Small things on a Sunday morning

1. gdiapers. Be still my superficial, environmentalist heart. We used cloth diapers with the fusspot but couldn't with the dumpling after our move because our new building has no laundry and there is no laundromat nearby. I think I probably didn't consider gdiapers because of the cost, but 2 people posted just the right size gdiapers on craigslist in our neighborhood in less than 24 hours so I just went for it. And oh my do they look adorable! The problem is that I have to strip the dumpling every time I feed him because he loves to immerse himself in whatever is at hand, and since we are always trying to shovel something into his mouth, he spends most of his time at home "practically naking" (according to the fusspot, note the active verb). So now he has adorable new gdiapers, and hopefully they'll even work well (especially since I'll be hand washing them). Although I will admit to being a bit surprised about the cost of the disposable liner, which actually runs to more than a regular diaper (although I suppose at least part of that must be extra cost from manufacturing in some environmentally-more friendly way).

2. A lovely visit with a friend at the children's section of the NYPL at 42nd street. Yes, the book collection is quite nice and they were lovingly indulgent of our loud toddlers, but the place also makes me miss Lalaland. This is what an enticing reading area at a public library should look like (note also: free and better hours than the NYPL):

3. A new babysitter who I quite like. And I think she may like us. I invited her to stay for dinner after work tonight and she did. She's a college kid taking a semester off to work and save up. I also asked her back Monday night for 2 hours, so it is possible that I may just get to go out to dinner with my husband sans kids in 2012.

4. A daughter who loves to listen to books. For hours. Almost anything I pick. She has also decided that she will be a teacher when she grows up. Or a soccer ball (yes, you read that correctly). Dream big my child, dream big.

5. A diagnosis that makes sense. I had a brief consult with another doc this week, and she suggested post-partum anxiety. Which makes a lot more sense that regular ol' PPD. Because most days, most of the time I feel rather happy. But I am still unable to get things done. Important things. Things I really would like to finish. Things that would make my life better, things that I should be good at. No idea if there's anything I can actually do, but nice to have a much more realistic diagnosis. Of course, it doesn't help that anxiety is the mental disorder which terrifies me the most (I grew up with way too much of it at home). Depression is easy for me to recognize and easy to understand as a chemical imbalance (for me). Anxiety is infuriating because it is the inability to complete simple tasks which you know you should be able to do, and being aware enough to know that you should be able to ignore all the noise isn't enough. But it feels like it should be. So at least there's a diagnosis now.