Photos and obsessiveness

So it's true. We still don't have a name picked out. We spent hours going through name books (and lists of online names, including the top 200 names in NYC for the past 2 years, which is a great list) and family trees and trying to come up with a name in September. And we couldn't find anything we both liked. So we basically just stopped talking about, and that's how we got to 38 weeks with no name. JD seems to think we'll just think of one when we see the baby, but honestly, all newborns look pretty much the same and if I'm tired and grumpy I doubt I'll be in a reasonable mood. Oh, and in NY State if you leave the hospital with the baby unnamed you have to go to family court to fix it, which sounds like quite a hassle.

I really wish we could name the baby after one of my grandmothers or great-grandmothers, but they all had very dated (and Yiddush) names. JD's family doesn't reuse names, so that doesn't help much. And then of course we need a middle name too ...

And although I still feel great and it's really incroyable to think that we might have a real baby by the end of the week, I guess I am kind-of showing. Here's the belly at 38 weeks, 1 day (i.e. earlier today, in the freezing cold). The craziest thing is that I am only 3 lbs above my pre-TTC weight from last year. But I'm assured that there's at least 7 lbs of baby in there and apparently plenty of pading:

Unfortunately JD cropped my new, cute slouchy gray suede boots out of the photo.

Ok, so for the record, now that I am definitely at 38 weeks and the clock is ticking loudly towards pitocin here's what we've been up to:
- Acupuncture (twice a week)
- Red leaf raspberry tea
- Foot massages
- Um, that (really awkward) thing you do with your partner that's supposed to help
- Primrose oil (although not as a suppository because it interferes with #4 and just sounds gross)
- No more prenatals (never heard of this but I'll clearly try anything)
- Long walks and stairs
- Yummy spicy Indian food

And yes, I know this qualifies me as completely obsessive. But given that basically anyone at any of my seven medical appointments this week could make the call to send me straight to the hospital (ok, half of those appointments are in the hospital so they'd just have to send me across the hall) for an induction or C-Section, I don't see the point of dragging this out any longer. Any other suggestions?

More whining, but photos and enthusiasim coming soon

For the record, giving birth is not a spectator sport. I'm very impressed with those of you who have enough generosity to allow spectators in the room. I'm sure it is very meaningful for those people to be there. I am not one of those kind, generous people. In fact, I fully expect to be exceedingly grumpy during this entire process (I've heard through the grapevine that it hurts ...)

A relative of mine, who used to be an L and D nurse, and is an exceedingly fun person to hang out with, offered a few weeks ago to attend the birth. However, she lives 3 or so hours outside NYC and has not once come to visit us in the city. She's also not so young and has some health problems and I really can't imagine calling her at 2 am and asking her to hope in her car and drive in to hang out with us. Which is why we hired a doula. And I thought that was that. I just got a guilt trip about it from none other than my sister about the situation. Not that making me feel guilty will change anything, but it did annoy me. Mind you, she did not offer to come help out with the newborn after I give birth - just the delivery part.

Moreover, we are not calling anyone until we are home from the hospital. For one simple reason, I don't want visitors in the hospital. My family is all too far away to show up, my friends are too clueless to know what's appropriate (except those with kids who are too busy), and JD's mother is still convinced that she's going to pick me and the baby up (not JD, mind you) and take us to her house 2.5 hours away ... and I think the easiest way to avoid that conflict is simply not to call until we're home. Plus, we'll need to go to the pediatrician within 48 hours of our release, so there's no reason to torture the baby with 5+ hours of driving in her first 2 days for absolutely no reason. And my apartment is completely set up for me and the baby (with my hearty stash of desserts in the freezer). And I don't really think it's fair or nice to call my family and not JD's, plus we'll most likely be released within 24 hours and so there's just no reason people can't wait to find out (I did concede JD could e-mail his buddies on his blackberry if he needs 'support' and he seemed pretty content with that) and if I'm not released it's because they've cut me open and I'll just want to sleep and relax.

I of course thought it was better just to tell people what we're going to do, so that they have time to get over it. But the more complaining I hear from them, the less interest I have in talking to any of my family (except my mother, who very dutifully listens to me whine almost daily) until after I've given birth. Nobody has yet expressed any real concern for how I'm feeling, or, just like my wedding, how I'm doing emotionally and it's really starting to peeve me. Oh well.

Oh, and one other annoyance just to show you how obnoxious I am when JD's family is clearly going out of their way to be helpful. My MIL called from Costco today to tell JD she'd bought us a huge stash of (disposable, not even chlorine free) diapers. Of course, she also bought us some cloth diapers before so she knows we want to use cloth diapers. I know we'll also need disposable diapers for when we're traveling or overwhelmed with laundry, etc. but I just think a huge Costco-scale stash is going to be way too tempting to use full time. And we live in NYC! There are 3 24-hour drug stores within 3 minutes of our apartment where we can stock up on disposable diapers whenever we should need them. So of course I'm peeved, even though I'm sure this shopping excursion was done with nothing but the best intentions.

Coming up when JD comes home from work: the final belly shots. We actually had taken none since our honeymoon in August so in the freezing cold today we went outside and took a bunch, and they are really cute. Plus more news on how the obsessive woman deals with her rapidly-approaching due date by indulging in every known 'natural' induction method.

I was trying so hard to stay positive ...

Just got a call from my midwife. Not a big deal, but another little wrench in the plans and another little thing to worry about. Turns out the first lab read was incorrect, I am Group Strep B positive. Right? Not such a big deal.

Except that I had this test done extra-early (i.e. 2 weeks ago) so that they could test the sensitivities of the strain and strategize about which antibiotics to give me given my very extensive and serious allergies to meds. But somehow the lab forgot, even though it was circled twice on the lab slip. So unless we have time to rerun the lab results before I go into labor, I'm consigned to the one and only drug treatment they're sure I'm not allergic to ... which just happens to make me throw up violently. My miwife assures me I'd probably be throwing up by this point anyway, but really? Do I need to go into this knowing that because of a lab error (which also wasn't caught so early ...) I'll be guaranteed to feel nauseous in labor in addition to whatever else is going on ...

And then I get the guilt trip about this being the best thing for the baby. Of course I'm not going to deliberately expose my child to a potentially fatal complication, but that doesn't make me feel better about the lab error, especially when I really was proactive about this issue weeks ago to try and avoid any time crunch ...

Good news

I'm starting to dilate! I couldn't be more excited. Of course, don't worry, I'm not even at 1 cm yet but all seems to be well. Passed another NST thanks to 2 liters of ice cold water and a lot of wiggling, but I did not pee in the exam chair. And the midwife thought all was well and I should really stop worrying about going past my due date. So there we have it. Shabbos starts momentarily so I'm off to services and then a long day of rest.

Of course, this does mean JD and I really should start talking about picking a name tonight. Wish us luck.

One more checkmark, and a funny one at that

As you might recall, my midwife waited until directly before Thanksgiving to mention that I needed to see her supervising ob/gyn (NY State law - all midwives practice under an ob/gyn even if they never see that person) now that I was classified as 'high risk.' So off I trundled this afternoon, having been warned by the receptionist that their waits tend to be -very- long.

The wait wasn't actually that bad, and the moment the doctor walked into the room I realized it was all going to be fine. Of all things, it was the doctor from 'The Busin.ess of Being Bo.rn,' the one who rants about how doctors do everything during labor for their own convenience and the one who lands up doing a C-Section. Turns out he'll be doing my C-Section should it be necesary. And he couldn't have been more relaxed.

He told me I can go as far past my due date as I feel like, although I should try to go into labor sooner rather than later. He was all for massage and acupuncture and primrose oil and anything else I feel like trying. The one odd thing he recommended was to stop taking prenatals - he thinks they may delay the onset of labor. Has anyone else heard of this? I'm sure I have plenty of folic acid in my body by this point (and it's really most important in the 1st 1/2 of the 1st trimester) so I'm going to give it a try. Other than that, I was in and out of his office in under 5 mintues and he scrawled a very cheerful note to my midwife which his nurse dutifully made official with a big, bright stamp.

This cold needs to end

I am turning into an excessively belligerent person. Although honestly in the littlest and pettiest of ways.

I had to run out to my midwife's office to pick up medical records for an appointment later today, despite the canceled appointment with her. And on the way back I took the bus.

I was sitting quite comfortably when a very, very large woman and her equally large friend got on. She proceeded to sit next to me, and then kindly offer to squeeze in so her equally large friend could also sit. Since I honestly feared that my little bump might be seriously squashed by the girth next to me I proceeded to stand. Which was totally fine. I felt fine, these women clearly needed to sit, and I'm hardly one to blame someone for their size ...

Except that I then proceeded to unbutton my coat which was covering up the little bump and to lean suggestively against the pole. Basically just to give the poor woman a guilt trip for no reason at all. And there she is merrily thanking me and wishing me Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and all the best of luck.

I really hope my cold clears up soon.

The little things we forgot

My midwife's office is tiny. Two midwifes. Which is great because you know exactly who will be catching babies on any given day.

But ... when the midwives are both out catching babies sometimes they have to reschedule all their appointments ... which is not so easy when you're quite as overbooked as I am:
- No, I cannot skip my NST in the morning.
- No, I cannot reschedule it.
- No, I would prefer not to cancel acupuncture because they charge for cancellations (I love that insurance will help pay for the appointment but not a cancellation caused by another medical appointment).
- No, you CANNOT double-book me for an appointment I already have next Tuesday afternoon (i.e. an appointment with the midwife. No wonder they are always running so late when they offered me the exact appointment I already have ... maybe I should have taken it just to try and keep them on schedule).

Oh well. Clearly no baby coming out this week, so I guess I can just wait. Of course, I still have to run over to the office and pick up my records to bring them to my afternoon appointment ...