mostly. I mean, all but locating the nearest grocery store and unpacking the remain hundred or so boxes ...
The thing that slowed me down was 2 full days of extensive medical testing for the dumpling. And it's ... not good? Good to at least finally have aggressive doctors? But the possible diagnosis floating around are getting scary, and the real possibility that there will be no conclusive diagnosis within a month and after all appropriate testing, and then we will have to decide what to do. The head doctor told me to start preparing for a feeding tube. He's almost 2. Seems like that boat has sailed, but we'll see.
The fusspot is grumpy about the move and talks about her friends non-stop, but is really doing fine. But the dumpling is home with me ... and he seems to be fine. He is cheerful, plays happily, seems pretty stable. But then I wonder if I am simply missing the signs that he is missing our daycare provider. Or maybe he just thinks this is all one big vacation and he'll see her again soon. Because she ... well she called on Friday night just as we were about to light candles to tell me quite succinctly that she "felt dead inside." For all that we quibbled and she did things which I absolutely and categorically forbade (the very last week she had him she put him in the backseat of a car, sitting on another kid's lap and drove around NYC ... so very, very glad that she has completely left the childcare line of work because I certainly would not be able to recommend her to anyone else, for all that she is great with kids. 2.5 years of employment and the rule was always: no cars. Period. Ever) Y. loved the dumpling like her own kids. She started watching him at 2 weeks old (for an hour or two) and starting in September she had only the dumpling for the majority of every day (although he was only there 30 hours a week).
He called her mama and I am pretty sure that she held him in her arms for most of his naps this past year. And there's nothing like breaking that type of bond to make you feel guilty. Any thoughts on helping a not-yet-two-year-old with grief? I realized that although we have lots of photos of them together, we don't have any up at the moment and I'll fix that early this week. But I really don't have much else to offer. They've "talked" on the phone a few times, her computer isn't set up for skype. You'd think I'd have ideas having lived apart from JD for 11 months with the fusspot, but she is so much more resilient of a kid (and oh how I dislike that description since that's always what my parents said about me, and overwhelmingly the fusspot's interests and behavior are almost exactly the same as mine) and I am really at a loss. I also wish I could do something to help Y. - we've invited her down for spring break, and I'll mail her some more photos, but I don't know what else to do.
The thing that slowed me down was 2 full days of extensive medical testing for the dumpling. And it's ... not good? Good to at least finally have aggressive doctors? But the possible diagnosis floating around are getting scary, and the real possibility that there will be no conclusive diagnosis within a month and after all appropriate testing, and then we will have to decide what to do. The head doctor told me to start preparing for a feeding tube. He's almost 2. Seems like that boat has sailed, but we'll see.
The fusspot is grumpy about the move and talks about her friends non-stop, but is really doing fine. But the dumpling is home with me ... and he seems to be fine. He is cheerful, plays happily, seems pretty stable. But then I wonder if I am simply missing the signs that he is missing our daycare provider. Or maybe he just thinks this is all one big vacation and he'll see her again soon. Because she ... well she called on Friday night just as we were about to light candles to tell me quite succinctly that she "felt dead inside." For all that we quibbled and she did things which I absolutely and categorically forbade (the very last week she had him she put him in the backseat of a car, sitting on another kid's lap and drove around NYC ... so very, very glad that she has completely left the childcare line of work because I certainly would not be able to recommend her to anyone else, for all that she is great with kids. 2.5 years of employment and the rule was always: no cars. Period. Ever) Y. loved the dumpling like her own kids. She started watching him at 2 weeks old (for an hour or two) and starting in September she had only the dumpling for the majority of every day (although he was only there 30 hours a week).
He called her mama and I am pretty sure that she held him in her arms for most of his naps this past year. And there's nothing like breaking that type of bond to make you feel guilty. Any thoughts on helping a not-yet-two-year-old with grief? I realized that although we have lots of photos of them together, we don't have any up at the moment and I'll fix that early this week. But I really don't have much else to offer. They've "talked" on the phone a few times, her computer isn't set up for skype. You'd think I'd have ideas having lived apart from JD for 11 months with the fusspot, but she is so much more resilient of a kid (and oh how I dislike that description since that's always what my parents said about me, and overwhelmingly the fusspot's interests and behavior are almost exactly the same as mine) and I am really at a loss. I also wish I could do something to help Y. - we've invited her down for spring break, and I'll mail her some more photos, but I don't know what else to do.
2 comments:
You are his mommy and he knows it. Yes, he may grieve her like he would grieve or miss seeing a grandparent everyday (as my own girls would if something happened to theirs, who see them a minimum of 5 days a week). If you are worried you could g.oogl.e it I suppose (thinking back to my own days deep in the grief/attachment trenches). Please don't think in any way that I am dismissing his feelings nor yours! And I could scream at top of my lungs whenever word "resilient" was used about Lil Pumpkin.
My heart goes out to you regarding Dumpling and what lays ahead...I'm not sure what to say but wanted you to know I am thinking of you and to please feel welcome to email me if you need to vent (or just a place to be scared).
Hugs.
When the kids turned 2 at Michael's daycare they went from the baby house to the big nursery. Many of the kids had their favorite playmates that they seemed really attached to and I asked if it made the other kids sad when one got moved up and the workers said that at that age, it's basically 'out of sight, out of mind'. Now, I wouldn't presume that it would be the same with someone the child had made a loving bond with, but I think with other loving caregivers (or parents) filling that void, he will probably adjust well. Don't feel guilty about all of that.
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