Not so much new this weekend. JD is still sick (and feverish). I now have a bad cold, but no fever yet. He's definitely still chasing me around the apartment ...
We finished up our 15 hours of childbirth classes and final 3 hours of breastfeeding class. The breastfeeding instructor was fabulous, but it was still targeted at SAHM's and pumping/work/schedule was covered very briefly. I need to buy a little cooler to transport breastmilk come Feb. 1 when I start commuting ...
JD was pretty hysterical after class. I was changing and he sat on the corner of the bed and gave my breasts a very thorough and scientific examination. And then pronounced his concern that they might just be a bit big for the wonderbaby ... cracked me up.
And now it's almost 9 pm and I'm waiting for the rabbi to call me. I have been putting off meeting with the rabbi to discuss our poor baby's naming, but it's time to get it over with. Without going into the details too much, we're in a bit of an odd dilemma because in a traditional synagogue the father announces the birth of a daughter and her name, but JD can't do that in our synagogue and I want to figure out what to do instead ... this should be as awkward and uncomfortable a conversation as can be given that this is not the rabbi who married us and he has only briefly met JD. I was going to scout out a back-up synagogue for the naming but I've just been too tired, and honestly too lazy to walk another mile or even half mile to services on Friday night. Hopefully I'll get this resolved tonight, or at least this week.
And finally, our doula was very insistent that we should consider acupuncture to help with a natural induction and GD. I'm a bit of a skeptic and not too thrilled about the whole needles aspect of acupuncture (there are plenty enough needles in my life as is) but I think I'll at least call this week. Any advice for me on getting psyched for acupuncture? Is this something that I need to have faith in/relax during for it to work? Any converted skeptics out there?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
A little explanation: 24 hours or less
Thank you all for your suggestions in response to our insurance gap. I really appreciate it.
I noticed several comments asking why I would be in the hospital for such a short stay. Quite simply, this is not that unusual for NYC. A standard stay is no more than 48 hours, and in order to give birth in the birthing center you have to agree to a release in as few as 6 hours after birth and not more than 24 hours. Honestly, I don't really mind and one of my main criteria in choosing a pediatrician was one who would release our newborn in less than 48 hours should I get moved to L and D because of complications.
Why?
Let's see:
- In regular L and D if you give birth after visiting hours your husband gets -1 hour- to stay with you and the baby. Then he is sent home till visiting hours the next morning at 10am. In the birthing center my husband will stay with me from the delivery until discharge.
- Oh, that also leaves you all alone with your baby immediately post-partum (I am not exaggerating. A friend gave birth at 11 pm and by midnight she was supposed to care for her baby in her hospital room and the nurses were too busy to help. All she wanted was someone to change the baby's diaper and hand the baby to her for the first 24 hours so she didn't have to keep getting out of bed ...)
- Ok, not quite alone: you'll be sharing a hospital room. So not only will you be up every 2 hours with your baby but also every 2 hours when your roommate's baby cries and for all that there are no visiting hours at night, they are continuous from 10 am to 8 pm so it's quite possible that you will have a roomful of your roomate's visitors -all day long.- In my 2 hospital tours I walked past 3 rooms with sick toddlers running around visiting their new siblings. Not so great for the other family.
- Yes, you can pay for a private room. At $750 -per night- that is well beyond our means.
- I have a million food restrictions between keeping kosher, GD, GI problems, etc. and I don't relish eating hospital food for 48 hours. The hospital does not have a fridge or microwave for patients to use, unlike the birthing center (and obviously they do have one for the nurses to use)
- Yes, our hospital has a nursery. They strongly discourage using it if you are breastfeeding. In fact, it's been empty every time I've been in the hospital (which is quite frequently nowadays).
- Everyone encourages sleeping near your baby for the first day or two, but the regular L and D has regular hospital beds. Yes, some people can manage to comfortably keep their baby in them - I don't see myself being one of them. The birthing center has queen-sized beds so you can rest with your baby and partner, or put the baby in a co-sleeper next to the bed.
- And for the record the 'birthing center' we hope to use is one floor away from L and D, so it takes under a minute for them to transfer you should any problems arise.
Honestly, I'm pretty happy about the idea of coming home a few hours after birth. Sure, the cab ride will suck but after that I'll be able to just relax and JD can help with the baby for the first 48 hours or so ('till he goes back to work - such fun). No need to worry about roommates or germs or being woken up on the hospital's schedule or someone formula-feeding the baby when I'm not looking.
And please, please, please don't recommend switching midwives or hospitals. It shows absolutely no recognition of what medical practice and liability are like in NYC. When I tried to find a midwife or ob/gyn at 11 weeks pregnant, I was put on 14 waitlists and told that at least 4 places had already closed their waitlists (feel free to look in my archives -there are several panicked posts about it). NYC is massively understaffed for ob/gyns and it is 100% not an option to switch doctors or hospitals (my midwife only delivers at this hospital, and it's quite famous for being nicer to post-partum women. It really is one of the sheesiest hospitals in the city). I was seriously told that I might have to go to the ER to deliver by several exclusive clinics which book up when women are 4-6 weeks pregnant.*
But of course there is this little issue that the birthing center makes you sign a waiver that they will not do PKU testing and you must agree to have it done within 5 days of birth at your pediatrician's ... still working on that one.
* And I'm pretty sure that ob/gyns are full in most parts of the U.S. I didn't want to burn any bridges until I left City X so I never actually told my ob/gyn that I was leaving. I thought I'd remember to call after I left, but I didn't. And they never, ever contacted me via phone or mail to ask why I stopped showing up. Makes me think they have enough patients without my business.
I noticed several comments asking why I would be in the hospital for such a short stay. Quite simply, this is not that unusual for NYC. A standard stay is no more than 48 hours, and in order to give birth in the birthing center you have to agree to a release in as few as 6 hours after birth and not more than 24 hours. Honestly, I don't really mind and one of my main criteria in choosing a pediatrician was one who would release our newborn in less than 48 hours should I get moved to L and D because of complications.
Why?
Let's see:
- In regular L and D if you give birth after visiting hours your husband gets -1 hour- to stay with you and the baby. Then he is sent home till visiting hours the next morning at 10am. In the birthing center my husband will stay with me from the delivery until discharge.
- Oh, that also leaves you all alone with your baby immediately post-partum (I am not exaggerating. A friend gave birth at 11 pm and by midnight she was supposed to care for her baby in her hospital room and the nurses were too busy to help. All she wanted was someone to change the baby's diaper and hand the baby to her for the first 24 hours so she didn't have to keep getting out of bed ...)
- Ok, not quite alone: you'll be sharing a hospital room. So not only will you be up every 2 hours with your baby but also every 2 hours when your roommate's baby cries and for all that there are no visiting hours at night, they are continuous from 10 am to 8 pm so it's quite possible that you will have a roomful of your roomate's visitors -all day long.- In my 2 hospital tours I walked past 3 rooms with sick toddlers running around visiting their new siblings. Not so great for the other family.
- Yes, you can pay for a private room. At $750 -per night- that is well beyond our means.
- I have a million food restrictions between keeping kosher, GD, GI problems, etc. and I don't relish eating hospital food for 48 hours. The hospital does not have a fridge or microwave for patients to use, unlike the birthing center (and obviously they do have one for the nurses to use)
- Yes, our hospital has a nursery. They strongly discourage using it if you are breastfeeding. In fact, it's been empty every time I've been in the hospital (which is quite frequently nowadays).
- Everyone encourages sleeping near your baby for the first day or two, but the regular L and D has regular hospital beds. Yes, some people can manage to comfortably keep their baby in them - I don't see myself being one of them. The birthing center has queen-sized beds so you can rest with your baby and partner, or put the baby in a co-sleeper next to the bed.
- And for the record the 'birthing center' we hope to use is one floor away from L and D, so it takes under a minute for them to transfer you should any problems arise.
Honestly, I'm pretty happy about the idea of coming home a few hours after birth. Sure, the cab ride will suck but after that I'll be able to just relax and JD can help with the baby for the first 48 hours or so ('till he goes back to work - such fun). No need to worry about roommates or germs or being woken up on the hospital's schedule or someone formula-feeding the baby when I'm not looking.
And please, please, please don't recommend switching midwives or hospitals. It shows absolutely no recognition of what medical practice and liability are like in NYC. When I tried to find a midwife or ob/gyn at 11 weeks pregnant, I was put on 14 waitlists and told that at least 4 places had already closed their waitlists (feel free to look in my archives -there are several panicked posts about it). NYC is massively understaffed for ob/gyns and it is 100% not an option to switch doctors or hospitals (my midwife only delivers at this hospital, and it's quite famous for being nicer to post-partum women. It really is one of the sheesiest hospitals in the city). I was seriously told that I might have to go to the ER to deliver by several exclusive clinics which book up when women are 4-6 weeks pregnant.*
But of course there is this little issue that the birthing center makes you sign a waiver that they will not do PKU testing and you must agree to have it done within 5 days of birth at your pediatrician's ... still working on that one.
* And I'm pretty sure that ob/gyns are full in most parts of the U.S. I didn't want to burn any bridges until I left City X so I never actually told my ob/gyn that I was leaving. I thought I'd remember to call after I left, but I didn't. And they never, ever contacted me via phone or mail to ask why I stopped showing up. Makes me think they have enough patients without my business.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Boiling with rage
I never thought American insurance was perfect. I have been the 'pro bono' case of a specialist in NYC for four years now because my comprehensive insurance (by A.e.tna, one of the largest insurers in the U.S.) does not cover the care I need. And of course, they don't cover infertility at all. But I thought that at least my insurance would cover basic care for an infant ...
Here's the basic problem: PKU testing is mandated by NY State. If you refuse it, child protection services will come to your apartment and try to take your child (I know you can refuse it in other states but you can't here). Fine. I'm all pro-testing. But PKU testing -cannot- be done within 24 hours of birth because the child's temperature is not yet sufficiently regulated. And I will be released from the hospital before my infant is 24 hours old. Which means that I need this testing done at my pediatrician's. Which is -not- covered by my insurance. My insurance covers injury/illness/conjenital defects which are treated in-patient during the first 31 days. I.e. they will only cover procedures done in the hospital.
First of all, I cannot find an estimate of the cost on google. Nobody seems to pay out of pocket for this. Second, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a lot if they run the full genetic panel, which is recommended. Because of the paperwork mess my infant will not have her own insurance (with full benefits) until at least 10 days after birth. Which leaves me wondering what everyone else does ... I really just hope this is some awful misinformation provided by either my hospital, insurance or pediatrician. But thus far all three are sticking to their guns on trying to pass responsibility off on the other.
oh, and A.et.na didn't exactly give me the warm fuzzies when they kindly recommended I try to have a C-section so I could have a longer hospital stay and thus have all the necessary procedures done to my poor baby inpatient ... one more fine argument for the scheduled c-section here in NYC.
Here's the basic problem: PKU testing is mandated by NY State. If you refuse it, child protection services will come to your apartment and try to take your child (I know you can refuse it in other states but you can't here). Fine. I'm all pro-testing. But PKU testing -cannot- be done within 24 hours of birth because the child's temperature is not yet sufficiently regulated. And I will be released from the hospital before my infant is 24 hours old. Which means that I need this testing done at my pediatrician's. Which is -not- covered by my insurance. My insurance covers injury/illness/conjenital defects which are treated in-patient during the first 31 days. I.e. they will only cover procedures done in the hospital.
First of all, I cannot find an estimate of the cost on google. Nobody seems to pay out of pocket for this. Second, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a lot if they run the full genetic panel, which is recommended. Because of the paperwork mess my infant will not have her own insurance (with full benefits) until at least 10 days after birth. Which leaves me wondering what everyone else does ... I really just hope this is some awful misinformation provided by either my hospital, insurance or pediatrician. But thus far all three are sticking to their guns on trying to pass responsibility off on the other.
oh, and A.et.na didn't exactly give me the warm fuzzies when they kindly recommended I try to have a C-section so I could have a longer hospital stay and thus have all the necessary procedures done to my poor baby inpatient ... one more fine argument for the scheduled c-section here in NYC.
Not so cute as a (sick) toddler
My husband is sick. He has a fever, sore throat, and the beginnings of a cold.
Yes, I am of course, deeply sympathetic. However, I'd prefer to emote that sympathy from a safe distance.
Except, that when my husband gets sick he wants to cuddle. He wants me to give him backrubs. He wants to share my water bottle. I am deeply paranoid of getting sick at this exact moment. I do however feel like this paranoia is partially justified by:
- my utter inability to take any of the cold medicene he is so liberally indulging in
- the immense amount of work I need to finish before Thanksgiving
- that slight risk that I might still be sick when I go into labor
- feeling a bit slow/out of breath anyway
Needless to say he is feeling terribly neglected at the moment, and I am feeling more than slightly peeved at him. I do hope he feels better soon ... for both of us.
Yes, I am of course, deeply sympathetic. However, I'd prefer to emote that sympathy from a safe distance.
Except, that when my husband gets sick he wants to cuddle. He wants me to give him backrubs. He wants to share my water bottle. I am deeply paranoid of getting sick at this exact moment. I do however feel like this paranoia is partially justified by:
- my utter inability to take any of the cold medicene he is so liberally indulging in
- the immense amount of work I need to finish before Thanksgiving
- that slight risk that I might still be sick when I go into labor
- feeling a bit slow/out of breath anyway
Needless to say he is feeling terribly neglected at the moment, and I am feeling more than slightly peeved at him. I do hope he feels better soon ... for both of us.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
This is really normal?
I know, I've had a basically symptom and complication-free pregnancy thus far (except for the dreaded GD and the sleepiest baby ever, but neither is particularly serious) and I'm not writing to complain, but just wondering ...
Is it really normal to get out of breath and feel like you're going to faint? I find that this has been happening for the past several days, mostly in the mornings. Dr. Google indicates it could either be the baby squashing my lungs or anemia, but I'm already on the maximum dose of iron. Any suggestions for how to deal with this? I am more than a bit nervous about fainting on the streets of NYC, and since I don't look all that pregnant people very rarely offer me a place to sit ...
And speaking of which, I have an event every evening next week and the week after. And a million deadlines before December 1st. Oh yeah, plus prepping for the spring. The great benefit of being a graduate student is that I can control my own schedule. The downside? No time off and no adjustments in my deadlines for 'the rest of my life.' Fun, eh?
Update: In response to Melissia's detailed questions, I tend to get dizzy and out of breath most often in the morning when walking around, but definitely not doing anything too intense. I'm sure it's not low blood sugar because I test my blood sugar pretty often and I've never had a low. I also drink at least a liter of water before leaving my apartment in the morning, so I doubt I'm dehydrated (and then I squirm all the way to my desk). My blood pressure has also always been normal, although I know GD puts me at much higher risk of pre-eclampsia. Also no headaches in weeks. I guess I'm a bit puzzled because it tends to be around the same time of day and not when I'm doing my most intense activities (usually running around late afternoon for me). I did mention it to my midwife, but she was as ever unconcerned and said it was probably just the baby squashing my lungs - but I'm not sure why that would only bother me at a specific time of day. She also assured me that first-time babies rarely 'drop' until right before labor, so I shouldn't expect any relief for weeks ...
Is it really normal to get out of breath and feel like you're going to faint? I find that this has been happening for the past several days, mostly in the mornings. Dr. Google indicates it could either be the baby squashing my lungs or anemia, but I'm already on the maximum dose of iron. Any suggestions for how to deal with this? I am more than a bit nervous about fainting on the streets of NYC, and since I don't look all that pregnant people very rarely offer me a place to sit ...
And speaking of which, I have an event every evening next week and the week after. And a million deadlines before December 1st. Oh yeah, plus prepping for the spring. The great benefit of being a graduate student is that I can control my own schedule. The downside? No time off and no adjustments in my deadlines for 'the rest of my life.' Fun, eh?
Update: In response to Melissia's detailed questions, I tend to get dizzy and out of breath most often in the morning when walking around, but definitely not doing anything too intense. I'm sure it's not low blood sugar because I test my blood sugar pretty often and I've never had a low. I also drink at least a liter of water before leaving my apartment in the morning, so I doubt I'm dehydrated (and then I squirm all the way to my desk). My blood pressure has also always been normal, although I know GD puts me at much higher risk of pre-eclampsia. Also no headaches in weeks. I guess I'm a bit puzzled because it tends to be around the same time of day and not when I'm doing my most intense activities (usually running around late afternoon for me). I did mention it to my midwife, but she was as ever unconcerned and said it was probably just the baby squashing my lungs - but I'm not sure why that would only bother me at a specific time of day. She also assured me that first-time babies rarely 'drop' until right before labor, so I shouldn't expect any relief for weeks ...
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Very pleased with my husband
I had a bit of frustrating day between waiting several hours for our radiators to be fixed (off! just turn them all off! I cannot stand another night in the sauna) to a super-flaky woman on craigslist (we need another bookshelf - only 3 boxes left to unpack) ...
and since JD couldn't quite fix those problems by the time he got home at 9 pm he decided to indulge me entirely and set up the crib. In our bedroom. Complete with mattress and sheets. And it looks fabulous (it's the Emil.y mini crib, found on craigslist).*
And despite my MIL's rather extreme skepticism about the need for 'organic' products for our baby (don't worry, the only thing I felt strongly about being organic was the crib mattress) she purchased not only an organic crib mattress but also two organic cotton sheets for us. So nice.
Ok, back to work. I need to finish something by midnight.
* Yes, I know it's a bit obsessive to do this sort of thing so early, but I wanted to.
and since JD couldn't quite fix those problems by the time he got home at 9 pm he decided to indulge me entirely and set up the crib. In our bedroom. Complete with mattress and sheets. And it looks fabulous (it's the Emil.y mini crib, found on craigslist).*
And despite my MIL's rather extreme skepticism about the need for 'organic' products for our baby (don't worry, the only thing I felt strongly about being organic was the crib mattress) she purchased not only an organic crib mattress but also two organic cotton sheets for us. So nice.
Ok, back to work. I need to finish something by midnight.
* Yes, I know it's a bit obsessive to do this sort of thing so early, but I wanted to.
Can't say I'm devastated
to find out that JD missed the registration deadline for spring classes. So no night classes until the fall (by which point I will be safely away in Europe).
And why do they have to repeat in every childbirth class that two of the signs of early labor are flu-like symptoms and diarrhea? Really? I feel like that's been my life every day this week, and it would be so much easier to just ignore if there weren't this lurking idea in the back of my head that this might just be it ... of course, with no other signs of the baby being in any way ready to come out at 34.5 weeks, I know this is just paranoia. And now that we have a crib mattress, carseat and doula, I'm guessing we're as ready as we're going to get.
In other news, my little casual baby shower brunch (hosted by a friend, but at my apartment) seems to have grown a bit. I just posted 28 invitations, albeit only 10 days in advance. Super-rude, I know, but everyone is local (and by local, at least 10 of the addresses were within 5 blocks of our place) and we've told almost everyone in person. We'll see how this goes.
And why do they have to repeat in every childbirth class that two of the signs of early labor are flu-like symptoms and diarrhea? Really? I feel like that's been my life every day this week, and it would be so much easier to just ignore if there weren't this lurking idea in the back of my head that this might just be it ... of course, with no other signs of the baby being in any way ready to come out at 34.5 weeks, I know this is just paranoia. And now that we have a crib mattress, carseat and doula, I'm guessing we're as ready as we're going to get.
In other news, my little casual baby shower brunch (hosted by a friend, but at my apartment) seems to have grown a bit. I just posted 28 invitations, albeit only 10 days in advance. Super-rude, I know, but everyone is local (and by local, at least 10 of the addresses were within 5 blocks of our place) and we've told almost everyone in person. We'll see how this goes.
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