It's the little things that I keep forgetting ... like the fact that when you have a cold your body is already under stress and working extra-hard and thus it really can't figure out how to process carbs. My blood sugar readings have been high for the past 2 days straight. And it was even worse because I was at JD's parents.
As I'm sure you can tell from my last post, JD's parents pamper us to an extreme. And they have been nothing but warm and loving in welcoming me into their family. But ... I'm so used to my family where everyone understands the basics of nutrition and pregnancy and diabetes ... and it's so hard to have to repeatedly defend why I can't eat all sorts of delicious food (yes, I know my MIL ate sushi during pregnancy and it all worked out for the best. But it's just not worth the risk for me at this point, especially when I have absolutely no idea where it came from or how long it had been unrefigerated ...). I actually went to the supermarket with my MIL on Thursday morning to get some low-carb food, but she was pretty horrified that I kept buying things 'they already had in the house.' Even when I showed her that her yogurt has 35 grams of carbs and mine only has 16 grams per serving, she didn't really get it. Nor does she understand how bread can be counted as a sugar, let alone delicious steaming dumplings ...
JD's father twice referred to my post-prandial blood draws as 'permission to eat more food or not' and I really exercised self-control in not snapping "Just trying to keep your granddaughter alive for another couple of weeks." It didn't help that it's getting cold in NY and while it's easy to make up an excuse for a walk in the city, there is nowhere at all reasonable to walk in the cookie cutter subdivisions of Long Island. Thus, JD took me on rather a large numebr of forced marches around his parent's gated community, which just happens to only have .25 miles of sidewalk in it, so round and round and round we went while his parents watched from the living room and expressed their disapproval of me being out in the cold and bafflement at why exactly I needed to take a walk.
JD's mother is still talking about picking me up from the hospital and taking me out to her place to rest after I give birth. I've basically dropped out of the conversation. If JD hasn't just told his mother it's not happening by this point, I guess she'll find out afterwards. I even told my mother on the phone yesterday that we are not planning to call her when I go into labor, even though she has a 10 hour drive to get up here. I want it to be just JD and me, and we'll notify people as we're ready to talk to them and possibly see them (and yes, I understand that is as self-centered as can be, but oh well).
Anyway, back in the city and planning to spend the evening recovering in bed.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
I predict far more of this obsessiveness in the next month ...
Like any first-time pregnant, highly obsessive women I was a bit worried about the 'general feeling of malaise' on Wednesday and my exhaustion and it made me a bit stressed about the whole idea of just maybe being enroute to labor (nevermind the NST that showed no contractions at 9:30 am ...) ... of course, the far more logical conclusion turns out to be the more accurate one: I was coming down with a bad head cold. No wonder I felt tired and stressed and told the midwife twice that I had only paged her 'because I felt too overwhelmed to decide whether this was actually important.' Me. Who rarely feels too overwhelmed to jump feet first into whatever random choice I have just made.
Oh, and while we were on the train to my in-laws JD called up to tell them what time to pick us up and to order his favorite dinner. And since I can't eat that late at night because of my fasting blood draw, I ordered up a large humidifier -full and set on high, please- in our bedroom (did I mention how much they pamper us?). So clearly in the back of my mind I must have been aware that I might just be getting sick.
Anyway, Thanksgiving was lovely. JD's cousins came. I ate all sorts of delicious food (spicy meatballs, spicy tofu, spicy deep fried fish ... a pattern here?). I made 2 desserts in record time and managed to have 2 bites of each without spiking my blood sugar all that much. And there was all the usual but always unpredicatable entertainment. This year one of JD's aunts brought along a Chinese salsa dance instructor with the most incredible toupe who just happened to have taken professional cooking lessions in Beijing and spent 3 hours in the kitchen doing made-for-TV cooking faces for me and explaining in detail how I (who have kept strictly kosher since age 11) could prepare my very own shrimp and pork legs. In Chinese, of course. You just can't make this stuff up.
And because JD and I were both shooed out of the kitchen repeatedly we landed up taking 2 mid-afternoon naps (the guests here tend to arrive around 10 am and stay till 10 pm so this isn't quite as rude as it sounds, although we would clearly never get away with it at my parents ...) and since we were wide awake at 11 pm, we decided to go out shopping. And I think either my baby has grown significantly or she really is just 100% nocturnal because she basically kicked non-stop from 12:30 am to 3:30 am, despite the immense amount of walking we did around the Long Island outlets. Which would have been lovely and all if it weren't for the awful lines at every bathroom at the outlets. But JD bought some very cute work ties and I bought 2 outfits for baby, and we went home at about 3:30 am very content and not too much poorer.
Oh, and while we were on the train to my in-laws JD called up to tell them what time to pick us up and to order his favorite dinner. And since I can't eat that late at night because of my fasting blood draw, I ordered up a large humidifier -full and set on high, please- in our bedroom (did I mention how much they pamper us?). So clearly in the back of my mind I must have been aware that I might just be getting sick.
Anyway, Thanksgiving was lovely. JD's cousins came. I ate all sorts of delicious food (spicy meatballs, spicy tofu, spicy deep fried fish ... a pattern here?). I made 2 desserts in record time and managed to have 2 bites of each without spiking my blood sugar all that much. And there was all the usual but always unpredicatable entertainment. This year one of JD's aunts brought along a Chinese salsa dance instructor with the most incredible toupe who just happened to have taken professional cooking lessions in Beijing and spent 3 hours in the kitchen doing made-for-TV cooking faces for me and explaining in detail how I (who have kept strictly kosher since age 11) could prepare my very own shrimp and pork legs. In Chinese, of course. You just can't make this stuff up.
And because JD and I were both shooed out of the kitchen repeatedly we landed up taking 2 mid-afternoon naps (the guests here tend to arrive around 10 am and stay till 10 pm so this isn't quite as rude as it sounds, although we would clearly never get away with it at my parents ...) and since we were wide awake at 11 pm, we decided to go out shopping. And I think either my baby has grown significantly or she really is just 100% nocturnal because she basically kicked non-stop from 12:30 am to 3:30 am, despite the immense amount of walking we did around the Long Island outlets. Which would have been lovely and all if it weren't for the awful lines at every bathroom at the outlets. But JD bought some very cute work ties and I bought 2 outfits for baby, and we went home at about 3:30 am very content and not too much poorer.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
We made it!
Feeling much, much better. Paged the midwife again from the train and all seems to be sorted out. And now to focus on being pampered and shopping for the next 2 days :-)
Still pissed
and definitely overreacting. I'm sure that my midwife will figure out some ob/gyn to see me and clear me for a 'natural' delivery. But she has ignored both of my pages today, and when I finally paged her partner she told me it was absurd that they wouldn't make an appointment for me and that she'd call them and get back to me. But that was hours ago and no call, and of course their office is closed now for the holiday.
I know I'm overreacting and one extra appointment is not that big a deal and someone will fit me in, but I am pissed. Pissed because I have a dinner Thursday night that I have been looking forward to for days, which I will probably not be able to make if I get an appointment on Thursday. Pissed that my time is worth absolutely nothing and that every specialist in the world can demand that I come in to see them just as much as they like and that I will be in non-compliance should I refuse. Even though this is all just 'precaution' and thus far there is not the slightest hint that anything is wrong with the baby. And really so much of this is wasted time. I was dopplered four times yesterday by four different doctors.
Pissed that every time I mention how much time I am spending in doctors appointments and how miserable it is to be hungry non-stop and to have to schedule my days around being someplace I can wash my hands and draw my blood 4-5 times a day, everyone feels the need to remind me 'just how lucky I am.' I know I'm lucky. I am incredibly, incredibly lucky to be pregnant. And obviously I will do whatever is necessary to have a healthy baby. We weren't sure this would ever happen and we're both still more than a bit amazed that it has. But that doesn't really recognize the incredible amount of stress this has put on me in my last month. I will spend at least 1/2 of every other day until I deliver running to doctors appointments and waiting in uncomfortable waiting rooms and being weighed and poked and evaluated. And of course I get stressed at every appointment. In fact, all of my blood sugar readings have been off today because I have been so stressed about whether to page the midwife about something that is clearly not an emergency and how to deal with this (and no, it's not what I've eaten because I have honestly had the exact same food as yesterday, meal for meal and snack for snack).
And of course, we might not have Thanksgiving this year. JD is still at work. We have a 2.5 hour trip out to his parents, and he thinks he might be able to get out of the office by 9 pm. And he might very well need to work Friday. Plus, since the car was junked we have to take the train out to his parents and it's sure to be a bit miserable late at night and possibly back at 6 or 7 am on Friday morning.
Hopefully my next post will at least be from my in-law's house.
I know I'm overreacting and one extra appointment is not that big a deal and someone will fit me in, but I am pissed. Pissed because I have a dinner Thursday night that I have been looking forward to for days, which I will probably not be able to make if I get an appointment on Thursday. Pissed that my time is worth absolutely nothing and that every specialist in the world can demand that I come in to see them just as much as they like and that I will be in non-compliance should I refuse. Even though this is all just 'precaution' and thus far there is not the slightest hint that anything is wrong with the baby. And really so much of this is wasted time. I was dopplered four times yesterday by four different doctors.
Pissed that every time I mention how much time I am spending in doctors appointments and how miserable it is to be hungry non-stop and to have to schedule my days around being someplace I can wash my hands and draw my blood 4-5 times a day, everyone feels the need to remind me 'just how lucky I am.' I know I'm lucky. I am incredibly, incredibly lucky to be pregnant. And obviously I will do whatever is necessary to have a healthy baby. We weren't sure this would ever happen and we're both still more than a bit amazed that it has. But that doesn't really recognize the incredible amount of stress this has put on me in my last month. I will spend at least 1/2 of every other day until I deliver running to doctors appointments and waiting in uncomfortable waiting rooms and being weighed and poked and evaluated. And of course I get stressed at every appointment. In fact, all of my blood sugar readings have been off today because I have been so stressed about whether to page the midwife about something that is clearly not an emergency and how to deal with this (and no, it's not what I've eaten because I have honestly had the exact same food as yesterday, meal for meal and snack for snack).
And of course, we might not have Thanksgiving this year. JD is still at work. We have a 2.5 hour trip out to his parents, and he thinks he might be able to get out of the office by 9 pm. And he might very well need to work Friday. Plus, since the car was junked we have to take the train out to his parents and it's sure to be a bit miserable late at night and possibly back at 6 or 7 am on Friday morning.
Hopefully my next post will at least be from my in-law's house.
Going crazy
It's 9 am. I was up till midnight working since I spent all of yesterday morning and evening in appointments. And I just tried to schedule the last of them. Apparently because I am now 'high risk' I need an ob/gyn to look over my chart and clear me for a midwife delivery. Apparently the GD clinic's note is not sufficient. And I found this out at 7 pm yesterday night. And the ob/gyn is booked until my due date ...
I whined/I cried/I told the poor receptionist exactly how much I was going through and that I needed an appointment. She agreed to 'let me come wait' next week and I can see the doctor if there is a no-show. She told me to expect to spend 5 hours waiting. Of course, the only afternoon the doctor sees patients also necessitates rescheduling 2 other appointments. I just have not been through all of this to fall through a legal liability crack at this point. I have already left a message for the midwife this morning. I'm starting to think I may actually need to put in for short-term disability with my university on the grounds that I actually don't have enough time to work this month ... all of this of course while feeling totally fine and walking several miles a day and running at least 10 flights of stairs ... totally absurd.
Ok, since I can't end yet another post whining about how awful it is to feel healthy but spend all day in doctor's offices, things I'm excited about for Thanksgiving:
- Kosher Chinese food!
- Shopping for bedside table lamps
- Seeing JD's cousins
- Sleeping in
- Foot massages (JD promised)
ps - And Rachel actually defended I wasn't whiny in a comment last week ...
I whined/I cried/I told the poor receptionist exactly how much I was going through and that I needed an appointment. She agreed to 'let me come wait' next week and I can see the doctor if there is a no-show. She told me to expect to spend 5 hours waiting. Of course, the only afternoon the doctor sees patients also necessitates rescheduling 2 other appointments. I just have not been through all of this to fall through a legal liability crack at this point. I have already left a message for the midwife this morning. I'm starting to think I may actually need to put in for short-term disability with my university on the grounds that I actually don't have enough time to work this month ... all of this of course while feeling totally fine and walking several miles a day and running at least 10 flights of stairs ... totally absurd.
Ok, since I can't end yet another post whining about how awful it is to feel healthy but spend all day in doctor's offices, things I'm excited about for Thanksgiving:
- Kosher Chinese food!
- Shopping for bedside table lamps
- Seeing JD's cousins
- Sleeping in
- Foot massages (JD promised)
ps - And Rachel actually defended I wasn't whiny in a comment last week ...
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Make that six
appointments next week. Six. And I'm supposed to be 'getting ahead' with my work since I at most will have 4 weeks leave.
At least I hired a nanny today (in fact it was a done deal before we'd even talked, but still nice to spend some time talking to her. She's been working for a good friend 3 days a week for the past 6 months and wants to go to full time. I'm picking up her extra 2 days and 2 hours on another afternoon). I should have 18 hours of childcare per week in NYC from Feb. 1 to the end of May. I wonder if I'm spending 18 hours a week nowadays commuting to and waiting for doctor's appointments ... well, at least 12.
At least I hired a nanny today (in fact it was a done deal before we'd even talked, but still nice to spend some time talking to her. She's been working for a good friend 3 days a week for the past 6 months and wants to go to full time. I'm picking up her extra 2 days and 2 hours on another afternoon). I should have 18 hours of childcare per week in NYC from Feb. 1 to the end of May. I wonder if I'm spending 18 hours a week nowadays commuting to and waiting for doctor's appointments ... well, at least 12.
You've got to laugh - add one more thing to the pile
Well, my mother seems to be on a mission to make sure we donate our cord blood. She works in a field related to this and is a big advocate for organ donation, etc. so she seems to have done all the calling around and I just got a phone call from a donation place with 'a few questions for me' and the paperwork is apparently already in the mail.
I'm really glad my mother took care of this because I'm happy to do it but it honestly wasn't at the top of my list given everything else going on. And apparently the cord blood from biracial children is in particular demand, so it's nice that we actually have something potentially useful to offer to another family after everything that's been done for us along the way. I'm already on the bone marrow donor registry and JD has promised to sign up when they're next in the neighborhood, so hopefully our daughter will be able to help out at some point in the future too.
I'm really glad my mother took care of this because I'm happy to do it but it honestly wasn't at the top of my list given everything else going on. And apparently the cord blood from biracial children is in particular demand, so it's nice that we actually have something potentially useful to offer to another family after everything that's been done for us along the way. I'm already on the bone marrow donor registry and JD has promised to sign up when they're next in the neighborhood, so hopefully our daughter will be able to help out at some point in the future too.
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