We are SO that family

Yesterday was a gorgeous, sunny day here in NYC and in our neighborhood that brings all the strollers to a certain small patch of grass far from the street. Which is a nice way of saying that I saw quite a few moms I haven't seen in months as we lounged in the sun (at 8:45 am ...). Of course, the first mom I talked to is a good friend who happens to be one of those delightfully neurotic mothers who populate this particular neighborhood. And what else should we talk about but schools.

Last week when she was over for a playdate she had just put down a $4000 deposit to keep her child's spot in her current preschool but was panicked about not getting into her top choice pre-k/transition to incredibly excellent elementary school (at which point she'd lose the $4000 deposit naturally). Fast forward 2 weeks and said kid was off the waitlist and into the school, and now mom was panicked about the bill. And you would be too. $37,000 for a 9 to 3 schoolday. And in many ways, a commitment to that bill for the next 9 years because the public and private schools have different cut-offs so moving her daughter to the public school would necessitate her repeating a year. Oh, and the private schools set their deposit date just because public schools reveal admits to special programs, G & T, etc. so it's even harder to switch over.

Her solution was pretty clever: to visit the local public kindergarten to see exactly what she was comparing. And needless to say, she was not thrilled. Most of her complaints about the public school were trivial, although she did notice a few things which are genuinely scary depending on the scale (namely, overworked, stressed teachers yelling at children. I had 2 friends whose children were in genuinely emotionally abusive classrooms. I can understand bad content or wasted time, but a teacher who is so overworked that she's mean to students is not something I could handle easily). I was surprised to hear that we are districted for a school which is 75% Hispanic, only because we really don't see those kids at the playground. My guess would have been closer to 25% Hispanic, 25% African-American. She even talked about liberal parents who take pride in "slumming it," sending their kids to the grimy over-enrolled local public school when they could in fact afford a private alternative (hello dear friend, do remember who you are talking to).

Needless to say another mom I haven't seen since the fall sat down and was lauding her much cheaper private school. A school I've been meaning to register, a possible cheap "gem in the rough" in our very neighborhood. Naturally, a Catholic school.

I talked to JD about the situation last night and we basically agreed to put down the $150 deposit at this nice little Catholic school as a back-up plan. Mostly just to buy us time to figure it all out. We had a nice theoretical conversation about home schooling and the support involved parents can give to a floundering school (note: there is no public school option for us for next year. We are taking about pre-k and our district has NO universal pre-k spots. We're in the lottery in the next district over but our chances are close to nil. We very much hope to land up at a nice public school for kindergarten on).

So there I was at 9 am this morning on the school tour. And so glad to see another familiar face on the tour. In fact, there was only one other family there with me at 9 am. And who should they be? The janitor from our old building. Our non-white, non-native English speaking, kind and generous janitor. The same man who carried the fusspot home through a blizzard December 26th 2010 when I was huge as a whale and scared of falling in the snow. A friend.

We are so going to be that family.

At 10:15 am I put down a deposit and officially enrolled the fusspot for pre-k. I don't know if we'll still be in this neighborhood, I am by no means convinced that this pre-k is a better option than simply continuing our home daycare, I don't even really know if we will be able to afford the bill by the fall ($7500 for an 8:30 to 2:30 5-days a week program, as far as I can tell as cheap as it gets in the city and only because the Catholic Church is picking up the rent tab). I don't love the idea of the fusspot in a classroom of 20 with only one teacher (and a teacher's assistant without a teaching degree). I do like the play-based curriculum, the loving environment, the diversity. And I do know is that I would be thrilled to have my kid going to the same school as our neighbor. And hopefully that at least won't change.