you see a man in a suit today rushing through either Grand Central or Penn Station with a hipster bag and a standard issue Medela breastpump on his shoulder please try not to say anything. My poor guy firmly believes that no one either on the subway or at work will recognize his "non-descript black over-the-shoulder bag" for a breastpump. Let alone the fact that he is in fact carrying a purse to work ...
It just made sense for me to bring the tote bag with train supplies with me (in case he has to work late and I yet again do the 2 hour train ride to my in-laws alone with both kids), but I still need the pump for our sojourn on Long Island.
ps - suggestions on Project Fatten Up Baby much appreciated on my last post.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
My foie gras project
aka, Project Fatten Up That Baby is not making any real progress. It doesn't help that the dumpling is sick at the moment (fever and all), but it turns out that upon closer inspection my little guy is:
a. a terrible nurser. He's just not that interested, even if I take him into a dark room alone. He nurses happily overnight but not so much during the day. I predict many, many hours of pumping in our future.
b. will eat anything but not all that much of anything
But here is the real question for my devoted readers: should I be worried that the miniature man poos a lot? And by a lot I mean 4-5 times a day, substantial amounts. And not exactly normal looking. Of course, he's still substantially relying on breastmilk (thanks to the wonder of my 2 electric pumps) but still. I did love your food suggestions because we have jumped full speed ahead into feeding him, well, everything. So when you suggest avocado with olive oil I offered him stir-fried chicken with peanut butter slathered on top.
My plan for Thanksgiving was to give him a full 5 days sans dairy (and I guess me too) since that's particularly easy to do at my in-laws. Or is pooing a lot normal? Some of the poo does look distinctly normal, and thus far no pattern as to when it is more, um, unusual. Any other food suggestions? He certainly has no allergies or sensitivities that we've noticed along the way and thus far the only foods he hasn't eaten are honey (until 12 months) and shellfish (until someone else offers it to him. Not going to find that around my apartment but the fusspot managed to sample it at daycare around age 2).
a. a terrible nurser. He's just not that interested, even if I take him into a dark room alone. He nurses happily overnight but not so much during the day. I predict many, many hours of pumping in our future.
b. will eat anything but not all that much of anything
But here is the real question for my devoted readers: should I be worried that the miniature man poos a lot? And by a lot I mean 4-5 times a day, substantial amounts. And not exactly normal looking. Of course, he's still substantially relying on breastmilk (thanks to the wonder of my 2 electric pumps) but still. I did love your food suggestions because we have jumped full speed ahead into feeding him, well, everything. So when you suggest avocado with olive oil I offered him stir-fried chicken with peanut butter slathered on top.
My plan for Thanksgiving was to give him a full 5 days sans dairy (and I guess me too) since that's particularly easy to do at my in-laws. Or is pooing a lot normal? Some of the poo does look distinctly normal, and thus far no pattern as to when it is more, um, unusual. Any other food suggestions? He certainly has no allergies or sensitivities that we've noticed along the way and thus far the only foods he hasn't eaten are honey (until 12 months) and shellfish (until someone else offers it to him. Not going to find that around my apartment but the fusspot managed to sample it at daycare around age 2).
Friday, November 18, 2011
New Project
It seems we have a new and rather time-consuming project on our hands: Project Fatten Up that Baby. It's a bit frustrating because I feel like our little miniature man is doing so well. He is just past 8 months and has been crawling since 5 months, pulls up on furniture, vocalizes a lot (although no vowel-consonant combo, but I think that's probably just the confusion over being bilingual), sleeps in 3-4 hour blocks (and even part of the evening in his. very. own. crib) and is overall super-happy and very, very active.
Apparently he's also no longer on the growth charts. Which is another little nosedive from our precarious 5th percentile at 6 months.
Of course, he's now done to 5th percentile for height, so he still looks proportional and even has rolls on both of his wrists. And all this from a baby who was 8 lbs 2 oz at birth.
But still.
We had been doing baby lead weaning, with a healthy dose of purees at daycare, but now we are turning up the fat. He had full fat yogurt before his beef stew dinner last night, and grated cheese with his bagel for breakfast. Thoughts/suggestions/ commiseration much appreciated. I really don't want to treat him like a piece of potential foie gras but it would be nice if he could put on a pound or two before our follow-up appointment in a month.
Apparently he's also no longer on the growth charts. Which is another little nosedive from our precarious 5th percentile at 6 months.
Of course, he's now done to 5th percentile for height, so he still looks proportional and even has rolls on both of his wrists. And all this from a baby who was 8 lbs 2 oz at birth.
But still.
We had been doing baby lead weaning, with a healthy dose of purees at daycare, but now we are turning up the fat. He had full fat yogurt before his beef stew dinner last night, and grated cheese with his bagel for breakfast. Thoughts/suggestions/ commiseration much appreciated. I really don't want to treat him like a piece of potential foie gras but it would be nice if he could put on a pound or two before our follow-up appointment in a month.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Mini Montessori
preceded by a brief introduction/rant, naturally.
I read a lot of new parent blogs where the parents at some point express their admiration for Waldorf/Montessori/Reggio Emilia parenting philosophies, usually grouped together. I most definitely also went through that phase judging by the books on our shelves. There is something very appealing about the deliberate, conscientious parenting put forth in those philosophies. The adorable Waldorf gnomes, the Montessori notecards bound with metal rings, the beautiful artwork. But there are so many blogs out there were the families seem to ascribe wholesale to the advice of Rudolf Steiner or Maria Montessori or Loris Malaguzzi. And let's be slightly realistic here: I hardly think that the wonderfully intuitive and observational practices of a few individuals decades ago are the very best practice today. I feel perfectly confident to interject my own opinions into those philosophies. Montessori believed that children must be weaned at 6 months to a day or they risked over-attachment and limiting their exploration (hence the focus on weaning tables, glass dishes, setting the table for toddlers). Steiner argued that there were certain colors which were simply too emotional or strong for children to handle before a certain age. He's also opposed to picture books for children, believing that oral traditions resonated better. And for all that most American Waldorf schools endorse "ritual" over "Christianity," in many of them the woodland elves have been taken over by a very strong Catholic tradition. So yes, while we have endless silk scarfs and I firmly believe in the importance of a well-stocked dress-up box, we are very much the family that picks and chooses, leaning heavily towards a Montessori-ish approach.
Oh yeah, and I was raised by very devoted parents who surrounded me with science experiments and art projects and sent me to a lab school. And JD marched in lines and has no memory of fantasy play of any sort, or being allowed to help out in the kitchen, or picture books, or bath toys, etc.
My #1 piece of advice is to prepare/actually set out activities the night before. As a working mom who is also not a morning person and happens to have a rather adventurous baby underfoot, I just don't have the time during the day to pull out a new puzzle or set up a painting project, etc. So every night after the babies are asleep I consider what I want us to do the next day and I set out activities in 1-3 of our "work" places. It sometimes buys me a few extra minutes sleep, and it always makes the fusspot excited. So, for example, I might set out all the non-refrigerated ingredients for cupcakes on the fusspot's art table in the kitchen and let her get started with putting cupcakes liners into the tray at 7 am even though I know we can't bake until 6 pm, or counting bears near her high chair in the living room, or a book related to the seasons/something we're doing in her room.
With no further-ado, a few things we like:
(the ceilings are really high. Those butterflies are about 3 feet across, and her week calendar is about 4 feet across)
When you open our front door, it's pretty apparent we have a toddler-centric apartment. On the wall directly across from the door is the fusspot's weekly calendar. I know that the idea of days of the week is too advanced, let alone reading the names, but I think that she does get the idea of rhythm/pattern, and it has helped to cut down on "I don't want to go to daycare" fights. She gets that there is a day when dada is home, and a day when we buy flowers on the way home and light candles with dinner. And she loves to tell people about her week when they come to the door.
Every mother knows that getting out the door is the bane of our existence in the mornings. This is our wall of winter clothing. When it gets really cold I'll add a basket for mittens/hats/scarves/wool socks. The fusspot can't yet really get herself dressed in the morning (and that's fine. I usually grab both of my kids sans winter gear and dress them in the elevator or the lobby because it shortens the protests), but she does get the idea of putting away her coat and boots when we get home. She's been doing that since before her second birthday actually (although it may be the only clean-up she does unprompted).
Oh, and around the corner we have our incredible sling collection. Yes, I still carry my almost-3 year old in a sling some days, and yes I use at least one every day (don't even ask about the stroller collection, it's also rather excessive):
This is the fusspot's room. The ceilings are really high, but I guarantee that it is smaller than almost any non-city bedroom and I know that it looks a good deal more crowded than ideal. But we also don't have any storage space for "rotating" toys (a fundamental of a Montessori classroom). The fusspot has her musical toys collection, dress-up box (no disney items here, mostly playsilks from goodwill with a couple of awesome purses and hats also from goodwill), a desk for "work" and items the baby can't really ingest yet (plus it was the most incredible bargain ever on craigslist. They practically offered to pay for my cab home), and our beloved reading corner (with a cloth basket of train tracks hiding behind the rocking chair. There's also a doll's crib and blocks just out of sight. And about 10 pull toys. I love pull toys).
Here's a close-up of the reading corner (more inspired by Steiner than Montessori). Many of the books were mine as a child, but I also bought a book per injection when cycling (we lived next to the most fabulous public library with a secondhand bookstore in it in City Y. I still dream about going back and grabbing another handful of $1 pristine condition classic hardback picture books. We also just scored a full 50 used books for $1 a piece at a school fair this fall).
The bathroom next door is fairly intuitive and not all that exciting. In fact, the photo is a bit inaccurate because the fusspot's basket usually has both toilet paper and a pull-up in it. She is actually able to go to the bathroom alone in the evening, use the toilet, wipe, wash her hands and put on her own pull-up, which is pretty incredible (she's been toilet trained since 26 months but we still do a pull-up at night since she's in a crib. Both Steiner and Montessori opposed cribs, but folks, I love them and plan to keep her in there until college if possible). This is one of those places were Montessori's "care of the self" just makes sense, and it makes my life so much easier.
And if you're wondering about the elegance of small city apartment life, here's the full view. Note the baby bathtub precariously perched on the toilet. The bumbo seat is used for about 10 minutes per week, but it is an essential restraining device to keep the dumpling from face planting in the bathroom while I get the fusspot out of the bathtub (they bathe together, with the baby bathtubs basically floating in the big bathtub. I take him out but then have to find someplace to put him so he won't get into trouble while I get her out and dried. Ah, the joys of bedtime routines alone). Ah yes, and we do use the bathroom windowsill to store playground toys:
Our pride and joy in this new apartment is the fusspot's workplace in the kitchen. It is actually a chalk table, although we use it for everything from painting to baking to "number cakes" (peg boards for counting. I love that the fusspot calls them numbercakes).
There's a chair for her and a chair for me (craigslist), the table (craigslist), a blank wall and window for displaying art projects, an easy-to-clean floor and a gate on the kitchen to keep the dumpling out in desperate times. It is also quite convenient to have it in the kitchen because we have devoted an entire cabinet in the kitchen to art, math and science supplies. I guess some people really do have a closet for home "school" supplies, but we certainly don't.
Bakin' some number cakes:
I am happy to post about the "work" we've enjoyed thus far, but needless to say there is a heavy focus on sensory/art and science. Contrary to the impression our living room table gives, we are not actually pushing literacy at the moment, but I am hoping that sometime in the next 6 months the fusspot will notice her letters and then we can take the sandpaper letters off the wall and really use them. The item in the photo above is a light box and the fusspot LOVES it. This is a link with some incredible ideas although we've mainly stayed in the pouring/counting/painting realm thus far. A brief word of warning: light boxes from school supply stores are incredible expensive (over $100) and there are plenty of cheap ones on Amazon but a lot of them are meant for drafting and the surface is on an incline and thus very frustrating to a toddler. This one happens to have been mine as a child. You can make a super-easy light box by putting a bare lightbulb into a large clear tupperware container (like one of the ones designed for under-bed storage). And yes, she is pouring with real glass bowls thanks to goodwill. I don't understand why people buy super-expensive "pouring sets" from school supply stores but it is totally unnecessary. And yes, we clean up broken glass every once in a while. Here's a shot that better captures the magic of the light box:
This is the same corner on a different day. Note the apartment-sized answer to the large play kitchen (available on e-bay although this one is circa late 70s and was most certainly mine as a child):
The dumpling will soon be able to reach both the fusspot's desk and her art table, and so we have added a little project corner on our kitchen table (which naturally sits in the living room). At the moment her basket here has scizzors, hole punches and some paint strips, but we try to rotate through different activities:
Questions? I've been considering a few posts on my favorite childrens books if there's interest, or city activities or art projects. Or maybe just back to my usual gripes about infertility, motherhood and my health.
I read a lot of new parent blogs where the parents at some point express their admiration for Waldorf/Montessori/Reggio Emilia parenting philosophies, usually grouped together. I most definitely also went through that phase judging by the books on our shelves. There is something very appealing about the deliberate, conscientious parenting put forth in those philosophies. The adorable Waldorf gnomes, the Montessori notecards bound with metal rings, the beautiful artwork. But there are so many blogs out there were the families seem to ascribe wholesale to the advice of Rudolf Steiner or Maria Montessori or Loris Malaguzzi. And let's be slightly realistic here: I hardly think that the wonderfully intuitive and observational practices of a few individuals decades ago are the very best practice today. I feel perfectly confident to interject my own opinions into those philosophies. Montessori believed that children must be weaned at 6 months to a day or they risked over-attachment and limiting their exploration (hence the focus on weaning tables, glass dishes, setting the table for toddlers). Steiner argued that there were certain colors which were simply too emotional or strong for children to handle before a certain age. He's also opposed to picture books for children, believing that oral traditions resonated better. And for all that most American Waldorf schools endorse "ritual" over "Christianity," in many of them the woodland elves have been taken over by a very strong Catholic tradition. So yes, while we have endless silk scarfs and I firmly believe in the importance of a well-stocked dress-up box, we are very much the family that picks and chooses, leaning heavily towards a Montessori-ish approach.
Oh yeah, and I was raised by very devoted parents who surrounded me with science experiments and art projects and sent me to a lab school. And JD marched in lines and has no memory of fantasy play of any sort, or being allowed to help out in the kitchen, or picture books, or bath toys, etc.
My #1 piece of advice is to prepare/actually set out activities the night before. As a working mom who is also not a morning person and happens to have a rather adventurous baby underfoot, I just don't have the time during the day to pull out a new puzzle or set up a painting project, etc. So every night after the babies are asleep I consider what I want us to do the next day and I set out activities in 1-3 of our "work" places. It sometimes buys me a few extra minutes sleep, and it always makes the fusspot excited. So, for example, I might set out all the non-refrigerated ingredients for cupcakes on the fusspot's art table in the kitchen and let her get started with putting cupcakes liners into the tray at 7 am even though I know we can't bake until 6 pm, or counting bears near her high chair in the living room, or a book related to the seasons/something we're doing in her room.
With no further-ado, a few things we like:
(the ceilings are really high. Those butterflies are about 3 feet across, and her week calendar is about 4 feet across)When you open our front door, it's pretty apparent we have a toddler-centric apartment. On the wall directly across from the door is the fusspot's weekly calendar. I know that the idea of days of the week is too advanced, let alone reading the names, but I think that she does get the idea of rhythm/pattern, and it has helped to cut down on "I don't want to go to daycare" fights. She gets that there is a day when dada is home, and a day when we buy flowers on the way home and light candles with dinner. And she loves to tell people about her week when they come to the door.
Every mother knows that getting out the door is the bane of our existence in the mornings. This is our wall of winter clothing. When it gets really cold I'll add a basket for mittens/hats/scarves/wool socks. The fusspot can't yet really get herself dressed in the morning (and that's fine. I usually grab both of my kids sans winter gear and dress them in the elevator or the lobby because it shortens the protests), but she does get the idea of putting away her coat and boots when we get home. She's been doing that since before her second birthday actually (although it may be the only clean-up she does unprompted).
Oh, and around the corner we have our incredible sling collection. Yes, I still carry my almost-3 year old in a sling some days, and yes I use at least one every day (don't even ask about the stroller collection, it's also rather excessive):
This is the fusspot's room. The ceilings are really high, but I guarantee that it is smaller than almost any non-city bedroom and I know that it looks a good deal more crowded than ideal. But we also don't have any storage space for "rotating" toys (a fundamental of a Montessori classroom). The fusspot has her musical toys collection, dress-up box (no disney items here, mostly playsilks from goodwill with a couple of awesome purses and hats also from goodwill), a desk for "work" and items the baby can't really ingest yet (plus it was the most incredible bargain ever on craigslist. They practically offered to pay for my cab home), and our beloved reading corner (with a cloth basket of train tracks hiding behind the rocking chair. There's also a doll's crib and blocks just out of sight. And about 10 pull toys. I love pull toys).
Here's a close-up of the reading corner (more inspired by Steiner than Montessori). Many of the books were mine as a child, but I also bought a book per injection when cycling (we lived next to the most fabulous public library with a secondhand bookstore in it in City Y. I still dream about going back and grabbing another handful of $1 pristine condition classic hardback picture books. We also just scored a full 50 used books for $1 a piece at a school fair this fall).
The bathroom next door is fairly intuitive and not all that exciting. In fact, the photo is a bit inaccurate because the fusspot's basket usually has both toilet paper and a pull-up in it. She is actually able to go to the bathroom alone in the evening, use the toilet, wipe, wash her hands and put on her own pull-up, which is pretty incredible (she's been toilet trained since 26 months but we still do a pull-up at night since she's in a crib. Both Steiner and Montessori opposed cribs, but folks, I love them and plan to keep her in there until college if possible). This is one of those places were Montessori's "care of the self" just makes sense, and it makes my life so much easier.
And if you're wondering about the elegance of small city apartment life, here's the full view. Note the baby bathtub precariously perched on the toilet. The bumbo seat is used for about 10 minutes per week, but it is an essential restraining device to keep the dumpling from face planting in the bathroom while I get the fusspot out of the bathtub (they bathe together, with the baby bathtubs basically floating in the big bathtub. I take him out but then have to find someplace to put him so he won't get into trouble while I get her out and dried. Ah, the joys of bedtime routines alone). Ah yes, and we do use the bathroom windowsill to store playground toys:
Our pride and joy in this new apartment is the fusspot's workplace in the kitchen. It is actually a chalk table, although we use it for everything from painting to baking to "number cakes" (peg boards for counting. I love that the fusspot calls them numbercakes).
There's a chair for her and a chair for me (craigslist), the table (craigslist), a blank wall and window for displaying art projects, an easy-to-clean floor and a gate on the kitchen to keep the dumpling out in desperate times. It is also quite convenient to have it in the kitchen because we have devoted an entire cabinet in the kitchen to art, math and science supplies. I guess some people really do have a closet for home "school" supplies, but we certainly don't.Bakin' some number cakes:
I am happy to post about the "work" we've enjoyed thus far, but needless to say there is a heavy focus on sensory/art and science. Contrary to the impression our living room table gives, we are not actually pushing literacy at the moment, but I am hoping that sometime in the next 6 months the fusspot will notice her letters and then we can take the sandpaper letters off the wall and really use them. The item in the photo above is a light box and the fusspot LOVES it. This is a link with some incredible ideas although we've mainly stayed in the pouring/counting/painting realm thus far. A brief word of warning: light boxes from school supply stores are incredible expensive (over $100) and there are plenty of cheap ones on Amazon but a lot of them are meant for drafting and the surface is on an incline and thus very frustrating to a toddler. This one happens to have been mine as a child. You can make a super-easy light box by putting a bare lightbulb into a large clear tupperware container (like one of the ones designed for under-bed storage). And yes, she is pouring with real glass bowls thanks to goodwill. I don't understand why people buy super-expensive "pouring sets" from school supply stores but it is totally unnecessary. And yes, we clean up broken glass every once in a while. Here's a shot that better captures the magic of the light box:
This is the same corner on a different day. Note the apartment-sized answer to the large play kitchen (available on e-bay although this one is circa late 70s and was most certainly mine as a child):
The dumpling will soon be able to reach both the fusspot's desk and her art table, and so we have added a little project corner on our kitchen table (which naturally sits in the living room). At the moment her basket here has scizzors, hole punches and some paint strips, but we try to rotate through different activities:
Questions? I've been considering a few posts on my favorite childrens books if there's interest, or city activities or art projects. Or maybe just back to my usual gripes about infertility, motherhood and my health.
Please click over and send your prayers
Please click over and send your love to Trish from Fertile Hope. I have been reading her incredible blog since her son Robbie was born at 25 weeks 2 years ago. Trish just had a healthy baby girl but she could use a lot of support as she struggles with her own health.
http://fertilehope.blogspot.com/2011/11/prayers-for-me-please.html
http://fertilehope.blogspot.com/2011/11/prayers-for-me-please.html
Saturday, November 12, 2011
never as eloquent as I'd like
The simple reason that I have not posted recently is that I still very much feel as if I am utterly failing at my current profession. It is both depressing and stressful to think that I may very well have wasted the better part of the last decade pursuing a degree only to choke at the very end. But those are the stakes, and I am doing everything that I can do barrel through.
I have immersed myself in the philosophy of don't-beat-yourself-up-tomorrow-is-a-new-day. There are so many days that after all of the stress of getting the babies to daycare, answering aggressive/mean/nonsense e-mails, pumping I just sit at my desk and do ... nothing. And it sucks. But I go back the next day and try again. And I still don't know what the end outcome will be, but the deadlines are looming sooner than ever.
In the meantime, I am trying as hard as possible to compartmentalize. But it can be so hard. On Friday I was exhausted. In bed at 1:30 am, up at 3 am because I was too stressed and hey, still had reading to do for the class I was teaching at 10 am, back to bed around 4:30 am, out the door with double stroller in tow ... class, obligatory lunch with out of town friend (so angry about this. I get guilted into the most absurd propositions like meeting a visiting friend for lunch on her schedule. Of course, I also try not to complain to my friends about the challenges of everyday stuff because it's all so banal), early pick-up thanks to the time change and 4:40 services, a full hour of battling the kids in synagogue alone (including the ever-so-symbolic eyes-averted dash through the men's section to rescue my toddler), long walk home with a toddler who refused to put on her coat, eating dinner while exhausted and repeatedly snapping at my toddler before tucking her into bed, nursing baby to bed and sitting down to ... work. She woke up this morning and desperately needed me and only me, probably because I was quite so short-tempered yesterday. It is very rare that I have an evening like that, and it really doesn't help that the dumpling has had sudden-onset-severe separation anxiety (or possibly just an ear infection?) and shrieks whenever I set him down, even if we're still touching ...
So yeah, things are a bit rough at times.
Other the other hand, some things are much improved. JD and I are doing much, much better together. I am having so much fun doing endless toddler activities with the fusspot (baking, painting, light box, counting, reading, reading, reading, but all that in another post). The dumpling now sleeps a good 3 hours in his own crib most nights, and that is also delightful (his crib, by the way, is 2 feet from our bed so it's not exactly quite as liberating as I could imagine).
There are times when I wonder about this parenting thing. On the one hand I love it and I certainly don't feel that getting up at 4 am to work in order to pick my kid up at 4:30 pm is a bad trade-off (and one trick I am sticking with is setting out a fun activity for the fusspot on her little table before I go to bed every night, no matter how late it is), on the other I wonder whether it is a little too easy to get caught up in the minutiae. Next post: our new Montesso.ri-inspired apartment make-over and crazy NYC moms.
I have immersed myself in the philosophy of don't-beat-yourself-up-tomorrow-is-a-new-day. There are so many days that after all of the stress of getting the babies to daycare, answering aggressive/mean/nonsense e-mails, pumping I just sit at my desk and do ... nothing. And it sucks. But I go back the next day and try again. And I still don't know what the end outcome will be, but the deadlines are looming sooner than ever.
In the meantime, I am trying as hard as possible to compartmentalize. But it can be so hard. On Friday I was exhausted. In bed at 1:30 am, up at 3 am because I was too stressed and hey, still had reading to do for the class I was teaching at 10 am, back to bed around 4:30 am, out the door with double stroller in tow ... class, obligatory lunch with out of town friend (so angry about this. I get guilted into the most absurd propositions like meeting a visiting friend for lunch on her schedule. Of course, I also try not to complain to my friends about the challenges of everyday stuff because it's all so banal), early pick-up thanks to the time change and 4:40 services, a full hour of battling the kids in synagogue alone (including the ever-so-symbolic eyes-averted dash through the men's section to rescue my toddler), long walk home with a toddler who refused to put on her coat, eating dinner while exhausted and repeatedly snapping at my toddler before tucking her into bed, nursing baby to bed and sitting down to ... work. She woke up this morning and desperately needed me and only me, probably because I was quite so short-tempered yesterday. It is very rare that I have an evening like that, and it really doesn't help that the dumpling has had sudden-onset-severe separation anxiety (or possibly just an ear infection?) and shrieks whenever I set him down, even if we're still touching ...
So yeah, things are a bit rough at times.
Other the other hand, some things are much improved. JD and I are doing much, much better together. I am having so much fun doing endless toddler activities with the fusspot (baking, painting, light box, counting, reading, reading, reading, but all that in another post). The dumpling now sleeps a good 3 hours in his own crib most nights, and that is also delightful (his crib, by the way, is 2 feet from our bed so it's not exactly quite as liberating as I could imagine).
There are times when I wonder about this parenting thing. On the one hand I love it and I certainly don't feel that getting up at 4 am to work in order to pick my kid up at 4:30 pm is a bad trade-off (and one trick I am sticking with is setting out a fun activity for the fusspot on her little table before I go to bed every night, no matter how late it is), on the other I wonder whether it is a little too easy to get caught up in the minutiae. Next post: our new Montesso.ri-inspired apartment make-over and crazy NYC moms.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
It would be great to pop back into my blog and note that I've been gone on a fantabulous vacation (more on that later, but nope, not gonna happen) or suddenly hit with a spurt of massive productivity but likewise, nope. However, I do have things I want to write about and I do plan to start here. It's just that there are so many blogs which I eventually give up on because the tone is so very whiny that it annoys me, and I don't want to fall into that category. There are many wonderful things happening around here and all sorts of infertility/post-infertility issues I want to write about.
Item one. This:
Yes, folks, that is the very height of culinary delicacy for the predominantly vegetarian (although actually just budget-conscious kosher) low carb gal. That fine combination of tofu, greens and eggplant can be had at Whole Foods for $9.99 and I plan to do so at least every other week in the upcoming months. Needless to say low carb sucks, and I am terrible at doing things in a moderate way. I really don't care about losing weight per se, and I am distinctly under my normal weight already but we are long past the 6 month mark and I still look distinctly pregnant. And oddly enough, it's not really pudge. My stomach area is pretty firm ... beats me with what. I was so annoyed at yet again looking awful one afternoon that I ran out to our local torture-device store with double stroller in tow and bought something spanx-like. I felt pretty proud of myself for finagling 2 children through a fitting room and braving such an awful item only to walk out the store and basically into Tim Gu.nn on the sidewalk hailing a cab and looking impeccably dressed and toned. This neighborhood is just not good for realistic body image. The fusspot also spent all of Sunday afternoon pointing out the people with "sparkly blankets" all over the city (locals would certainly recognize the post-marathon metallic blankets). It's not that I really want to run a marathon, but the fact that I can't find time to work out even once a week is just sad. But with a husband who doesn't get home until midnight and not nearly enough daycare hours to get my work done, it is what it is. Someday I will at least be able to run a 10k workout again.
On the subject of body image, I was delighted (truly delighted) to discover that Ms. 8-feet-tall-size-zero-mom-of-2-babies/toddlers slightly younger than mine is not in fact not newly postpartum. Given the diversity of families in our neighborhood, it just didn't cross my mind that the children might be foster children. We have had several brief conversations and she is nothing if not glowing about her own experience and the willingness of the NYC foster system to place newborns into the arms of foster parents. So very nice to talk to someone who has had a good experience.
So yeah, definitely trying to lose some midsection pudge. What I'd really like to do is start planning for my breast reduction surgery, but that's not even on the table for another 5 years, possibly 10 (long-time readers may recall that I am particularly ill-proportioned thanks to the wonders of artificial hormones as a child. Ain't nothing natural about my formerly 34G currently 34I, and so they're coming off someday). I find it so depressing to look at photos of me with my adorable children where I either look awful or are very strategically holding them in weird positions to cover up my ill-fitting, tugged too low, unflattering clothes. Oh well, I'll hopefully lose a little weight or maybe just get over my pretentions a bit more.
So, the vacation. One of my dearest friends is getting married in December. Far, far away. Granted, not exactly in the most hospitable country for visitors (let's just say the U.S. sent in some marines to shoot someone recently rather close to the wedding site. I know, great location, eh?) but the combination of some pretty lengthy research and the offer of a free ticket had me sold. And honestly, JD has never really said no to one of my crazy travel plans. But he did here. And it would be fine if it were really about safety (I was planning to take just the dumpling, see above re: nursing) but it's not. It's about cost (2 visas, the dumpling's airplane security fees would be all) and jealousy, and that makes me pissed. It makes me pissed because I agreed not to go because he doesn't want me to, and then he suggests a family vacation the same week which would be much, much more expensive and not particularly exciting. So I suggested he go someplace alone for the week since he always says how I travel more than him and ... crickets. I would leap at the opportunity to travel alone for a week, or more likely take the dumpling to visit some relatives/friends he hasn't met yet, but nope. So we're at an impasse: I am pissed about missing my good friend's wedding, JD has a vacation week which will expire Jan. 1 but is not exactly planning something himself, and I certainly don't want to spend my time trying to find something budget to do for a family of 4 around Christmas-time. Anyone interested in an house swap to a petite but very well-stocked with toys and cribs NYC apartment? Something tells me we'll be having a lovely working vacation at my in-laws this year.
And now it's back to pumping. My supply seems to have tanked but I am still (absurdly) adamantly refusing to supplement, so instead I pump every 2-3 hours during the day and try to add in 2 pumping sessions at night despite co-sleeping to increase the baby's nighttime nursing. He seems to be growing just fine (and is in fact still refusing bottles on some days) but there is no way my supply is going to get us to 12 months without a lot of extra work. I am pretty sure it's just the build-up of endless stress which is doing me in, but I can't quite figure out how to solve that problem yet.
Item one. This:
Yes, folks, that is the very height of culinary delicacy for the predominantly vegetarian (although actually just budget-conscious kosher) low carb gal. That fine combination of tofu, greens and eggplant can be had at Whole Foods for $9.99 and I plan to do so at least every other week in the upcoming months. Needless to say low carb sucks, and I am terrible at doing things in a moderate way. I really don't care about losing weight per se, and I am distinctly under my normal weight already but we are long past the 6 month mark and I still look distinctly pregnant. And oddly enough, it's not really pudge. My stomach area is pretty firm ... beats me with what. I was so annoyed at yet again looking awful one afternoon that I ran out to our local torture-device store with double stroller in tow and bought something spanx-like. I felt pretty proud of myself for finagling 2 children through a fitting room and braving such an awful item only to walk out the store and basically into Tim Gu.nn on the sidewalk hailing a cab and looking impeccably dressed and toned. This neighborhood is just not good for realistic body image. The fusspot also spent all of Sunday afternoon pointing out the people with "sparkly blankets" all over the city (locals would certainly recognize the post-marathon metallic blankets). It's not that I really want to run a marathon, but the fact that I can't find time to work out even once a week is just sad. But with a husband who doesn't get home until midnight and not nearly enough daycare hours to get my work done, it is what it is. Someday I will at least be able to run a 10k workout again.On the subject of body image, I was delighted (truly delighted) to discover that Ms. 8-feet-tall-size-zero-mom-of-2-babies/toddlers slightly younger than mine is not in fact not newly postpartum. Given the diversity of families in our neighborhood, it just didn't cross my mind that the children might be foster children. We have had several brief conversations and she is nothing if not glowing about her own experience and the willingness of the NYC foster system to place newborns into the arms of foster parents. So very nice to talk to someone who has had a good experience.
So yeah, definitely trying to lose some midsection pudge. What I'd really like to do is start planning for my breast reduction surgery, but that's not even on the table for another 5 years, possibly 10 (long-time readers may recall that I am particularly ill-proportioned thanks to the wonders of artificial hormones as a child. Ain't nothing natural about my formerly 34G currently 34I, and so they're coming off someday). I find it so depressing to look at photos of me with my adorable children where I either look awful or are very strategically holding them in weird positions to cover up my ill-fitting, tugged too low, unflattering clothes. Oh well, I'll hopefully lose a little weight or maybe just get over my pretentions a bit more.
So, the vacation. One of my dearest friends is getting married in December. Far, far away. Granted, not exactly in the most hospitable country for visitors (let's just say the U.S. sent in some marines to shoot someone recently rather close to the wedding site. I know, great location, eh?) but the combination of some pretty lengthy research and the offer of a free ticket had me sold. And honestly, JD has never really said no to one of my crazy travel plans. But he did here. And it would be fine if it were really about safety (I was planning to take just the dumpling, see above re: nursing) but it's not. It's about cost (2 visas, the dumpling's airplane security fees would be all) and jealousy, and that makes me pissed. It makes me pissed because I agreed not to go because he doesn't want me to, and then he suggests a family vacation the same week which would be much, much more expensive and not particularly exciting. So I suggested he go someplace alone for the week since he always says how I travel more than him and ... crickets. I would leap at the opportunity to travel alone for a week, or more likely take the dumpling to visit some relatives/friends he hasn't met yet, but nope. So we're at an impasse: I am pissed about missing my good friend's wedding, JD has a vacation week which will expire Jan. 1 but is not exactly planning something himself, and I certainly don't want to spend my time trying to find something budget to do for a family of 4 around Christmas-time. Anyone interested in an house swap to a petite but very well-stocked with toys and cribs NYC apartment? Something tells me we'll be having a lovely working vacation at my in-laws this year.
And now it's back to pumping. My supply seems to have tanked but I am still (absurdly) adamantly refusing to supplement, so instead I pump every 2-3 hours during the day and try to add in 2 pumping sessions at night despite co-sleeping to increase the baby's nighttime nursing. He seems to be growing just fine (and is in fact still refusing bottles on some days) but there is no way my supply is going to get us to 12 months without a lot of extra work. I am pretty sure it's just the build-up of endless stress which is doing me in, but I can't quite figure out how to solve that problem yet.
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