low-carb or sugar-free items are basically non-existent. So I credit the bland and boring and lack of public transport through the middle of my pre-modern city with the weight loss. No easy solutions for anyone still struggling.
2. the big trip is ON. And I am in full-out planning mode:
- scheduled consult with travel doc for me (trying to figure out if japan.ese en.ce.phali.tis vax is safe while breastfeeding)
- contacted the fusspot's ped about early vaccines (anyone know about getting Dtap early?) [If you're wondering, we vaccinate. Fully. Mostly on schedule. We're science people - science gave us our beautiful fusspot and we believe in our social responsibility to those who cannot be vaccinated. If you want to read what I consider a very-well written post on the subject by someone far more articulate than I, I'd recommend the second post down by City Girl Tales and following the links at the bottom].
- found place to store our personal effects while on said trip
- found plane tickets (to be purchased tomorrow)
- asked friend to buy train tickets to incredible, fabulous places such as this and this (and told her she had to find a carseat for our visit - she's already acquired one)
- started puzzling over how exactly to get a visa since I cannot hand over my passport for any period of time (although the fusspot and I are now both legal residents of Lalaland!!!). Any suggestions on getting a visa to the land-of-backpackers when you are not resident in the USA?
I know this post is dull, so here's the new excitement on the walk to the fusspot's daycare. It cracks us up every time we pass it (which may suggest we don't have the most sophisticated senses of humor between us):
(In case you can't tell, the digger is floating on a barge in the canal in front of the fusspot's daycare).
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Struggling
In case it's not apparent by the silence over here, I'm struggling this week.
When people ask me about single parenting I'm usually all rainbows! and unicorns! and my husband works 70 hours a week anyway! so he does not ever have time to help. Whee! And the truth is that it usually is just fine.
And then a little thing little 2 teeth (her first) throws the whole thing out of balance. And it's really not so much the sleep and related diaper rash and waking up every 2 hours to nurse her back to sleep as much as the criticism. Basically everyone I know thinks I ought to just let her CIO. Let alone that we co-sleep so I have no idea how that would work (do I flee to the couch when she wakes up mid-night?) Oh, and the terrifying fear that I'm just not getting enough work done and that my 'sacrificing' my sleep is actually going to hurt my work.
I just wish I could get a little more support for my parenting choices because 95% of the time they work well for us. But I keep hearing echos of "you're making it harder for yourself" from my mother and husband (and always MIL but she's not exactly my parenting model at the moment despite being a wonderful, loving mother). Yes, it's awful that the fusspot wants to be nursed back to sleep whenever she wakes up. But it is so much easier for me than walking her (we have no rocking chair here) and I have yet to find anything else that works (and I have tried quite a few things, including in desperation one night allowing her to mash bread and cheese into the bed just because I needed to check that she wasn't actually hungry).
I know that my productivity is lower when she wakes up multiple times during the night. And I really count on being able to do housework from 8 to 9 pm and then put in 3-4 more hours of work before going to bed myself. But I just don't see an easy solution. I don't have anyone I can share the night-parenting with and I'm just not ready to leave my baby alone in a dark room screaming her head off (and this is not a criticism of anyone who has chosen CIO. I have worked/lived with families who used it very successfully. I just don't see it as the right choice for the fusspot and I at the moment).
The absurd thing is that she is truly a great sleeper when not sick or teething. From the moment I get into bed until I wake up she usually sleeps without interruption - something like 12am/1am to 8 am. And most nights she also sleeps from 8 pm until midnight, waking up perhaps once. So I really oughtn't to be complaining except that I need those hours from 8 pm to midnight to work, and I also need my 7-8 hours of sleep. And except for one new friend here (a SAHM extended breastfeeder, if you get my drift) and one long-time friend who also did not work, I get nothing but criticism for my choice to breastfeed/cosleep/use the "baby lead weaning" method to feed the fussopt (oh the mess every night!)/cloth diaper and do EC. And maybe I am just making it harder for myself - beats me.
When people ask me about single parenting I'm usually all rainbows! and unicorns! and my husband works 70 hours a week anyway! so he does not ever have time to help. Whee! And the truth is that it usually is just fine.
And then a little thing little 2 teeth (her first) throws the whole thing out of balance. And it's really not so much the sleep and related diaper rash and waking up every 2 hours to nurse her back to sleep as much as the criticism. Basically everyone I know thinks I ought to just let her CIO. Let alone that we co-sleep so I have no idea how that would work (do I flee to the couch when she wakes up mid-night?) Oh, and the terrifying fear that I'm just not getting enough work done and that my 'sacrificing' my sleep is actually going to hurt my work.
I just wish I could get a little more support for my parenting choices because 95% of the time they work well for us. But I keep hearing echos of "you're making it harder for yourself" from my mother and husband (and always MIL but she's not exactly my parenting model at the moment despite being a wonderful, loving mother). Yes, it's awful that the fusspot wants to be nursed back to sleep whenever she wakes up. But it is so much easier for me than walking her (we have no rocking chair here) and I have yet to find anything else that works (and I have tried quite a few things, including in desperation one night allowing her to mash bread and cheese into the bed just because I needed to check that she wasn't actually hungry).
I know that my productivity is lower when she wakes up multiple times during the night. And I really count on being able to do housework from 8 to 9 pm and then put in 3-4 more hours of work before going to bed myself. But I just don't see an easy solution. I don't have anyone I can share the night-parenting with and I'm just not ready to leave my baby alone in a dark room screaming her head off (and this is not a criticism of anyone who has chosen CIO. I have worked/lived with families who used it very successfully. I just don't see it as the right choice for the fusspot and I at the moment).
The absurd thing is that she is truly a great sleeper when not sick or teething. From the moment I get into bed until I wake up she usually sleeps without interruption - something like 12am/1am to 8 am. And most nights she also sleeps from 8 pm until midnight, waking up perhaps once. So I really oughtn't to be complaining except that I need those hours from 8 pm to midnight to work, and I also need my 7-8 hours of sleep. And except for one new friend here (a SAHM extended breastfeeder, if you get my drift) and one long-time friend who also did not work, I get nothing but criticism for my choice to breastfeed/cosleep/use the "baby lead weaning" method to feed the fussopt (oh the mess every night!)/cloth diaper and do EC. And maybe I am just making it harder for myself - beats me.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
my beautiful baby
is not always welcome. And it makes me so mad.
The Jewish community in my little town in Lalaland is tiny. Tiny enough to only hold services once a month. The fusspot and I walked in yesterday morning for the first time and literally the very first thing that the president's wife said to me when I sat down was:
"A bit oriental looking, isn't she [for a Jewish baby]?" (my translation, of course)
I wish that I had profound thoughts to share on the matter, just like I wish I had more profound thoughts on gender expectations, but the truth is that I am often just relieved that the fusspot is too young to understand what's going on. Of course, that's not exactly a long-term strategy for dealing with this. My grandparents were rather racist and I am well aware that racist people can otherwise be wonderful and kind. I also know that this community went through so much during the war and they feel extraordinarily threatened (as they will should) that they will be the last generation of observant Jews in Lalaland. And of course the fusspot and I were the only two people under 30 in the building. But it still just feels like a dagger-filled wall that is thrown up the moment we walk into certain places and I struggle with wondering whether we oughtn't to protect the fusspot by not placing her in such situations, or whether we ought to blindly flail our way through in the faith that we still belong in the community I was raised in.
The Jewish community in my little town in Lalaland is tiny. Tiny enough to only hold services once a month. The fusspot and I walked in yesterday morning for the first time and literally the very first thing that the president's wife said to me when I sat down was:
"A bit oriental looking, isn't she [for a Jewish baby]?" (my translation, of course)
I wish that I had profound thoughts to share on the matter, just like I wish I had more profound thoughts on gender expectations, but the truth is that I am often just relieved that the fusspot is too young to understand what's going on. Of course, that's not exactly a long-term strategy for dealing with this. My grandparents were rather racist and I am well aware that racist people can otherwise be wonderful and kind. I also know that this community went through so much during the war and they feel extraordinarily threatened (as they will should) that they will be the last generation of observant Jews in Lalaland. And of course the fusspot and I were the only two people under 30 in the building. But it still just feels like a dagger-filled wall that is thrown up the moment we walk into certain places and I struggle with wondering whether we oughtn't to protect the fusspot by not placing her in such situations, or whether we ought to blindly flail our way through in the faith that we still belong in the community I was raised in.
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